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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Samsung Secure Folder

165 replies

stupidorparanoid · 28/05/2019 14:20

Hello MN I need some advice.
I was going through my husband phone, looking at pictures on his gallery (with his permission). Then I pressed the recent app, something came up as secure folder, I couldn't get into it as it needed a pin to go in. I asked him about it and denied installing it and said that it came with the Samsung phone. I insisted and then he tried a few pins which he says he uses and said it was not working. He later said to me that he managed to unlock it and gave me access t o eh secure folder. I didn't even bother looking as I am thinking, if there was anything incriminating, then he would have deleted it before giving me the phone.
Should I be worried? does anyone know anything about secure folders?
Thanks

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 11/06/2019 22:09

I’m very sorry.

What happened? Did he admit anything?

stupidorparanoid · 11/06/2019 22:19

Nope still maintains just friends.. but then doenst want me to contact her, doesn't want me to upset her, 'cant' stop talking to her as that would be unprofessional.
Oh and after a huge fight, he told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore because I am always fighting and accusing him of something he hasnt done

OP posts:
Fielder7 · 11/06/2019 22:19

@stupidorparanoid

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I commented on your thread on another name. I feel I'll I ended up buying a Samsung a40 tested the secure folder myself and found out you can store contacts in there that noone can see! Basically, it's a cheaters dream.
You can have two WhatsApp and messenger accounts and then store the other "secret" account in your secure folder so noone can ever see! Its really quite vile

What happened for it to get this far? I'm so saddened to hear must be horrible

Fielder7 · 11/06/2019 22:23

@stupidorparanoid

He is hiding her for a reason, could they be having an affair? The part that's strange is I remember you saying he doesn't go out much and spends time with you and DC. Not sure why she is so important to him
If I were tou inwould text her and ask questions. What have you got to lose now?

MsDogLady · 11/06/2019 22:24

And how can you “leave her out of it” when he has included her in your marriage by texting inappropriately with her and secretly keeping her photo?

stupidorparanoid · 11/06/2019 22:25

@fielder7 I am just tired of all the lies. He cannot bear to hear anything nad about the colleague. He keeps saying Good friends but to me this is not a normal friendship. He's ok to upset me but not her. And then I gave him an ultimatum, stop talking to her or we are over. Said he cant as that would be rude and unprofessional as they work together (they dont even work in same dept) so other than hello I cant see any need to communicate. I said me or her.. he said he isn't choosing her over me but cannot stop talking to her as they work together... I suppose that gave me my answer as to where I stand in this marriage

OP posts:
Windmillwhirl · 11/06/2019 22:28

So he was ok to stop contacting her before, but now his marriage is on the list e, he won't.

He's a liar and cheat. You will be ok in time. Yes, it hurts, but at least you know the truth. Ignore his petty insults. They are all the has; you have the truth.

Sorry you are going through this x

Fielder7 · 11/06/2019 22:36

@stupidorparanoid

Cannot explain how much I felt your pain I'm in the exact same situation!! My dop was caught txting female colleague, shes on his "team" but like yours he doesn't work closely with her as they don't work on the same projects so no need to talk to her, mine is a bit more manipulative though. Hes claiming he doesn't speak to her but it's obvious he is.....
Maybe not txting her but who knows

I'm in a life of paranoia and anxiety every day literally feeling sick when he goes to work knowing they're together. Like yours though he hardly goes out and is always home by 4.30pm, always with us on the weekends so friends n family have been telling me to stop as hes not having an "affair"
BUT I read the text messages and it was definitely flirting and emotional discussing feelings etc

Have you decided to leave him?

MsDogLady · 11/06/2019 22:50

It sounds like things have escalated between them and she is his No. 1 priority. If he cared about your feelings and valued his marriage, he would gladly cut contact with her and limit it to hello at work.

This is not a mere friendship. He is too vehement in his priority and protection of her while being utterly contemptuous of you.

Mrsmummy90 · 11/06/2019 23:00

Just read the thread and wanna say how sorry I am that he's doing this to you.
If I were you, I'd contact her anyway!

If he genuinely had nothing to hide, he'd be bending over backwards to prove his loyalty to you. His behaviour is proof alone that something is amiss!

stupidorparanoid · 11/06/2019 23:05

Thanks everyone... I did contact her and was very polite to her as she owes me nothing vreally. She says they are only friends and admit that there was some flirting on her part. Then says she will stop all communication with him and is very sorry etc for the hurt and pray to God for me to find happiness...the cheek.
But they have been texting still ..

OP posts:
stupidorparanoid · 11/06/2019 23:09

@fielder7. That's absolutely right!. He hardly ever goes out and always with us. Unless they are shaging at work, I find it hard to see when they are doing it!

OP posts:
stupidorparanoid · 11/06/2019 23:11

Think he is obsessed by the idea of her.. he is like a teenager infatuated. She is filling him with compliments and boosting his ego and hes is lapping it up!

OP posts:
stupidorparanoid · 11/06/2019 23:15

He just came downstairs and saw me on my phone and said 'are you still harassing her, you need to leave her alone, you are making this turn ugly' I weren't even messaging her! I am sitting her in shock

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 11/06/2019 23:30

So he lied in December when he said he’d stop messaging her.

I wouldn’t believe her that it is just friendship and the flirting was just on her part. He has been pursuing her. She is now protecting him.

This is, at the least, an emotional affair. Many colleagues find time to cheat during lunch or by leaving work early.

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 11/06/2019 23:30

She's definitely his priority now.

Fielder7 · 12/06/2019 07:50

@stupidorparanoid

Absolutely disgusting. I'm so shocked and disgraced at his behaviour !! Therr has got to be more to this, it is also shocking that shes replied to you!
I txt my dps colleague and she ignored all texts! I tried to be nice and ask her what was going on as I'd see messages between them - no reply!

I think it's a good sign shes replied as shes acknowledging you. If she has a shred of decency she would see the pain its causing you and stop. What does she get out of it giving him compliments. I'll never understand some women. I could never fancy someone who was taken let alone married with kids! For me it's just a turn off, because you know you'll always be that bit on the side.

Its cruel how hes treating you OP. I'd be inclined to think he was in love with her. My do didn't say anything when I txt the ow but then again, hes cocky at the best of times and probably enjoyed the idea of me fighting for him! Also, I don't know what he was saying to her in person .maybe they has an agreement for her not to talk to me

stupidorparanoid · 12/06/2019 08:01

@fielder7 shed blocked me on what's app now and told him to tell me to leave her out of it. Suppose she knows that now o know they are both liars. I definitely think hes obsessed with her..hence I cant continue in this relationship anymore. I've taken the day off work today as still feeling g really shitty. He said some nasty things yesterday
Told me that he'd told her if I keep 'harassing' her, she should call the police as theres nothing he can do. I told him that I'll mention her in the divorce on grounds of adultery and he hit the roof and said shes got nothing to do with our issues, shes just a friend etc etc

OP posts:
stupidorparanoid · 12/06/2019 08:02

@Fielder7 sorry that you are going through this.... is there any chance you can leave him? X

OP posts:
Fielder7 · 12/06/2019 12:51

@stupidorparanoid

Bloody hell! So the fact shes blocked you on WhatsApp speaks volumes. What exactly did you txt her? I don't know how they can spin it as harassing.
I txt dps OW on txt message as I dreaded if she would block me - I wanted access to her last seen so I could figure out if they were still talking or more. As far as I'm aware she hasn't blocked me but I stopped txting her after dp swore he wasnt talking to her anymore.
I don't think it's very nice how she txt u saying they were just friends and has now blocked you!

Tbh I've thought about leaving him.but we have a small child.it would just break my heart to be away from.her

It's so difficult I'm.shocked that your dp isn't fighting for your marriage it speaks volumes

Fielder7 · 12/06/2019 12:51

@stupidorparanoid

Sorry do u know how old.ow is? Is she younger than your dp?

stupidorparanoid · 12/06/2019 14:50

@Fielder7 you dont have to leave your child, take him/her with you!
I don't know how old other woman is. She looks early thirties.

OP posts:
RantyAnty · 12/06/2019 15:42

She blocked you but obviously hasn't blocked him.

The way he is treating you is disgusting.
You're his DW not just some random person. It's messed up he's putting her above you.

stupidorparanoid · 12/06/2019 17:41

I totally agree!

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 12/06/2019 19:29

he..said she’s got nothing to do with our issues

That’s rich, since his relationship with OW has caused your issues. He never intended to stop texting her. He is demonizing you now to justify his betrayal and emotional abandonment.

He is behaving like a single man. You must be shocked to the core that he is willing to lie, betray, and lose his marriage for her.

What are you going to do now?