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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The next stage of my life WILL be better...

998 replies

Dumbledior · 15/07/2007 19:49

New thread for me to moan...

OP posts:
MascaraOHara · 17/08/2007 10:34

Dior, how long have you been on ADs for? I was on them 4 ~6months last year and it took a while for me to settle into the whole concept but to be honestly I think they really helped me. I took Citalopram and by the end of the 6 months I was forgetting to take them.

Is your concern about your weight valid? or do you think it's another symptom of feeling a bit rubbish atm?

Dior · 17/08/2007 13:26

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MascaraOHara · 17/08/2007 14:16

Of Dior, I'm sorry you're having such a crap time at the minute.

Do you get much/any exercise? I find that going to the gym a few times a week even if only for 30mins or so really does wonders for my mood.. It helps keeps me on a more even level emotionally.. I haven't been at all in the last month or so and I can feel myself slipping as well as my energy levels dropping and my eating habits getting worse. That said it's not for everyone - some people I know hate gyms but I just found the more I went the more I enjoyed it.. to start with it was a drag.

How's things with h?

Dior · 17/08/2007 16:11

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MascaraOHara · 17/08/2007 16:25

I know but for as long as you can force yourself do it.. That said I need to force my sorry ass back to gym - and pronto!

HappyDaddy · 17/08/2007 16:28

Kicking him in the cock would be good leg excercise.

Dior · 17/08/2007 16:31

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HappyDaddy · 17/08/2007 16:35

True. I just needed an excuse to say it.

Dior · 17/08/2007 16:36

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Paddlechick666 · 17/08/2007 18:25

I definately think we need a "Kick Him in The Cock!" thread.

In fact I may start one once dd has had her bath and is in bed.

Dior · 19/08/2007 10:19

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Dior · 19/08/2007 22:07

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Tanee58 · 20/08/2007 14:03

Hi Dior,

I'm back! Norfolk was iffy weatherwise but apart from being caught on the beach in a thunderstorm, which was a very elemental experience, there was enough sunshine to keep me happy and I came home with lots of books (good 2nd hand bookshop there) and visited a lot of pretty churches (one of which had a help yourself tea table).

DP was working most of the time, but we had three nights together and I was able to watch three shows - all sell-outs. Very romantic nights, things are so much better when he's working, and he drinks less as he has to work . One thing I was on edge about - he has a friend there whom he met when he worked at the same theatre many years ago. What I didn't know, was that they had a brief 'thing' in 1990 - but I guessed within 5 minutes of meeting her as she was very cool towards me and gave him a huge, almost snoggish hug after the show - which he admitted he'd found quite inappropriate as it was in front of the entire cast and me. She really seemed to be trying to claim her 'territory' and I decided not to rise to it. When I quizzed him later, he told me all quite openly, said it was just a summer fling that was not continued afterwards, but that since he went to Norfolk this year, she's been a bit clingy even though she knows about us, and that he feels he has to extricate himself from the friendship but doesn't want to hurt her by doing it too suddenly and obviously - she's divorced, no kids, on ADs and obviously hasn't moved on. I trust him, but I do feel my hackles rise when, as yesterday, he says he's spent the afternoon watching cricket on her cable TV (at least he's not lodging with her - I'd have to put my foot down if he was). However, I'm not going to go on about it as he can't avoid meeting her (she works in the theatre some evenings) and he's only got another month there. Also, I really don't think he wants to revive anything with her. It still makes me feel uneasy though. I know a lot of his female friends are old girlfriends, and yet I don't have a problem with any of them as we all get on. I do with her - probably because I sensed a hostility and possible unfinished business on her side.

Anyway, enough of me - Dior, glad you had a good day in London - I love the Eye - have been on it twice in daylight and darkness, both spectacular. Pity H let himself down in the evening. How are things today?

Dior · 20/08/2007 16:11

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Dior · 20/08/2007 19:24

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TotalChaos · 20/08/2007 22:26

been thinking about today. not got any thing more constructive to say than it all sounds so GRIM! have your counsellors had any useful input on the sex/weight issue, as that does seem central to the relationship problems.

Dior · 21/08/2007 09:24

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Dior · 21/08/2007 21:04

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BadPuppy · 21/08/2007 21:18

Your choice Dior, but I would let H take DS away on his own for the holiday.

A week's break for both of you from the constant bickering can surely only be a good thing? If anything, you can see more clearly from a bit of a distance how you feel.

Btw, have you had your thyroid checked? Just wondered as I have an underactive thyroid and the weightgain, depression, breathlessness can be indicative of thyroid problems. Not sure if you have had this done but was thinking you sound a lot like I was before mine was diagnosed.

Dior · 21/08/2007 21:30

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Dior · 21/08/2007 21:31

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Dior · 21/08/2007 21:31

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BadPuppy · 21/08/2007 22:31

I understand that makes you feel really bad.

Please get your thyroid checked. It may not be the problem but from what you are saying about your weight going up at a rate of knots it is possible. Unless you are living in the chipshop.

Doctor tried to treat me for depression on more than one occasion (I was tired, weepy, gaining weight, painful periods and lots of other "minor" ailments). I KNEW I wasn't depressed just felt so down BECAUSE I felt so crap not the other way round IYKWIM. Struggled to get that message over to doctor though.

Eventually, I insisted on blood test for thyroid (my mum had recently been diagnosed) and hey ho it came back negative. Didn't actually jump up and down and say "I told you so" at doctors as didn't have the energy then as felt so rubbish. Have been taking the tablets for 18 months now and feel so much better.

Sorry if you feel I am going off on a tangent here and not helping you. Just feel you should get that checked.

And please stop beating yourself up. You sound like such a lovely, loving mum you are just in a bad place right now.

Dior · 21/08/2007 22:34

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Tanee58 · 22/08/2007 15:01

Oh Dior, that's so sad about ds - but I do think you could probably do with some time on your own - it'll give h and ds a chance to do some bonding - sounds like they would benefit from it - and it will give you some well-earned rest!

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