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Original poster

Very stupidly renting with ex

115 replies

FishGingers · 06/06/2019 23:13

after our house was sold as an interim solution. It’s a complete nightmare and I need him to move out. We have two children. He refuses to move out and is asking us to move out instead.

I am the lead tenant and higher earner. He is not really contributing to the children (food, utilities etc) but he pays 50% of the rent.

How do I get him out of the property (peacefully)?

The children like it here and it’s convenient for my daughter’s school.

OP posts:
Original poster
FishGingers · 06/06/2019 23:17

Anyone? I’m stuck here with a very angry guy and two upset children. How do I get out of this self inflicted mess?

OP posts:
ElektraUnchained · 06/06/2019 23:29

Have you spoken to the landlord?

Original poster
FishGingers · 06/06/2019 23:32

Not yet. I don’t want to highlight any problems. I really just need to know if I can ask him to leave and then inform the agency.

OP posts:
FuriousVexation · 07/06/2019 00:11

If he's on the tenancy and you're still in the initial contract period, you have no legal right to make him move out. You can move out yourself, but you'd still be responsible for 50% of the monthly rent.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 07/06/2019 00:19

When you say 'lead tenant' do you mean his name is not on the tenancy at all? If so, as I understand it, you can force him to get out as he has no legal right to stay there. He's effectively your guest. If his name IS on the tenancy, you both have an equal right to live there so it will be much more tricky. How long before the initial contract is up?

Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 00:55

It’s another five months and life is hell. He threatening all sorts of things, DS wants to move out immediately, because he is so fed up with his father’s behaviour and I frankly don’t know what to do anymore. He is getting worse every day. His business is in trouble and he has to move out of his offices now as well. We had to sell the family home, because he loaned money against the house to support his ‘business’.

OP posts:
Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 00:57

His name is on the tenancy too, I don’t know if it makes any difference, but I am the ‘lead tenant’. He did not provide references etc though, but he paid a partial deposit.

OP posts:
RantyAnty · 07/06/2019 01:32

What kinds of things is he threatening?

Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 06:51

Oh random stuff, he drinks as well and we believe he also has a mental health problem, as he does not seem to remember anything from one minute to the next and denies absolutely everything. He’s horrible and much worse than ever.

OP posts:
whathappenedtoskiyoghurt · 07/06/2019 07:07

I'd probably cut my losses with the house and leave op. I'd tell the landlord he was taking over the lease and have my name removed.

I'm not sure if calling women's aid and asking their advice would be beneficial but you could certainly try.

Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 08:11

I would, but he is not going to take over the lease and can’t afford it in his own. I’d have to continue paying. I like this house and I would like to try and buy it once he is out.

OP posts:
Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 08:13

He knows that and hopes he can stay ... he is planning to retire and does not want to work anymore. He wants me to buy a large house so he can do some work from home and has space for his flipping hobbies too.

OP posts:
Picklepickle123 · 07/06/2019 08:19

You need to get out OP. He's your ex! Don't let him stay you down with him any longer. Find somewhere new and make sure he never has a key. Doorstep dropoffs for the kids and that's it!

Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 08:20

He told DS last night he is not sure if he is his dad. That’s how awful he gets.

OP posts:
Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 08:21

I am tied to the lease though.

OP posts:
Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 08:22

We co-own my car - he wants it back to sell it. He has asked for my ring so he can sell it too.

OP posts:
whathappenedtoskiyoghurt · 07/06/2019 08:24

I think you really need to call your landlord and explain. Either way one of you is leaving and you need to discuss it. He's batshit if he thinks he can live with his ex against her will.

Having read your update I really think you should call women's aid for advice. You're absolutely not the first woman unfortunately to have a nasty ex refuse to move out.

RantyAnty · 07/06/2019 08:26

Are you still acting like a couple while living together?

Cooking for him, laundry, sleeping together, etc.?

He comment about you buying a house sounds like he thinks you two are still together.

If you want him to move out, be the most annoying person until he can't stand it anymore and leaves. Whatever he hates, do it.

Are there any annoying relatives or friends you can invite to stay for a week or so?

whathappenedtoskiyoghurt · 07/06/2019 08:26

My god op just leave. Go anywhere you can, family, hotel, anywhere. You can't live like this and no house is worth it. If you love the house so much you may be able to lease it again at the end of 5 months when he's forced to move out because he can't afford it.

Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 08:29

We are not a couple. He is in s downstairs sitting room that he uses as a bedroom - we are sleeping upstairs.

OP posts:
RedPink · 07/06/2019 08:30

What an awful situation to be in. Is there anyone that your ex might listen to that you could ask to help speak to him. (Iyswim) Perhaps he has a brother or friend that could help? 🤷🏻‍♀️

StVincent · 07/06/2019 08:33

How on earth did he persuade you until this? It sounds like hell.

Can you afford the house on your own?

Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 08:33

He is not accepting anything and he is also acting like my personal bailiff regarding the car and the ring. Last night he said he would report the car stolen should I dare to drive it. It’s my car and I have the paperwork. He’s not even insured to drive it due to drunk driving it way too expensive to have him on the policy. If there was any guarantee that he would leave, I would give him both, but if I give him the car and my ring, he will ask for money and this will never end. He is enjoying this.

OP posts:
Original poster
FishGingers · 07/06/2019 08:34

I can afford the house on my own.

OP posts:
stupidorparanoid · 07/06/2019 08:35

Speak to your landlord and explain the situation. Ask to take over the tenancy solely on your name. Hopefully it's a good landlord and he will agree to it. Then pack his stuff chuck him out and change locks.
If landlord doesnt agree to this, then start looking for another place OP. Hope things work out Flowers