Dating thread 153- The adventures of... [Title edited at OP's request]

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

Hello peeps,

My irons :

Mr Tall - loads weirdly in common, date arranged for this week. Only he has 8month kid. Says left because of domestic violence towards him. I'm thinking whether to bother given sounds like drama.

MrRepair - had great date last week but just banter and no mention of next date. He is the one with a very serious illness so I believe that is weighing on his mind and ideally he wants someone closer.

MrADHD - just a buddy but he has offered sex on a plate if I want it. Noseyness has made me arrange a meeting next week.

MrTravel - newish but always travelling for work but might be interesting....

shitwith help me!!! What do I do? He hasn’t seen her message but I told him he has a message from her on Fab. He is at work. Shall I message him and say I now feel sick about it please don’t meet her? Lay my cards on the table?
But then I know he doesn’t want exclusivity and we really can only see each other every few weeks gahhhhhh

Marlboro
Can you message her and tell her you regret it and ask her to delete her message?

I think you should lay your cards in the table and be honest with him if you cant get her to delete the message - if they meet you will be so gutted.

But I asked him first if I should reccommend him to her and he said yes and I already told him she has messaged him...what a stupid stupid cow I am. What was I thinking?

You know it was self-sabotage so its learning not to do it again....

Is he testing you by telling you to pass on his details or does he really not give a shit about your feelings?

I agree @Marlboroandmalbec34 I think you need to show him your hand otherwise you will never know, and you will be gutted if they meet.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I think best to run that kind of thing past the thread in future!

Joking apart, he agreed to be introduced, so he is up for it whether they meet or not. If you are seeing him on a non exclusive basis, then from a man's point of view, that is very black and white. He will take you at your word. If you want it to be exclusive, but it is known to be non exclusive, you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. He can't fix this for you. She can't fix this for you. Only you can fix this for you.

Marlboro no no no! Maybe ask him not to meet her - say you are really uncomfortable about it.

Just found Mr Outdoors Facebook profile and I am not sure that I fancy him. I was having doubts anyway to be honest. I think I am doing that self sabotage thing too. He is coming round tomorrow afternoon so I am trying not to panic too much. Meanwhile I have been messaging loads of guys on POF and Tinder. A few responses but they really are lame. Just been asked if I own my own house ffs.

sorting it not sure. We are FWB we do see others and will tell each other about our dates.
I guess I would like it to be exclusive BUT it wouldn’t work for either of us as we live too far apart and our diaries don’t work well

30something I can show him my hand but it still won’t work between us so it’s almost pointless

drummer you are so right on all your points

Thanks everyone. I am a twat!

Marlborough let the chips fall where they may. You obviously wanted something to make a decision for you and you are strong and can handle the result whatever it is.

azzizam thank you. I think you’re right

Hallelujah. He just messaged me that she is boring!! Hoooray
I am not bloody doing that again

@JeSuisPrest Crikey you are learned doffs ginger facial hair if such a thing can be doffed in tribute My schoolboy French didn't go back that far !

Marlboro That is but hopefully ok now. It seems clear he is not wanting exclusivity but you can maybe now ask him if anyone compares to you and lead into that talk that you really must have for your own sake.

I know I know hairy anyway it seems he is staying in tonight to play message tennis with me - hooray and I am seeing him next week and yes we might need to have a bit of a talk

@Marlboroandmalbec34 no doubt it it a relief but the bigger issue remains you're right back in the comfort zone... And surely there is nothing more dangerous than the comfort zone. Everyone will be here to support you, no matter what, but I think you really need to be honest with him and be honest with yourself about what you want.

Sorry, cross posted. Don't mean to be nagging you !

@Marlboroandmalbec34 crikey. That's all I can say! Next time make sure you get a babysitter or let him sort out his own needs....

@HairyArsedMan didn't you say you get hardly any matches? But clearly you're getting attention in the supermarkets... so come off the apps and spend more time shopping. Maybe try Waitrose next time if you want someone classy... I am Aldi to the core. Seriously maybe your photos are rubbish if you actually get real life attention? Another big ginger facial hair fan here. Maybe you're just on the wrong apps?

@30somethingandsingle I think the entire thread is nervous about your date tonight!!

Been off here awhile so just catching up.

Quick question would you trust a guy who keeps switching off his phone at random times. He says his battery died but he’s at home and it goes off for a few hours?

Thanks mrdrummer you are right and it has maybe been a wake up call for me!

I'm the shittest person with my phone lifegoes like genuinely the shittest. I've been known to go out the whole day and forget my phone at home. I have to say it's never really off though 🤷. How do you know he's switching it off? And how often?

Haha sorry for the scare shitwith I think I am overinvested in you and Mr Rugby too

Miracle so the other night we were messaging on WhatsApp and the messages stopped getting delivered 1 tick. Around 10pm I didn't think anything of it and then he replied at midnight saying his phone died and he only just charged it.

Yesterday same happened and he said, battery died yet I knew he was in the house - 5pm switched it back on a few hours later

Now today same happens in the middle of a conversation it goes to one tick. He just told me he was home

Seems bizarre, it's only just started happening.