DH been accused, what should I do?

[Confused89899]

Nc'd for this. Received message today from husband of friend saying he had seen his wife and my DH playing footsie under table. He confronted her, she has denied it, says it was just something silly. Lots of alcohol involved, my DH was very drunk, I wasn't there. My DH read his message when it came through, tried to call him, he would only speak to me. This friend is convinced there's more to it, says they will both deny it, says he is devastated and it's the stuff that breaks marriages up.
My DH says he doesn't recall it, his foot could have possibly touched hers under the narrow table etc. Not acting at all guilty, wants to talk to them both, desperate to put husband straight and wants to talk face to face with him.
FWIW we have extremely solid relationship of 20 years and trust each other implicitly with everything and I truly believe DH would not have done this.
Wife is a school mum, kids good friends, all socialise a lot together, live close etc etc.
I don't know what to do....
Am I being stupid and in denial? Do I talk to the wife? Can we ever get over this in a friendship group even if it is a silly misunderstanding?
I don't know if there are any issues in this couples' marriage and whether the husband is looking for trouble.
Any advice/thoughts much appreciated, thank you.

God I don't know what to think but I would suspect their marriage is in difficulties if the husband is messaging you like this. Hard to just brush it under the carpet at this point, I think it's the end of the socialising between you all. No idea if your DH and the wife could have a thing going, it doesn't sound like it so I hope not!

Why would he say he saw that unless he actually did? I’d be inclined to believe him

He would have been drunk too though, the husband, so I can understand that he might think he saw something but it was just purely a brush of the foot.....
But yes, why message me about it?
Now I'm wondering if she was trying to play footsie and her husband knows this and that my drunken DH is being used as a scapegoat.
I can't see a way out of this...

It could be something and nothing, it could be the start of something or something could be going on. Their marriage is obviously struggling and having some experience of something similar I would now distance your families and not necessarily believe him but look out for other signs that something is going on.

she has denied it, says it was just something silly.

That sounds as though she, at least, was up to something.

She seems to know what happened.

What’s your view of this man? Is he the jealous, paranoid type?

Fwiw my instinct is to believe yout DH

Thank you, your thoughts are reassuring.
No idea really if he is the jealous type as actually he's extremely laid back about life in general but we have noticed he does what he likes, when he likes without much consideration for his wife..... so it's not really making a lot of sense.
Yes, I agree, sounds like she is saying something did happen..... perhaps more on her part, goodness I hope so.

Come on. You know better than this. There is no way on this planet that the OWs husband misinterpreted this and messaged you on that basis. No way at all.

We all know the difference between a kick under the table and footsie...

And smilingthroughtears I think you're right too, there's going to be an awful lot of awkwardness now and distance is inevitable....

Under the table where? What was the context?

The post I was dreading to hear...... so you think no smoke without fire?

Lots of alcohol involved, my DH was very drunk

Was he so drunk when he got home? Does he usually drink that much that he behaves out of character?

So despite alcohol your H says it was nothing and he may have brushed her foot.

she has denied it, says it was just something silly.

Strange that your DH has no recollection of it, yet she says it was just something silly.

Why would she say that if it was nothing at all.

It may be that they're not having an affair, but they flirt and fancy each other.

Can you think back to times they've been along together?

Sometimes looking back..it starts to add up.

I'm inclined to agree with Rumpole 😥

To go to the trouble of informing you, sounds more than an innocent clash of feet.

The 3 of them sitting at an open type breakfast bar at their house after a drunken night out.

I think it's odd the friend's dh didn't say something at the time, especially as drink loosens the inhibitions.

Trust your gut instinct, deep deep down you know how you feel and what you believe, you need to listen to it and act accordingly.

I feel sick at the thought of it. My DH drinks a lot (just socially) but has never acted out of character when this drunk (I'm usually there, this was a one off evening)

Matchsetpoint, my gut says he wouldn't in a million years do this.....

It would put doubt in my mind, being honest.

I caught two married friends (not to each other) doing this once on a night out. When I looked them in the eye and said "what's this all about then" they laughed and said I had an active imagination. Yes my imagination must have seen their cars parked side by side at a local beauty spot one summer evening after I'd had a late walk with the dog........

Why would this man go to the effort of contacting you if he wasn't genuinely upset/worried?

SandyY2K she doesn't drink a lot..... would not have been in same state of drunkenness as my DH

Ring the wife and get her side of it. Her husband may have slightly changed her words around - she could have said you are being silly or whatever. Ask her what she told her husband and why.

It could so easily be drunken paranoia on the part of the husband.

I’d give your DH benefit of the doubt if he doesn’t have previous. If you witness it yourself, well then you’ll know.

Well one things for sure, if anything was going on, he's put an end to it and your friendship with them is essentially over.

Sometimes in life, you'll never know the truth about this kind of thing.

he's extremely laid back about life in general but we have noticed he does what he likes, when he likes without much consideration for his wife.

Really odd, if he's so laid back usually. Has his wife ever complained about him doing what he likes, or is it just from your observation?

Maybe alcohol got the better of both of them.

Really difficult situation. How long after the incident did he text you?

That's what has thrown me, why on earth he would have contacted me about this. I get the feeling he strongly doesn't believe his wife or my DH. He wants to know if my DH has denied it, I haven't replied.
Could it be he can't bear the thought his wife would do this so wants to blame my DH too??