The next stage of my life WILL be better...

[Dumbledior]

New thread for me to moan...

Hi Dior,

I'm back at work so sneaking a look at MN when I should be catching up on a week's worth of emails .

We ALL wish you the strength to do what you need to. It IS hard to end a marriage when your partner is not being overtly horrible. Goodness knows, I could have been in a similar situation as my ex was a good father and a good man - I could easily have remained married to him, unhappy and having my occasional fling with dp. I felt such a coward for letting it drag on and looked forward to a 'contented' old age of not having lived my life as I'd really wanted. If ex-h hadn't confronted me and left, it would probably have gone on that way. But in my mid-40s, life really began. And even though we've had our problems with dp's depression, I don't regret making the change - and dd seems happy with it now, which is most important. It's NEVER too late to make a fresh start. It's scary, yes, but you CAN do it.

Incidentally, dp was so happy when I visited him last week, we had a really nice week together - seems that all we need is for him to be in regular work, to keep the depression at bay. Pity he's an actor then! I told him that it was like having the old him back .

I've just read through all of your thread from before I went away. Really, I do think your h is playing SUCH games with your head - and he's obviously done it for as long as you've been together . No, he's not a nice person, not really. At least, he's not a nice person to you. He belittles you and twists your every action and then is just nice enough to stop you making that final break. It's a game and he's an expert. I DO hope you find that strength. Perhaps now that the ADs are working might be the right time...

Try doing some practical stuff - look into your finances, consult a solicitor - whilst DS is young, you should not have to leave your home. The only proviso might be that you have to sell up or buy out your share when DS reaches 18 or leaves full time education. You're already doing a job that you enjoy, so you can build on that for the future, plus you have your artistic skills that you already sell to magazines, and that might be something to build on. You've probably got lots of potential for earning a decent salary. If you can take the financial fear out of your situation, do you think that would make it easier to broach the subject?

Do you work on Fridays? I am free on Tuesdays or Fridays, so we could perhaps start planning that meetup if you do. Else I might be able to change my Monday to a Tuesday.

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Well, I can certainly try swapping my days so I have a Monday free - perhaps sometime before halfterm - it would be good to meet at last.

No, I don't mean that he's horrible - but he does sound like he has a lot of issues of his own that have been dragged into your relationship - his controlling behaviour seems symptomatic of that - and his denial that he might just have a part to play in the unhappiness of your marriage. I just mean that he is not good for you and he's not nice to you in the way you need or deserve - he doesn't seem to support you in what YOU are happy with - friends, work, hobbies - it all has to go his way. (I still think he has issues from losing his mother).

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• but then, he's an adult now and should be open to moving onward and upward - otherwise he'll have to stay static without you.

Any news of a new Relate session yet?

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wtf dior? why couldnt he just have popped out to put it away to save you getting dressed?

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tell him it's because you hate the smell of disapproval coming from him

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i'd have gone out and moved it in my jamas or just left it tbh, if it bothered him that much he could have moved it

am worried he is training ds into a mini him too, will he grow up to behave the same way?

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lol do it

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i'm good thanks, when will you be on msn?

hey chick

just got back online from sunny felixstowe.... will try and catch up soon, not sure monday will happen - will have to talk to dad about subbing me some cash = benefits are taking the piss big time!

Take care xxx

Hi Dior - he asked DS to REMIND you to put the car away? For GAWD's SAKE !!!!!

I'd worry, like Lou, that he's making a mini-me out of DS - oh dear, he had to put some clothes on - too much! .

Sorry to hear Relate messed up. Hope you're having another good day at work.

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ok will look out for you

Ok mate, will try and make it - what time and where?

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