My bf of a few months was hoovered by his ex

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

So I had to leave. I'd only been with him a few months. We are both over 50 and seemed to get on so well. I liked him a lot, but long story short, is that she sent him a message and within 2 sentences he said he thought if her everyday and that he loved her.

He showed me the conversation. I didn't snoop. But once I read what he said to her I took my things and left. I didn't say anything or look at him. There was no drama, no flouncing, no slamming doors. I just left.

I'm not sure why I'm posting but I do know I'm sad about it.

Wow, basically saying you can never be his "true" love and also clearly wheedling for contact at the same time.

That's some top drawer headfucking.

He is trying to bait me, isn't he? Why not just fuck off and leave me alone. I've done him the courtesy of leaving him well alone.

I'm petty, I'd message back who's this? Then block and ignore

he said he will probably die cold and alone
Seriously?! trying to get you to feel bad for him. I'd reply with ' yeah you probably will, never mind. Bye!'

he said he will probably die cold and alone

Tell him to get some Alsatians, then he'll be warm and not alone until they eat him.

Seriously though, he's realised Ms Eastern Europe doesn't really want him and he's trashed his relationship with a good woman cause he couldn't help himself indulging in mooning over her, even to you.

Why not just fuck off and leave me alone.

Cause he no longer has a real relationship with her, and now he has no relationship with you either .. he wasn't sure you were 190% serious until you nc'ed him for quite a few days.

He obviously does/did like you to find extent having been with you for a year, and you said you were going at it like bunnies the night before he showed you the messages and dropped himself in it. He's lonely and scared.

*100%, though 190 would be extra serious.

I could never understand what it was like between them

Aw what a special snowflake he he is, he experiences love and infatuation in a way that none of the rest of the planet does.

and that he doesn't think he could ever be in love again.

This guy is super good at shooting himself in the foot, isn't he. That's the least encouraging thing anyone could say to someone. "Our relationship will never be as special as mine with her, and I'll never love you". Meanwhile she's not with him because "her daughter doesn't like him", chooses to live in a different country and is hinting at wanting money off him. Sounds like Romeo and Juliet, right enough.

So he's delusional as we as a time waster, and self indulgent .. and self pitying.

• as well as

Oh please don’t message him back. That email from him is so messed up. I would have more respect if he had said - I am soooo sorry. I really miss you. I messed up.

But no what a messed up email.

You hit the nail on the head OP when you said it was a self indulgent email. The mail was about him, only him. Not even a reference to wonder how you were getting on, a good opportunity for him to say a simple sorry.

I told you about how I was treated previously. I received hundreds of mails telling me that I was ‘the one’ but he couldn’t be with me for reasons he couldn’t explain yet but one day would explain....... designed of course to keep me intrigued although in truth he didn’t want me at all. How he had no self confidence, was terrible at meeting women. During all these emails, he managed to meet a woman, have a baby with her and buy a big house with her.

IMO men like that need ego boosts and the ‘idea’ of love. But they don’t really care about the other person in the relationship. They are emotionally cold. In a way its a game for them.

The best thing you can do is not reply. If he ever meets someone else I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you have become his ‘’one’ for these men want a relationship only in their imagination.

Thank you again for all the encouragement. Moralitym1n1, you're extremely astute. We were together for about 5 moths, not nowhere near a year, but even so. I liked him.

Slipper, I really and truly hoped those emails have stopped! Hundreds of emails?? That's harassment pure and simple. He's nastier than I first thought.

I have no intention of replying to him. If I did, it would be thus:

Dear S
Fuck off
J***

Nothavingfunrightnow

I love your thread! I walked away from a year long relationship with a man I adored because he didn’t treat me well! It was sudden, like your ending! I sent a text saying that was it and I wouldn’t be contacting him again. I then blocked him on everything.

It’s hard and I feel broken, but I know, my future self will thank me - and your future self with thank you too!

Life is hard sometimes!

Thank you, Brokenpromisesorlies. That's kind of you to say and strong of you to do what you've done. Was it very recent? It does get easier. Thing is, this man I left COULD heal from his broken heart but he is choosing not to.

The bugger about having received the email from him is that I wonder if or when he will try to contact me again. But I know I'll eventually stop wondering and I'll eventually be stronger again. I've no doubt you'll be, too.

Outing, but when I first read this thread certain things really reminded me of my ex partner. He dated an Eastern European woman after me. And the sad woe is me emails about dying cold and alone but wishing you well are just like ones I was sent. And his name fits with the "Dear S**" and it's really freaked me out!

Don't think it is him, but very eerie.

You are well rid, OP. And you are very brave. Echo all PPs responses. Well done

pushingdaisies, his shortened first name has 5 letters in it and surname has 6 letters. I hope that's put your mind at ease x

And thank you for your support x

13 weeks

Brokenpromisesorlies, there will be a time when you would be unsure how long it was xxx