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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What's the most rude/insulting/insensitive thing a competitive friend or aquaintance has said to you?

105 replies

user50000a · 23/05/2019 14:23

I know it isn't good form to start a second thread on same topic...but after my "competitive friend" thread I thought this one might be interesting...

I covered a few of my friend's comments in the other thread but the worst was probably the one about "thank god im not stuck in a tiny flat"... knowing full well I was still living in one!

a lighthearted thread :)

OP posts:
Decormad38 · 24/05/2019 03:58

Work colleague ‘what size clothes do you wear?’
Me ‘size 12’
Colleague ‘but is that actually size 12 or are you 14 and they are a bit tight!’

Happynow001 · 24/05/2019 04:51

LaurieFairyCake

"So in conclusion I think you're better off a bit fat. So you don't get ugly"
A case of brain not engaging before mouth? 🤔

Happynow001 · 24/05/2019 04:57

woodcutbirds
That sounds vile. How can someone do this to their own child? I hope you are now NC with him. 🌷

Happynow001 · 24/05/2019 05:35

Envious, unsupportive friends and jealous randoms are bad enough, but OMG What is it with the hurtful and unsupportive mothers?? a huge hug for all of you. 🤗

daisychain01 · 24/05/2019 05:43

After I'd been running for a year, someone in the running club said to me "imagine the size of you if you didn't run"

Hmm nice.

I do think a lot of things that sound outrageous are because people don't engage their brain before opening their gob. They probably look back and feel really embarrassed by what they said. Of course there are also the nasty ones who do it deliberate to cause offence.

Bloomburger · 24/05/2019 05:51

When I passed my driving test first time I didn't get the promised car from my father, just the question 'Did you give the instructor a blow job or something?' We were all sitting round with my younger brothers at the time.

My stepmother told me, after trying to get custody of my daughter when I divorced my abusive first husband, that their lives had been infinitely better without me in them and she'd finally got what she wanted after all these years.

When I was having a conversation 2 weeks after having Dd with a friend about how awful I looked and how much weight I had to lose, said lovely friend said she thought I needed to give my head a shake as I really didn't look as bad as I thought, another friend chirped in, oh I think she does. Then when questioned literally came out with a full snagging list of my 2 weeks post pregnancy body 😂

Lost5stone · 24/05/2019 06:32

I didnt realise how awful one of my school friends was until this thread. A bit like blanco she told me that her cousin had seen me in town and said she didnt get what the fuss was about me. Then she said my ex had seen me walk past and said to her I'd really let myself go. Thinking about it my ex was a really lovely person and I'd be shocked if he actually did say that.

When I was 4 my step mum told me that she quite liked me but obviously she would never love me

vampirethriller · 24/05/2019 06:41

"Blimey, what happened to you?!" When shown a photo of my skinny sisters.

ShirleyAvenue · 24/05/2019 06:59

"You know the other Shirley? You know, Slim Shirley?"
Well , if I'm not "Slim Shirley", which Shirley am I??

Original poster
user50000a · 24/05/2019 07:42

just remembered another one although this was from a friend that is always polite and lovely so maybe didn't realise how it sounded...

in the car pulling off my drive: "I bet the houses are really cheap round here."

strange because a two bed terraced goes for well over 300k and she lives in a very run down area. because I think she's lovely I thought nothing more of it, but it always made me laugh.

OP posts:
Original poster
user50000a · 24/05/2019 07:43

and no, the area wasn't cheap nor was it a rubbish area - odd!

OP posts:
fairydustandpixies · 24/05/2019 07:47

A now ex friend who'd been part of my life forever, an alcoholic single mum whose family I'd supported when she was too drunk to function, she was out of her tree and decided she wanted sex with me and to stay the night, I politely declined. She then blocked me on FB a few days later and sent me a text saying she didn't want a 'sex addict' as a friend and wanted nothing more to do with me...okaaaaaaaay....!

ItsInTheSpoon · 24/05/2019 07:50

MIL, to my sister standing next to me, “I wish you were my daughter-in-law”.... she was a spiteful, nasty old woman

TerpsichoreanMuse · 24/05/2019 08:07

I'd lost my baby at 12 weeks. My mother visited, no hug, just "Wonder why that happened? I never lost any pregnancies."

fedup21 · 24/05/2019 08:21

just remembered another one although this was from a friend that is always polite and lovely so maybe didn't realise how it sounded..in the car pulling off my drive: "I bet the houses are really cheap round here."

What an odd thing to say?!

jaffajiffy · 24/05/2019 13:02

My mum to DBro who has finally done well in a job and thinking of buying a flat for around £750k (London finance salary):
“So, a starter home then?” Hmm

DizzySue · 24/05/2019 13:13

'I never understood why you lived in such a small house and didn't buy something bigger'

woodcutbirds · 24/05/2019 13:30

@Happynow001 Almost. Not quite, but as near as I dare get to it.

lablewhore · 24/05/2019 13:34

My step father when coming to view my new house ( that was built in the grounds of an old Victorian Walled Garden) could only manage uughhh couldn't live here - like being in a prison.
My so called best fiends arguing whether I was a 'strong' person IN FRONT OF THEM because I was abused as a teenager...that one made me distance myself like a shot - and regret EVER telling them .
I am so sad to read some if these - I know we can inadvertently slip up and say something that sounds not how it does in your head - but people are trolls in real life too!

75Renarde · 24/05/2019 13:50

I was abused by my parents. My ex husband raped me and threatened to rape me to teach me a lesson.

After many years of struggling, last year I tried to commit suicide. I did it again this March after my ex removed all access to my beautiful children on utterly spurious grounds.

Friend said, if you just admit tgat where you are now is all your fault, we will help you.

I told her to fuck off.

NorthernRunner · 24/05/2019 13:55

I had not long lost my dad to a very quick aggressive cancer, I was 24, he was 50. I was struggling but I didn’t really realise it. Anyway my now husband encouraged me to go to the GP to see if there was someone I could talk to and I was prescribed citalopram and referred to bereavement counselling. I told a friend about it and she said “why are you taking pills, it’s not like you have anything on your mind”Shock this was about 6weeks after my dad had died.
7yrs on and I’ve never forgotten it. She isn’t a friend anymore.

ThatCurlyGirl · 24/05/2019 14:14

Just remembered one I think I've tried to forget. After a miscarriage I had "at least you know you can get pregnant" by someone close to me who was struggling to conceive.

I had been sympathetic to her situation and had held her crying every month she was devastated not to have fallen pregnant and been so supportive.

I was so hurt I didn't know what to say and just burst into tears.

fudgesmummy · 24/05/2019 16:16

@75Renarde 😡😢
I’m so sorry

WhoWasIt · 24/05/2019 16:58

My Grandfather died unexpectedly a good few years ago. At his funeral my Aunt ( his DIL ) told my other Aunt ( his DD ) at the funeral 'I don't understand crying over dead meat?'
How she didn't end up being shoved into the grave i will never know!

Marchitectmummy · 24/05/2019 17:10

Just before I started uni, my childhood friend's mum and I were chatting about my chosen course. She paused and said hhhm X cousin studied that as t was too hard and chuckled to herself while announcing that if he couldn't pass there is no way I would be able to. I've never been so smug to pass a course. Dreadful woman