Am I being played for a fool or would you see this as normal?

[SteggaSaw]

dp and I went away for a few nights last week. It was great fun, as it always is when we're together. But I needed to have a chat with him because we haven't been managing to see each other a lot for one reason or another (we've only managed to see each other a few times a month for the last few months).

Over the course of the last few weeks, on messaging, he has referred to my house as our house, he has found a few events that he thought we would like to go to together and booked them, he has spoken about how much he loves me and how amazing it is to be with someone who totally gets him. These 'loving' messages don't happen every time we speak, I'd say once a week (I'm not complaining about that, just putting it into context).

But in between these, it's like I'm talking to a different person. I don't know what he was doing this weekend (we went away Thurs/Fri - we don't live together) but from Saturday midday till Monday mid morning, I didn't hear from him at all and when I did hear from him today, it was a very short 3 word message. I replied with a question about how his weekend was and I've heard nothing since. His phone is often off completely for a whole day (I can tell as when I message on whatsapp, they aren't delivered).

It is almost as though when he's there he's uber present, full of the right words and actions and then he totally disappears. It's starting to unnerve me a bit and I hate to say it, making me slightly suspicious which I know is an awful thing to be and I'm very much not like that at all.

We have had the exclusivity chat a while ago (months ago). Am I being too over suspicious or would this get you going?

Yeah this is just weird. He’s not that into you sadly. In the early days is when you’re both struggling to keep your hands off each other, desperate to see each other, both trying to play it at least a bit cool and not come on too strong but also finding any excuse you can to meet up. The best relationships I’ve had have started like that, both confessing you think you’ve fallen in love within the first 2-3 months, trying to go at a reasonable pace but struggling cos you’re so besotted you can’t stop thinking about being back in bed together lol.

This pace doesn’t necessarily mean he’s married or taken but it does say a lot about his interest level.

Also... multiple kids with different mothers? Sounds a bit of a commitmentphobe/bit flaky, bit of a mess to be getting involved with. Raise your standards definitely. Find yourself a guy who’s so excited to see you you’re meeting 2-3 times per week and who doesn’t have multiple families on the go already.

Toss this one back into the ocean :)

^^ This
Aside from anything else, a man who has 3 kids from several different relationships and still lives in a flatshare doesn’t exactly sound stable.