Partner of 10 years gone back in time??

[Twinkletoesxoxo]

Il keep this short.

Partner of 10 years has completely gone back in time age wise. He’s acting like a 20 year old hanging out with 20 year old boys and girls whilst I’m at home with our newborn and 6 year old. He has also met up with a 19 year old girl and took her out in his car (nothing happened apparently) he is 35 btw! He goes out most nights until 3am with these young boys and girls driving around in his car and basically it seems like he would prefer to hang out with 19 year old girls and boys rather than me and his family.

What do I do? Stick it out and hope it’s just a phase or leave?

Hi Twinkletoesxoxo,

I've read carefuly through this thread and what I can see is that this idea that he holds all of the power is a conception. You are the centre of his world. You have pointed out he is insecure, you know this about him. It sounds as though he has lost his rudder. Take back some control. Gather together your and your childrens essentials and go stay with your Mum. You have told him how you feel and he has chosen to ignore this, assuming home life won't change because he has the power. By leaving you remove that notion that he can do what he likes without consequence. There is a very good chance this kick up the arse will set him back on track. I broke up with my much wealthier other half before we were married when the balance of percieved power was all on him and his behaviour was becoming awful. It took a month without me for him to realise what he had lost, He chased me back and has never been that dick again. If you remove yourself and mean it, he will stop looking outside your relationship and start looking into it and at you and your precious children. If he doesn't do everything he can to get you back then my god you have saved yourself some time. You sound like a decent person who values happiness over money. If he carries on as he is, you will leave him eventually. Surely better to do it now than later. He may redeem himself. I really admire you and fully believe you are the stronger person in this relationship. I wish you all the best.

@rritchie44 thank you and I appreciate the time you took to read the posts and help me. I am worried that if we leave he will do something stupid to himself as I think he maybe depressed and often says things like this world is rubbish blah blah blah I am worried that if we leave he will kill himself rather than trying to make things work

Don't fall for his emotional blackmail; that's all it is. A ploy to keep you there and under 'control'.

If you're seriously worried about him at any point, call his bluff and call 999.

Please don't use this as an excuse to stay and not rock the boat. You and your DC deserve better. He sounds like a selfish, childish pain in the arse.

He says that after what happened to his brother dying and leaving behind children he is so worried everyday about something happening to our children that he tries to forget about them and just do his own thing because he thinks that this world is shit and awful and he can’t bare to see anything bad happening to his own children and he is very anxious about this and thinks about them hurting themselves or something bad happening but by distancing himself from them he doesn’t feel so anxious and worried constantly

Well when you have gone he won't have to think about the children he created.
I would tell him his brother would be appalled by his behaviour, throwing away the love of his family, for a bunch of immature money grabbing girls.
You can't help him help himself if he is refusing grieving therapy, but you can very much help yourself & your Dc not live his descent into misery.

Bollocks, I've been through a family tragedy and I didn't pull this crap. Tell him to be a big boy and go to the GP to ask about counselling or look into local grief counselling services.

He's just another sad man that wants his ego stroked by people too young to see past his bS.

emotional blackmail 101 OP

So you’re staying so he doesn’t kill himself? What a lovely relationship to showcase in front of a child.
You’re not responsible for your partners behaviour, he is.
It’s a shame he doesn’t show the same level of responsibility for you. Can you not see how one sided it is? You’re coming across almost desperate to stay with this dude who is giving you zero respect and flirting with teenagers whilst rallying around with the likes of old corsas (let’s face it).

It doesn’t matter what he says because you will be stood there like a puppy dog with all the belief in the world.

It’s a really sad read.

Yes you are right I am worth much more than what I’m putting up with. I have a good part time job, I’m pretty, I have a nice personality, I’m a good partner and an amazing mother so not to blow my own trumpet I’m a catch really except I doubt many men will want me now with 2 children but il keep that for another thread I think I’m just so worried about the unknown and I’m worried, wondering if things will work out for the better if I leave or will they turn out for the worse? Will I regret leaving and what if I wanted to come back? I guess I’m just so worried about the future as I have been with this guy since I was 18 years old and he’s my first and only ever boyfriend so for me this is a massive deal to walk away from the only man I have ever known and plus I have 2 kids with him.

Yes I can see that but you will be ok. At least go and stay for awhile as a temporary thing and see what he does

How he takes it is on him

I wouldn’t worry about having only 2 children and thinking that makes you not good gf/wife material

Aunt had 4 children and had her pick of guys. I have a friend who has 7 and again has never had any trouble finding husband no 2 and then no 3.

If you fast forward your life in your mind do you think things will change. Do you see your Dp suddenly becoming a better father or do you just see yourself 10 years older and putting up with the same old shit or at some point being thrown out and having to start again when he moves a younger prettier girl into his bed.

Go now and don’t wait for him to make the decisions