Dating thread 159 - Should I Stay or Should I Go Now

[DaffoDeffo]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Thanks all. I do know you talk sense. It is him lifegoes and the connection I feel we have. I've not had this with anyone else before. But there is something lacking and my insecurity keeps edging away at me. Which isn't healthy

Thanks for all being supportive. I think I'll need to call on you all over the next week or two as this unfolds xx

@Notcoolmum maybe you need to grab control on the situation and actually address your concerns with him. I'm not sure if you have?

But the more you don't, the more you maybe pushing him away anyway.

I'm sat watching station 19 and there's a guy on there. He's my idol man!!

I just keep sitting thinking why can't I have someone like that, someone who just grabs his woman. Goes for her and is all in. Why am I sat here on my own. 😫

Commiserations notcool and life I am also sitting here on my own right now!

Pondering over what I'm doing/am going to do about my situation. Just feeling fed up today.have been 'off' for the past week or so

I'm also sat here tonight thinking why the f**k do we put our selves through this shit, OLD is just brutal.

We are alone together. 🍷🧁

What a bunch we are! At least we have each other.

Which sounds strange but it's nice to have people to talk to, who know how it's feels.

I'm bored already of the apps, I'm getting matched and they are talking to me. But I'm just all "I wish these would bore off"

I hate knowing what I want from someone in away, as I end up just bored of some men

@lifegoes so have also been back on the apps. A few matches on Tinder but only one messaging but he’s not grabbing me and my hearts not in it enough to try any harder and a few matches on Bumble but I am not in the right frame of mind to send any first messages (don’t know why I’m even on there to be honest). Urgh.

Alone together I like that!Yep feeling alone right now for sure. Asserting boundaries in a fair non-accusatory way and getting a pity-party in response.🤦‍♀️

sunshine it really is shit sometimes isn't it!

@Sunshineandflipflops I was like that after my ex but I just kept swiping. I don't know if you can remember when I first joined and I went on a date came home and cried as he wasn't my narcissist ex!! 🙄. But from advice on here I just kept swiping, sending pathetic hello messages and suddenly I got a few back that suddenly caught my attention.

(Yeah they amounted to nothing, but they were what my mind needed to move on)

That's what I'm waiting for now, someone to grab my attention.

What's happened @CocoKoko123 I feel as if I've missed some posts from you?

life I don't think you have missed any of my posts - I've been reading thread daily but just checking in with non-outing posts which probably don't make a lot of sense.had a lot of wobbles in my 'relationship' - don't know wtf is going on or what to do any more about any of it.

I feel like I'm going to have the period from hell. I know it's just the HRT patch kicking in but I'm really not feeling it today. I've called off MrWow coming over tomorrow night as I've just not got anything of myself to give. He's totally understanding and it is just a blip but I can't help feeling bad. I was in perimenopause over 10 yrs ago when trying to get pregnant so I guess this sudden surge of hormones has knocked me for six! Do any of you ladies think your feeling of apathy towards dating/dates is linked to your hormone cycle?

too no I think my lack of apathy is due to a lack of any decent men in the dating pool!😆

Coco awww ok. Hope you are ok?

God I do worry now, as I've posted so much on these dating pages I've probably outed myself completely.

Too mine is overdue so it probably Is that. Hope you are ok 😘

Why are you all feeling so down?

Well I decided to stop taking my pill on Monday after MrSAS and I ended as I don’t like putting hormones into my body unnecessarily and I can’t see me having a sex Life for a while (especially not without condoms) and now I have cramps and am spotting but I only had my period last week
Another thing I can blame on him.

@Ash559 think we are all just feeling the loneliness and the disappoint of OLD

Yep ash agree with life's sentiments.just sick of getting hopes up only to have them dashed

Yep ash agree with life's sentiments.just sick of getting hopes up only to have them dashed

Are you ok @CocoKoko123. If you’re worried about outing yourself but want to talk anything through in more detail, you could PM me (I’m sure others would be happy to talk it through in PM too).

Sorry about the hormone-related problems @TooOldForThis67. Female hormones are crap. I have a mirena coil, so I don’t bleed but I still know when I’m ovulating or when I would have had a period. And it definitely does make me less reasonable (I think it may explain my morning of overthinking about MrSG pinching some chocolate that I bought).

That said, I think @CocoKoko123 is right that hormones could only scratch the surface of why OLD inspires apathy. 😂

Sorry to hear about the period pains too @Sunshineandflipflops. I hate periods. I’m so glad that I don’t have them any more (thanks to the coil). I do still get some very minor cramping etc, but I don’t have to deal with the actual period.

I love the coil for the same reason crustaceans. And also happy to talk over DM coco

Thanks crust started typing a on but then gave up - couldn't even find the words lol but thank you x

Right I'm going to try and compose a brief pm guys as could do with your advice