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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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37 weeks and my boyfriend just said

771 replies

brexitisamare · 24/03/2019 00:46

He will "smash my face in".

He's playing a game online downstairs, fine. But he was screaming at it and it woke me up so I text him asking him to please keep it down.

He text me back telling me to "fuck off".

So I turned the WiFi off (it's in our bedroom). Quite childish of me now I look back but I was absolutely furious at being woken up and told to fuck off when I hadn't actually done anything wrong.

He came banging up the stairs, punched the bedroom door and said "if you ever do that again I will smash this whole house up and I'll smash your face in".

And he turned it back on, slammed the door, said something about wishing we weren't having our baby and now he's back downstairs playing whatever he's playing and I'm sat in bed shaking.

I realise my behaviour here was a bit childish but surely nothing warrants that? I don't think he will come back up or do anything providing I don't touch the internet (I'm not going to move now at all).

He's quite a calm person and I guess I've seen him angry before but nothing like this and he's never threatened me before. I cannot believe that's just happened. I don't even know why I'm posting I just don't know what to do now I'm sat here shaking and trying to calm myself down as I am heavily pregnant with this horrible mans child.

I can't leave because I don't have anywhere to go at this hour and to be honest the thought of having to go downstairs right now petrifies me.

I guess I just need a handhold here 😞

OP posts:
IggyAce · 26/03/2019 15:47

Hope your ok op, keep checking like a few others hoping for an update.

patstar · 26/03/2019 16:05

My thoughts are with you and your little one.
Really hope your ok and can get us an update when you are able too.
Flowers

nakedscientist · 26/03/2019 17:28

Thinking of you
❤️

suggsy · 26/03/2019 17:29

hope you’re okay and safe OP ❤️

blackteasplease · 26/03/2019 18:08
Flowers
Itssosunny · 26/03/2019 18:36

Stay strong, OP! We are thinking of you and the babyFlowers

smallereveryday · 26/03/2019 18:58

Worried about you all day. Hoping you are ok ?

whitetoblerone · 26/03/2019 19:49

I've been following this thread since the beginning. Just another show of support, OP.

YemenRoadYemen · 26/03/2019 19:54

It might be wise to stop bumping the thread, and just let the OP return to it as and when she's ready.

If you're adding to it just to get it on your watch list, you can always 'watch this thread'.

Feel free to disagree, of course.

BulletWithABun · 26/03/2019 20:21

Oh the irony!

GoFiguire · 26/03/2019 20:25

OK, I’ll do that yemen, good point.

brexitisamare · 26/03/2019 23:39

Hi everyone, so sorry if I've had anyone worried it's been a bit of a long scary couple of days as you can imagine.

I don't have pre eclampsia thank goodness but I do have a very bad infection so been in hospital under monitoring and it's likely they're going to induce me tomorrow morning which now I've got my head around I'm kind of excited about.

I've managed to eat this evening and keep my food down so I'm feeling a bit more human and baby is kicking away which feels amazing.

I've had my mum here since yesterday for visits and my partner has been in contact a bit with her asking for updates but she's basically told him to leave us alone until I'm feeling well enough to speak to him, oddly enough he's been really respectful and understanding - perhaps guilt, but right now I have no desire to see him. I think telling my mum and seeing how horrified she was has made me realise actually how bad what happened really was. She hasn't told him about the induction thankfully.

She's also offered for me and baby to go and stay with her and my dad when we get out of hospital which I think I mentioned before cant be long term but it'll give me enough time to recover and get things sorted out so that's one less thing to worry about for now.

I'm incredibly stressed about money right now as he owes me a bit of money and I don't know how or if I'll get that but trying to put that to the back of my head as our health needs to be priority right now.

I haven't read everything on the thread yet but when I get some more energy I'll re read this whole thread as I know some of you have suggested places/people I can approach for advice so that will be really helpful.

I'd like to thank you all again for encouraging me to come in because to be honest I don't think I would have and although it's not as serious as pre eclampsia, things could have gotten worse and now I know my little girl is okay so I honestly owe you all so much. Thank goodness for MN❤️

Hopefully the next time I update ill have a healthy baby so show off xx

OP posts:
Justaboy · 26/03/2019 23:45

Very pleased to hear that all is well and probelly better then expected:)

Enjoy your little one:)

beeyourself · 26/03/2019 23:46

Glad you're ok op - it sounds like they're taking care of you. Also glad to hear your parents are on side.

Hope they get your infection sorted and baby out very soon!

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 26/03/2019 23:47

So relieved and delighted to hear your update!! Good wishes for tomorrow, so exciting!

blackteasplease · 26/03/2019 23:49

Well done OP. So glad to hear you and baby are ok.

I'm sorry to say he's probably being respectful because he knows he's lost his control.

Stay safe OP and stay away from him.

Flowers
seahorse85 · 26/03/2019 23:49

Fantastic news OP! Glad you're doing ok. Thanks

Magissa · 26/03/2019 23:50

I've been following this thread and been so worried about you. It really is fantastic news that your mum is there to support you and that you will be safe with her when little one arrives. So glad you are in hospital being looked after. Thank goodness you went when you did. All the best with induction. Looking forward to a baby update.

EnchantingRaven · 26/03/2019 23:51

Glad you & your baby are okay OP. I really hope the infection clears up too.

You’ll be meeting your baby in no time! Flowers glad your mum is being supportive too, I know it’s easy to say and you’ll naturally be worrying about everything but try and take everything in small steps so you’re not so overwhelmed.

Hope everything goes well tomorrow & take care of yourself Smile

SleepyFlump · 26/03/2019 23:51

So glad to hear you're ok! Hope the induction goes well. Thank God for your mum! Stay strong! Thinking of you Thanks

5BlueHydrangea · 26/03/2019 23:56

Great news (well apart from the infection) lots of us worried about you! Pleased you managed to update. Sending you a hug and praying for a safe delivery of your little one, looking forward to a lovely baby picture! Flowers

Willow2017 · 26/03/2019 23:56

Really glad you are being looked after and all is going well despite the infection.
So glad your mum is there for you too and fielding your exs calls.

Just remember dont be fooled by his guilt. He just wants to cover his own ass he isnt going to change overnight. You dont need to.tell.him anything he doesnt deserve it.

You still need to get away from him for your own safety and your dds safey. Make sure the ward staff are told not to let him into the ward/delivery suite nor any friends or his family you dont want near you. Let them know he has threatened you and you dont want him near you.

Hope your induction goes smoothly and next update is about your dds arrival.

Take it easy. No pressure to keep posting. Your rest and prep for your new arrival are paramount not updating. Good luck for tomorrow. Flowers

tryinganotherusername · 26/03/2019 23:58

Great news op, have been following the thread, very glad to hear you and baby are ok Thanks

TheSerenDipitY · 27/03/2019 00:01

TLDR...
your last name for baby
dont put him on birth certificate
breastfeed the baby

not sure if its been mentioned, and i know its a big thing to consider right now... but dont put him on the birth certificate and dont give the baby his last name
its important!
dont be nice, dont be thinking oh but he is her dad
think of you and her in this... if you dont put him down he has to go to court for DNA testing and then he has to go to court for visitation, which is protection for you and the baby
If you do put him on the BC, he can restrict you going over seas, leaving the town/city you are in, and demand more time with the baby etc
also, not pushing, but if you are worried he might try for custody, breastfeeding is your very best weapon!!!!! no judge will allow a breastfed baby to over night with the non breastfeeding parent until they are about 2 or you stop feeding, so even though i fully support personal choice in feeding , it is something to seriously consider!

Bleary3000 · 27/03/2019 00:03

Great news!

I imagine as a pp said he is being respectful because he's lost control, be careful not to let him lure you back in by being nice, you know he'll switch once he thinks you are under his thumb again.

I would make a financial plan if you get a minute because i find having a plan helps me feel less stressed. This plan needs to assume he will not pay you back, then if he does, thats nice.