Would you be with someone who says being gay is unnatural?

[joliejoleen]

This man that I've been seeing thinks that being gay is unnatural. He wouldn't go out in the street and protest against gay people or ever attack them. He just thinks that being gay is unnatural and doesn't want his children to grow up thinking being gay is okay because it isn't. Would you ltb?

Nope.
Imagine if one of his children was to be gay.

When i was younger, i probably would have done, if i am honest. These days, i couldnt be bothered, and i would end things with him.

No. He’s wrong.

You have to work out what YOUR values are and then make a decision based on whether or not you think it's important for you to have similar values on the important topics. I wouldn't be with him because his statement highlights a core value of his that is too different from one of my own core values.

I live with a vegetarian, my partner lives with a meat eater. We've both decided that this difference is ok for us and therefore it's never a topic of frustration.

So, my question to you is, what are your core values and does his opinion sit comfortably within that?

Why are you even having to ask this?

So he thinks people choose to be gay?

Why does he think they would do that?

Just out of curiosity, how old is he?

You're basically asking "could you be with someone and condone their homophobia"?

Would you also need to ask this if they were racist, or sexist?

The question isn't whether other people could condone it, it's whether you are confident in following your instincts and making decisions about relationships? In my view anyway.

Get walking!

Nope, I wouldn't share my lunch with a bigot so definitely not my life.

I've just stopped seeing someone who has this opinion- my dd is gay but even if she wasn't, I wouldn't have continued seeing him.( and don't get me started on all his other bigoted, racial, misogynistic opinions )

I think I would ask why he thought like this before I made a decision whether to stay or not. Ie. Strong religious backgrounds, and try and explain why you thought differently.

No. Being gay is about who you love not who you f*ck - a fact that most homophobic heterosexual men overlook because they're obsessed with bum sex. You can't control who you love, whether you 'agree' with it or not! He's a knob.

Genuinely the last guy I was seeing said something almost identical, at first I brushed it off assuming it was either a bad joke or maybe he hadn't meant it the way it came out. Following several other bizarre comments including "women are boring after they've had babies and they have nothing else to talk about" he was swiftly booted back to the 50s.

Seriously though if you really like him talk to him about his opinion and why he feels like that?

Wtf. No

Nope. Couldn't be with someone with that view at all.

My first reaction when he said it was to tell him we're incompatible and can't continue being together. He said I was being unreasonable. That he isn't a homophobe, he just doesn't think it's natural. And that's what I wanted to know, whether I was being unreasonable to think that this isn't something you can get past.
He is 34

Nope. Given that my DD is gay, it would not be conducive to a healthy family dynamic. I could no more be with someone who is homophobic, than I could with someone who is xenophobic, Islamophobic, Anti-semitic, racist, or misogynist.

I would not want to be with someone that held those views. Apart from anything else, what if one of your children came out as gay in future?

Absolutely not.

No chance would I be in a relationship with someone with those views.

If he thinks it’s not natural that means he thinks people choose to be gay, if he is so convinced of that why doesn’t he prove it to the rest of the world by becoming gay for a bit.

If being gay was a choice no one would be gay!

What the hell does he think it is then? If not 'natural'?! It's as natural as being born heterosexual, asexual, brown haired, blue eyed, good at swimming, or any other physical characteristic!

Absolutely leave. Not only is he bigoted, he's also incorrect. Anything biologically possible is by definition 'natural'.

This would be a 100% deal breaker for me. What else is he bigoted about? Bigots like to bigot in my experience. I very much doubt homophobia is his only intolerance...

Bigots find various ways to try and justify or rationalise their bigotry. It's always flawed logic and they're still bigots regardless. The real stupidity of his argument though is that everything that occurs in nature is, by definition, natural. So he's not just an offensive bigot but a fecking eejit to boot (as is invariably the case).