37 weeks and my boyfriend just said

[brexitisamare]

He will "smash my face in".

He's playing a game online downstairs, fine. But he was screaming at it and it woke me up so I text him asking him to please keep it down.

He text me back telling me to "fuck off".

So I turned the WiFi off (it's in our bedroom). Quite childish of me now I look back but I was absolutely furious at being woken up and told to fuck off when I hadn't actually done anything wrong.

He came banging up the stairs, punched the bedroom door and said "if you ever do that again I will smash this whole house up and I'll smash your face in".

And he turned it back on, slammed the door, said something about wishing we weren't having our baby and now he's back downstairs playing whatever he's playing and I'm sat in bed shaking.

I realise my behaviour here was a bit childish but surely nothing warrants that? I don't think he will come back up or do anything providing I don't touch the internet (I'm not going to move now at all).

He's quite a calm person and I guess I've seen him angry before but nothing like this and he's never threatened me before. I cannot believe that's just happened. I don't even know why I'm posting I just don't know what to do now I'm sat here shaking and trying to calm myself down as I am heavily pregnant with this horrible mans child.

I can't leave because I don't have anywhere to go at this hour and to be honest the thought of having to go downstairs right now petrifies me.

I guess I just need a handhold here 😞

You have to leave. Babies have died when abusive men have lost their tempers. Of course it will be hard but you will get help and support. Do this for your baby and yourself. He's a dangerous man.

If you don't want to call the police, then call your midwife asap. She can provide support.

If he's like this now, he'll be worse when the baby arrives. Give yourself and your new baby a fresh start full of love and kindness.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck with the birth.

Is this the first time he has done this?.
Has his gaming increased, while you were pregnant?
Can you talk to his mum?

I'm sitting here in the morning, and thinking that the you could quite easily be in labour at 37 weeks. What would have happened if you had had to go into hospital and "disturbed" his game. It doesn't hear thinking about. You really need to leave. Take care 💐

What's he going to do when the baby is crying in the middle of the night and he can't concentrate on his game? Yeah this is a recipe for disaster and a huge red flag

I meant to add, although I'd be surprised if it hasn't already been mentioned...
It's a criminal offense for him to behave like that and if you contacted the police they would do something about it. Which you should do in case he's not happy to let you go.
But your main focus should be on securing safe accommodation without him. Immediately.

I agree with everyone else.

It also sounds like he isn’t ready for fatherhood. Who says “bore off” when you exitedly show the baby clothes? Good fathers would make a constructive comment at the very least.

I would seriously consider having this relationship living apart. From experience a baby on your own is much much easier than one with a second child ( which he effectively is). You will be scared, resentful and miserable on a daily basis with him. Move out, let him see his child and you to whatever degree you want and raise your child in safety.

If you have your own place you can turn offf the WiFi whenever you want.

I really do appreciate everyone means well, but can we stop telling the OP what to do, and support her in working this through, instead? A woman living with an abusive man is already well used to being told what she must and must not do, and honestly, she has to be the one to do anything. She needs to feel some control. I know the horror people feel here is for her, and the aim is to help her, but trying to say what she must do isn't going to do that. And it may mean she doesn't feel able to talk here any longer, either. Which would be totally counter productive.

OP, please do talk to the professionals, and let them support you in making choices over what you want to happen now. You shouldn't have to contend with any of this - pregnancy, your partner and his behaviour, the choices ahead - alone, and there are people whose literal job it is to help you. Nobody's going to force you into anything, but they can let you know what your options actually are, if you decide to leave and bring your baby back to a new nest, where you can feel confident and safe.

I haven't mentioned family, in case yours aren't likely to be any support. But if you do get on with your Mum, this is a prime occasion when her support and help would be ideal.

He wont change, if he has it in him to say that then he will say and do other things aswel.i know how hard it is especially when your pregnant.you cant leave I understand that. Just please don't waste any more tears over him,keep yourself calm and remember you and the baby are the most important thing, not him!!

Can people please stop appointing themselves as comment monitors? No one is telling the OP what to do, at all. It is called offering advice, which is, after all, why the OP posted. I have yet to see one person demand the OP do anything.

Go to your Mums now OP and leave him for good.
Hes not going to be able to cope with a screaming crying baby is he? When people show you who they are then believe them the first time.
If you are too scared to leave the house then contact the police to get you out.X

Just read this this morning and my heart sank when I saw you haven't yet updated. I do hope you're ok and have taken the excellent advice on board from this thread and ignored the bickering.

I've been exactly where you were last night, terrified to turn the light off, make a noise or do anything that might antagonise and it's hell.

Some people don't find this out about their partner until later but you have a chance to change things now x

Hope you are ok. I don’t care how hyped up someone is, telling a pregnant woman he’s going to smash her face in shows he is a monster. WiFi shouldn’t be that important to ANYONE. And all the rest. Just wanted to be another voice confirming that this stuff can come out during pregnancy and you can’t have predicted it so it isn’t your fault or an error in your judgement. Knowing what I know now, I’d say leave before your baby is born. Hoping you are alright xxx

I have been where you are, please leave and protect yourself and your baby

Morning OP.
Firstly you sound like a lovely, well balanced, considered and decent lady and like you will be a fabulous mum.
Please don't choose to stay because you feel trapped. There are always other alternatives and whilst they might in the short term feel difficult, not be perfect etc, they will in the medium to long term allow you to raise your daughter in a safe, empowered and loving environment.
It's a sad fact that the arrival/imminent arrival of a baby forces men (and of course some women) to show their true colours. Aside from his gaming addiction he threatened you - the woman he chose to have a baby with and then he went on to say that he didn't want this baby. You have all the answers you need. And actually this won't be you making the decision, he has already made it but like a man-child he's doing absolutely nothing about it and landing that responsibility at your doorstep.
Do you have parents who would help you with the rent after you kick him out? Alternatively can you move in with someone else and contact your agents to get yourself off the tenancy?
You and your daughter come first.
Good luck OP

Are you ok?
I really think you shouldn't be with him. Please leave and keep you and your baby safe. He will be a shit father, you can tell from what he's said already.

OP this is horrible. None of this is your fault. Asking someone to turn the noise down is no excuse for such a vicious abusive response. Can you go to your parents' house? Siblings? A friend? Your first priority is to take care of you and the baby. Everything else will work out in time...

A loving partner wouldn't treat you like that. Can you stay with your mum? A friend?

You didn’t deserve for him to wake you up, telling you to fo was beyond awful, and threatening to smash your face in was criminal.

Think how proud you will be with yourself looking back if you get yourself away from this man. I know that’s complicated. I know you might still need to deal with him because he is the father of your child. But you will be safer not with him.

I would write down or report what happened, in case you need future evidence of threatening behaviour. Best luck, you are much better than this man.

@brexitisamare I could smash every electronic item my partner owns. In front of him. Whilst giving him the finger. And he'd be quite rightly furious! But he would never threaten to lay a hand on me.

This is a completely unacceptable action, at any time, at any stage of gaming, at any stage of drunkenness. He has punched a door, threatened to smash your face in and said he wishes you weren't having a baby. You need to listen to his words. Find somewhere safe to stay as soon as possible, and seriously consider the safety of you and your baby if you stay in this relationship.

OP.

He WILL do it again.

Op your post made me feel very frightened for you, l hopw you are safe this morning.

What sar302 said. A non-violent, decent man would never, in a million years, threaten that. You should never be afraid in a healthy relationship.

Wishing you strength and a safe way out.

Don't wait for him to do this again, don't dismiss it as a "one off", don't make excuses for him "He's normally lovely". Get the hell out.

You can text 999, you don't need to call them, if that is your concern. Text 'register' to 999 and follow the instructions that follow. They can help to remove you from this situation, or remove him.

Get out now. If you have nowhere to go, go to your nearest police station, tell them what happened, and refuse to leave until you are helped / sheltered somewhere.

The thing is, in a few weeks time, your baby will cry. There will be occasions when your baby cries loudly, for quite a long time, and you won’t really know why she’s doing it or how to stop her. It’s inevitable in the early days of parenthood and it gets easier, I promise but, if the thought of that happening makes you feel frightened feel yourself of your baby, then it would be best to leave before baby comes.
Newborn babies cry. And they need to be safe to do so.
I am so sorry you are in this position brexitisamare.