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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The next stage of my life WILL be better...

998 replies

Dumbledior · 15/07/2007 19:49

New thread for me to moan...

OP posts:
Dior · 02/08/2007 23:33

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HappyDaddy · 02/08/2007 23:35

Don't be daft, it makes a nice change to post something other than the sarcastic drivel I usually come out with.

PS I havent been crying, I have something in my eye.

Dior · 03/08/2007 13:27

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kipperthedog · 03/08/2007 15:27

Good luck tonight Dior, thinking of you. Don't worry it may not be what you think esp as he said it wouldn't impact on your night.

Dior · 03/08/2007 16:01

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lou33 · 03/08/2007 16:05

i lost this thread dior, i'm really sorry to hear you have been going through this.

you know where i am , ok?

Dior · 03/08/2007 16:15

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lou33 · 03/08/2007 17:34

blimey not at all, never think that!

fawkeoff · 03/08/2007 18:16

hi dior....ive just read thid thread and i just wanted to give u my support for tonight "talk", i hope u wil be ok.I know this is a really sad time for u but i think that you will only be truly happy in yourself if ur with somebody who loves you regardless and treats u the way u deserve to be treated x

Dior · 03/08/2007 19:06

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fawkeoff · 03/08/2007 19:10

well whatever happens tonight good luck x

Dior · 03/08/2007 19:16

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lou33 · 03/08/2007 21:18

am on my way out but if you need me i will have my phone , ok?

BadPuppy · 03/08/2007 22:00

Hope your talk goes well tonight Dior.

You sound like such a lovely person but this situation really need sorting and you need to be strong to get through. I'm sure you can be.

sallysparrow · 03/08/2007 22:47

Oh Dior, I hope youre ok.

Let us know how you are when youre ready.

x

fawkeoff · 04/08/2007 08:56

hope your ok today x

Dior · 04/08/2007 09:32

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Anniegetyourgun · 04/08/2007 10:09

Ouch - but how very male, to say something they think is honest or even helpful and then not understand that it's incredibly hurtful. STBXH used to come out with "I don't need to think of anyone else because I remember how nice you USED to be"... and then expect me to be happy about it. At least yours apologised!

I do strongly agree with sallysparrow that he should get some help for his sexual hangups, but alas, that's usually the last thing a man will get help for because he would have to admit there was a problem. Obviously there cannot be anything wrong with him in that department because it would hit right at what he feels makes him a man, so it must be your fault. Silly, I know, because anyone can get a problem with any part of themselves and it doesn't make them less of a worthwhile human being, but men's love affairs with their bits is something I'll never understand. Perhaps a sex counsellor would, if it's not something the GP can help with.

One thing your H seems to have a fair point about is that the counsellor does seem to have taken sides. It is not a counsellor's job to judge between partners. He may fancy you or liken you to his younger sister or something, but whatever it is, and however good for your ego, it's worryingly unprofessional. OK, your H wouldn't be happy with any counsellor who doesn't agree that you are being silly and what a wonderful partner he is, but perhaps you should meet his concerns halfway by trying someone else.

fawkeoff · 04/08/2007 10:45

does he not expect u to change after 19 and a child together????????,when i met dp i was a nice size ten.....6 years and 2 kids later im a size 16 and there are few parts of my body that doesnt have a stretch mark on.How does he expect you to feel good within urself if he cant make u feel beautiful and wanted??????has his appearance not changed since uve been together???

Dior · 04/08/2007 11:49

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Turquoise · 04/08/2007 12:07

Oh Dior how hurtful.

How do you feel now though - in that you were feeling terrified that he was going to end things? Relieved or disappointed?

If your gaining weight is a 'lack of respect' towards him, what the hell does he think his attitude to you is?? Am gobsmacked.

I agree with Annie about the counsellor, but don't know if anyone is ever going to get through to him about the loving you whatever your physical appearance, which seems to be the crux.

fawkeoff · 04/08/2007 12:35

i am in utter disbelief at the respect/weight issue.It seems to me like he is punishing you for putting weight on,how can he expect you to repect him when he is behaving in this manner and hurting your feelings like that.can u honestly forgive this man for treating you like a piece of dirt?????.Does he not realise that every hurtful thing he says to about your weight makes u want to eat for comfort?????.

Dior · 04/08/2007 16:13

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fawkeoff · 04/08/2007 16:32

i feel sorry that u've been made to feel so hurt dior.....what are ur going to do about this situation though.x

Dior · 04/08/2007 17:36

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