37 weeks and my boyfriend just said

[brexitisamare]

He will "smash my face in".

He's playing a game online downstairs, fine. But he was screaming at it and it woke me up so I text him asking him to please keep it down.

He text me back telling me to "fuck off".

So I turned the WiFi off (it's in our bedroom). Quite childish of me now I look back but I was absolutely furious at being woken up and told to fuck off when I hadn't actually done anything wrong.

He came banging up the stairs, punched the bedroom door and said "if you ever do that again I will smash this whole house up and I'll smash your face in".

And he turned it back on, slammed the door, said something about wishing we weren't having our baby and now he's back downstairs playing whatever he's playing and I'm sat in bed shaking.

I realise my behaviour here was a bit childish but surely nothing warrants that? I don't think he will come back up or do anything providing I don't touch the internet (I'm not going to move now at all).

He's quite a calm person and I guess I've seen him angry before but nothing like this and he's never threatened me before. I cannot believe that's just happened. I don't even know why I'm posting I just don't know what to do now I'm sat here shaking and trying to calm myself down as I am heavily pregnant with this horrible mans child.

I can't leave because I don't have anywhere to go at this hour and to be honest the thought of having to go downstairs right now petrifies me.

I guess I just need a handhold here 😞

Ps, tune everybody else out now brexitsamare. Treat yourself like somebody you love. xx

Fucking hell, is that from Luna?

Op, please don't stop posting - even if its on a new thread. There are posters here who can help signpost to external support, and who will understand what you are going through.

Honestly wishing you love, strength and support with this

Op, please report the poster responsible for that vile message, then forget about it, mumsnet should be a safe space for women to get helpful advice...not be verbally attacked as you have been.

Pick the kind, constructive and helpful advice and ignore the nasty idiots.

report it to MNHQ and they will investigate behind the scenes.

I've reported my post and asked for it to be deleted as I feel like perhaps I shouldn't have posted that message but I was quite upset by it. I've replied to the poster asking them to leave me alone.

You need to report that OP. She sounds unhinged.

Previous posters have covered a lot of things I'd say, but just to add that, as someone who's had a baby within the last couple of years; it has been the most demanding, stressful, friction-causing, frustrating, tiring etc. experience and it had tested my relationship to the absolute max.

You may get a sleep through the night, quiet 'dream' baby but it's equally likely you'll and it will take every ounce of effort, tolerance, perspective etc going to stay on good terms. This is what makes me seriously worry about you trying to parent with a man who's been behaving the way he has.

He would need to have a huge,benourmius wake up call and change of attitude and behaviour, which I wouldn't be hopeful about

Please report that message, the person who sent it is honestly scum, clearly too cowardly to say it on a public thread and should be banned

I don't know how to report a message, is there any way I can block them from messaging me though because I really don't want to hear from her again? @mnhq

Also, and I did some research in the interim today to make sure I was right; the fact is most baby and toddler homicides are by the mother's boyfriend or defacto.

This usually means a man who is not the biological father of the child. Though I see this info has been helpfully left out to make a point.
Ignore this bullshit OP.
I am glad you are feeling stronger today, I also think you need to get out of this situation safely and report what has happened to the police. Do you think he will let you walk out without any interference? If there is any chance he will start an argument or try and stop you then you must call the police to escort you to safety. Realise what is going on here. You were too scared to move last night and too worried to go downstairs to eat this morning.

OP completely ignore the utter psycho who sent you that rotten nonsense. Take care of yourself and your precious baby. You sound strong and intelligent and you know what you need to do. There's ALWAYS a way forward, and you and your baby WILL have a lovely life xx

OP report that message to MNHQ! That poster needs to be banned. That’s a vile message to send to anyone let alone a vulnerable pregnant woman!

*you'll not.

What on earth is going on with a poster sending unsupportive private messages to a poster who's in this position.

Ignore the weirdo troll OP.

Keep posting for support if you need it.

If you go into the message there is an option to report it and to block the poster too.

OP I remember your last thread, I think you’d kicked him out, he was staying away and you felt strong going it alone? What happened after that, how did things change?

Please don’t let one horrible poster put you off seeking support. You’ve had dozens of helpful and supportive responses on here.

OP, please report that message!! It's absolutely disgusting that someone decided to hide behind a PM to send you that!

Absolutely disgusting.

It's the fact she said about having self respect and getting what you deserve. I do have self respect and I know for a fact I didn't deserve to be threatened.

I've managed to block her messages, I hope MNHQ look into her account though. That was a vile message to receive and I am gutted by it. I never meant to come across at cruel in my response to her on here, but I do think it's wrong to even mention the fact we're not married. Surely that's my choice?

I planned a baby with someone I loved, but she's making it sound like I've just got with a random person and made a child, but even if I had - would that make being threatened my fault? I don't think so.

I'm really gutted, I was finding this thread so helpful.

On the message itself there is an exclamation mark, if you select that it gives you the option to report

Under the message there are three buttons. One is an exclamation mark. That is the report button. Another is a picture of a person with an X on it. That is the block poster button. But don’t block until you have reported the message.

OP try to let the message go, they can't message you again if you've blocked it. You've met one wierdo amongst loads of people. I've had strange people send me batshit PMs. It says a lot about what's wrong with them than you.

Is there anyone who you can contact IRL for support. It looks like you need someone around you while you process all this?

Don't let the crazies scare you away OP. That's their sad life and they are past helping. Just be grateful you don't have to deal with them in RL like some poor sods are having to.

You on the other hand are very very deserving of support and help

Afternoon everyone. We've had a chat with brexitisamare off the boards but we just wanted to thank everyone who alerted us to the awful private message she was sent.

Just to reassure you all that we've identified the poster who sent the message and we've now banned them.

We hope you all understand that this sort of thing is not at all in the spirit of Mumsnet and that thankfully it's a fairly rare occurrence. We absolutely don't allow folk to behave like that around here!

And, brexitisamare, we hope you'll stick around as it looks as though you've had some really helpful comments on your thread too.

We're so sorry you're in such a difficult situation and really hope that you can look into getting some RL help and support.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

Thank God someone posted about not showing him this thread. It really ought to be a sticky on the relationships board. It's really stupid and dangerous advise to tell someone who is be8ng abused in any way to show their abuser their thread. They will never change because some strangers said they were naughty .

Can’t you phone your Mum or Dad? If you were my child I’d really want to know what was happening and would want to help.

I wouldn’t bother having anything more todo with him. There is no point discussing what happened with him or trying to work out why it happened etc. It’s pointless really. It’s happened and you need to leave him. All that matters now is ending the relationship ASAP and getting on with getting things ready for the baby.

Thanks LouMumsnet