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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dp hasn't come home!

151 replies

GirlOnIt · 23/03/2019 00:19

He finished work around 2 and was going for a few drinks. Heard from him around 5 to say he was grabbing some food, he'd have a few more drinks and then head home. I messaged at 8, asking if he was having a good time, what time should I expect him etc. He replied he was going to finish his drink and go for the bus home.
Nothing since. I've tried messaging and calling, it's going straight to voice mail and messages are unread.

I'm worrying and feeling a bit stupid for worrying, then feeling stupid for not worrying more and doing something. Although I've no clue what I should/could be doing.

He's probably just drunk and is phones died or hasn't got signal and he'll roll home in the early house stupidly drunk, right?

Only he doesn't often get stupidly drunk and especially not when out with colleagues and he's really good at keeping in touch if his plans etc change.

I don't really know his colleagues, so can't get in touch with them. I've had a little look on social media and he's not by the looks of things, met up with his own friends or anything. I could text some of them to check but feel a bit silly doing so.

Not sure what I'm asking really, I guess just some reassurance that's he's most likely ok and probably just drunk. My mums away this weekend so don't want to bother her and don't want to worry his parents.

OP posts:
Hotterthanahotthing · 23/03/2019 00:23

Go to bed,he will be home have lost track of time.Hope you get some sleep Andheri doesn't wake you when he gets in.

nancy75 · 23/03/2019 00:23

If he finished work at 2 & was drinking at 8 there’s a very very good chance he’s just drunk! Loads of pubs have a 12 o’clock licence on Fridays so will only just be kicking out now

GirlOnIt · 23/03/2019 00:32

I know you're most probably right. He's just usually quite good at letting me know what times he's coming home. He was out in the city centre though @nancy75. So closing time is more early hours of the morning 2/3am later if nightclubs.

OP posts:
MumsyJ · 23/03/2019 01:44

Is he back yet OP? Has this behaviour ever happened previously? It's ok to worry if this is unusual.

Hopefully, he returns safely.

QueenofallIsee · 23/03/2019 01:47

Hope he has just lost track of time and has a dead phone OP, that’s the most likely explaination

ColeHawlins · 23/03/2019 02:27

Only he doesn't often get stupidly drunk and especially not when out with colleagues

That makes him more susceptible, not less. And nobody ever thinks to charge their phone when on a bender. He'll be okay.

He's either been persuaded back to someone's house, or woken up in the bus depot or similar.

GirlOnIt · 23/03/2019 03:44

Managed to fall sleep but woken up with Ds and he's still not back. No luck on his phone still. I can't imagine him going clubbing, he s still in his suit. Equally don't see him going back to a work friends, a normal friend yes but they'd text me.

OP posts:
littlecabbage · 23/03/2019 03:48

I can't think of any practical advice I'm afraid, but hope he turns up soon.

Starfish28 · 23/03/2019 03:49

If this is out of the ordinary then can you call around local hospitals just to check he isn’t there? If he is anything like my husband I would be seriously worried as he would never stay out that late. But of course, lots and lots of men would.

bionicnemonic · 23/03/2019 03:51

You must be very worried. Could he have crashed at someone’s place near where they were drinking? I don’t want to be alarming but have you phoned the local hospital?

goodolddaze · 23/03/2019 03:52

Can you see when he last logged onto WhatsApp and messenger? I’d be worried too but it’s of course most likely he has fallen asleep drunk somewhere or similar. Horrid to wake up and find him still out though.

CaseofEllen · 23/03/2019 03:59

Yes I agree with others OP, might be a good idea to call round hospitals just for some reassurance for yourself. He is probably drunk somewhere but if it's out of the ordinary then it must be quite scary for you. Hope he comes home ASAP! Thanks

user1474894224 · 23/03/2019 04:04

Oh dear. Hope he's ok. I'm sure he's sleeping it off somewhere. But thinking of you.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/03/2019 04:04

Some will say call the police, others will say "Whats the problem, he is out having a good time" but only you know which is more "him".

If this is completely out of character, which it sounds like it is, then call the hospital to check he isnt there and then prepare your roasting for tomorrow. Going out and staying out is fine, as long as everyone knows and plans for it. Doing it without notice is not on imo.

Ex and I always had a deal, no curfew for either of us but keep in touch so the other one knows when to worr.y

bethfreyaisaac · 23/03/2019 04:05

Hope he turns up soon OP Thanks

GirlRaisedInTheSouth · 23/03/2019 04:06

Is he back OP?

Climbingahoneytree · 23/03/2019 06:49

Is he home OP?
I don't blame you for being worried, I start worrying about if DH is ok if he is very late home and hasn't told me he would be, just because he would normally tell me

Littlefroggy18 · 23/03/2019 06:52

Hope he comes home soon OP Flowers

ShirleyPhallus · 23/03/2019 06:53

Is he home OP?

MyOtherProfile · 23/03/2019 06:54

How scary. Hope all turns out OK.

BorsetshireBlew · 23/03/2019 06:55

It sounds like he doesn't have form for this kind of thing. I hope he's back safe soon!

Scarydinosaurs · 23/03/2019 06:56

I would probably call hospitals if he still isn’t home.

You must be so worried, but try not to panic .

ApolloandDaphne · 23/03/2019 06:56

That does sound a bit worrying. I hope he is home now.

Propertybrothers · 23/03/2019 06:56

I hope he is home already/soon.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 23/03/2019 06:57

Oh poor you op. I'd be really worried too.

Is there anyone he was out with that you could contact?

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