The next stage of my life WILL be better...

[Dumbledior]

New thread for me to moan...

You feel like this because you are not ready for the decision yet. When the time is right you will find the words and the strength to carry it through. Well, that's what I found happened with me.

H's behaviour veers from one thing to another, not surprised you feel like you don't know whether you're coming or going.

Stop being so hard on yourself!

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You mustn't ever worry that you're boring us - we're all here to help each other out with a listening ear.

D was probably right about G - it's a lot of pressure. Anyway, think of him as eye candy for now.

I can see why H is confusing you - but seems like he wants it all ways - makes a gesture but finds it hard to follow through.

I'm leaving for Norfolk in a little while, so won't be online for a few days. Bugger, it's raining - so much for my sunny week at the seaside. Hope things go well with you and shall catch up with you at the weekend.

xxx

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Hi. How are you?

Totally agree with you - I hate all that playing games rubbish! I'm not willing to learn the rules!!

(H and I have got our regular relate appointment - wednesday evenings. Too little too late I think! But will go and see if we can get some answers... )

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don't learn the rules, make them!

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hey Dior, just back online again as now back at work after long weekend.

Checking in to say hi and see how things are with you..

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Both going together Dior - hopefully!

PC I like the idea that we can make the rules - easier said than done though!

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Don't beat yourself up. Try and be kind to yourself. Can you get some time to do aomething you enjoy?

Thanks

Not sure we do both want it anymore (I had a date on Saturday - but I will tell you about that off here!)

But I wonder if we're both way past the point of saving things now. Am seeing the counselling as positive either way - no matter what happens we need to learn what went wrong, and if we do walk away from this relationship for good I hope one day we can look back at the last 14 years positively. And unless we get some help I can't see that ever happening!

As for people being sick of you on here - never! You take all the time you need to make your decision. These aren't decisions you can make overnight. And all the support you give others on here far outweighs the support you get in return.
People are more happy to listen and to help. I for one, want so much to see you settled and happy - whatever you decide

"As for people being sick of you on here - never! You take all the time you need to make your decision. These aren't decisions you can make overnight. And all the support you give others on here far outweighs the support you get in return.
People are more happy to listen and to help. I for one, want so much to see you settled and happy - whatever you decide " by Baffy 14th Aug 11:04

Couldn't agree more!

I want to know about Baffy's date

very briefly... a guy I met a few weeks ago when out with my friend. Friend gave him my number (I admit I did want her to!) and he was in touch ever since asking if he could take me out.

Met him for dinner last week but just wasn't really in the right frame of mind at all. (Am still not!) Then he asked to meet again, and Saturday I knew I was out anyway, so decided I'd meet up with him later on and see what happens.

He was just as gorgeous as the first time I met him! Get butterflies every time I think about him! We had a great laugh, too much alcohol, lots of chatting and dancing...
He wants to see me again this week

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right:-
the G situation - stereotypically - men are more able to compartmentalize love and sex than women - doesn't make a woman weird or "heavy" - just one of those things.

the AD's situation - it's a bit of a vicious circle in your postings - the more depressed you are, and worse you feel about yourself, the more you are inclined to go off ADs in case they are contributing to your weight. If you really are swelling by the day, you need to see your GP! otherwise sounds like you are overly conscious about your body.

and why is the weight issue so important? is it just because you define your attraction to others and therefore your self-esteem by your weight?

I used to be mummytosteven btw, just in case you wonder who is haranguing you

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Oh Dior it sounds like a vicious circle at the moment

I have no idea about AD's so ignore me if I'm talking rubbish, but any way you can speak to your GP about changing them if you think they are part of the problem. I know you said you're thinking of stopping them altogether, but could that just make things worse if you're not ready to stop?

Please don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. We can't live our lives comparing ourselves and our problems to others. All we can do is deal with the cards that are dealt to us. Peter and Misdee's story does put things into perspective - life's too short and that's for sure. But it doesn't trivialise what you are going through at all. You're having a nightmare time and trying to make the hardest decision of your life.

And to make matters a million times worse you are not happy with yourself - but I worry that it's H's influence that's making you think that being bigger means you are not attractive and destined to be in a sexless marriage. Most people I know would not think that way at all! And I don't think you would feel that way either if it wasn't for H making you feel like that

Perhaps if he was telling you every day how beautiful and sexy you are, then that would give you the confidence and incentive to get to the weight you want to be...
And if he can't do that, then surely you deserve someone who will...
I wish I could meet him and beat some sense into him!!! (Not literally of course!)

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