Dp hasn't come home!

[GirlOnIt]

He finished work around 2 and was going for a few drinks. Heard from him around 5 to say he was grabbing some food, he'd have a few more drinks and then head home. I messaged at 8, asking if he was having a good time, what time should I expect him etc. He replied he was going to finish his drink and go for the bus home.
Nothing since. I've tried messaging and calling, it's going straight to voice mail and messages are unread.

I'm worrying and feeling a bit stupid for worrying, then feeling stupid for not worrying more and doing something. Although I've no clue what I should/could be doing.

He's probably just drunk and is phones died or hasn't got signal and he'll roll home in the early house stupidly drunk, right?

Only he doesn't often get stupidly drunk and especially not when out with colleagues and he's really good at keeping in touch if his plans etc change.

I don't really know his colleagues, so can't get in touch with them. I've had a little look on social media and he's not by the looks of things, met up with his own friends or anything. I could text some of them to check but feel a bit silly doing so.

Not sure what I'm asking really, I guess just some reassurance that's he's most likely ok and probably just drunk. My mums away this weekend so don't want to bother her and don't want to worry his parents.

Sounds like he deliberately avoided you.

You probably wouldn't behave the way he has OP, even if you had the opportunity.

Ask yourself why that might be.

Your turn next! Where are you going to go and stay out all night? It's alright. He won't mind, and won't see any problem. It's your 'get out of jail free' card.

Is this out of character? I'm guessing so, seeing as you were initially worried rather than angry.

Sorry OP.

Yes I'd be planning a whole night out, even if its a spa hotel with your mum !

i am pretty laid back but I’d be bloody furious. It’s not the staying out late, it’s the not letting you know where the hell he is. Most people would think their partner/husband had come to serious harm if they stayed out with no message past about 8pm. I’d honestly have thought of calling the police. I’d want to see his face too, no going back to bed for him. It’s way beyond selfish.

This sounds awful. I really hope there's a very good explanation as to why he still hasn't contacted you.

My normally lovely bil did this once and my dsis was out of her mind. He comes from a family of heavy drinkers and was away with them , so she knew chances were he was just completely out of it and drunk himself into oblivion. They have young dcs and she likes a drink herself, but would NEVER do this! I don't want to sound like a man hater (I'm not) but I'm sick and tired of hearing these stories. Why do they think it's ok to completely disconnect from all responsibility?! Makes my blood boil

I really hope he grovels OP and is genuinely very sorry. He should be.

I'm not buying the no charger at his 'colleague's' house either

That's such bs about the no charger at "colleagues" house. He went back with a woman, that's why he refused to answer your calls and didn't come home.

He got home around 8:45. He's very apologetic, said time got away from him and when he went to call me his phone had died. Some of the guys were going back to this guys flat via the kebab shop and he was planning on charging his phone, eating and getting a taxi home.
He says he must have been drunker than he'd realised and his mate went and looked for a charger but never gave him it and he must have fallen asleep on the sofa. He woke up about 8:30 and wasn't sure where he was at first, got his mate to order a Uber and came straight home. That fits because he looked like he'd just woke up.

Don't think there's a woman and definitely no drugs. He showed me his phone and it was dead, charged it and nothing on their excepts messages from me that came through and messages from work friends asking where they'd gone etc.

He's had a shower, some paracetamol and he's taken Ds for a walk in the pram.

I'm still fuming but he looked very genuinely sorry.

Glad he's home safe OP! Good that he's apologetic and has taken DS without fuss.

Sure lots will be on soon to tell you to be fuming at him all day, check he's not cheating etc. If you trust him and this is out of the ordinary then I'd just get him to buy you all the chocolate and cake you can eat and let it go this time

It's not great but I think the fact that people have potentially wound you up into thinking the worst on here probably hasn't helped your anger. Talk to him and clear the air the put it to bed.

Why aren't people buying the no charger? Hardly any of my friends have the same charger as me

Glad he's home op. If he does look genuinely sorry, his story adds up and it's a one off then I would accept his apology, and put it to bed. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I'm not saying everyone should be happy if their dp disappears, but in this case if your happy you trust him then I would just accept his apology and move on. Hope you can get a quick rest whilst he's out a walk with your ds, and maybe some tea and cake

Glad he is home up.

We've all been there. (Well maybe not all) but my friends and I have all made a Pratt of ourselves at some point....Give him a bit of grief for worrying you....but then forgive and move on. I'm glad it was all ok. X

I hope you've checked his phone to see if it does indeed have 0% battery like he claims (and isn't just switched off).

Just because I'm suspicious like that.

Sorry just seen you've checked his phone battery. (good for you).

poor you,

My dh did this once

Ended up having to pick my dh up once at 5.30 am after he went out with friends just for a few at 5pm

His phone signal was crap,then 4g was crap. I was livid with him only because I had to get up for work the next day.

The shall we call it bickering (me giving him hell)all the way home in the car was enough for him to not even attempt to do it again.

I have no issue with him going out every now and then with mates,I do it myself however as long as he's not disturbing me or relying on a lift from me to pick him up and i don't have work the next day it's fine.

I wouldn't be happy op

I don't have a problem with him going out or even staying at mates if he's very drunk. He's not one for doing so though as he really likes to come home to his own bed.
Normally on work nights he doesn't drink much or stay out late, so I was really worried. If it had been his friends I'd have just text one of the others to ask if his phone was dead, he was still out etc. I just panicked myself last that something had happened to him.

He's very sorry though, brought me a coffee and cake back from his walk and I know he feels rough but he's getting on with house jobs, looking after Ds etc.

His mate has a Samsung and Dp a iPhone but he'd apparently gone to look for a old iPad one he had to see if that fit, then Dp thinks he just went to bed upstairs and Dp fell asleep downstairs. One of the messages on his phone was hope you got home mate or your lass is going to kill you, apparently that's because he was saying I need to go home Girl is expecting me.

I can't remember a time when I've not been able to make it home or contact someone, no matter how drunk I was.... even when I was young and considerably more stupid I always managed to get home.

Do you have a landline OP? If not, worth asking DP to memorize your mobile number, or keep it written down in his wallet. DD has lost her phone or run out of battery countless times but she's always able to let me know where she is because she knows my number so can call or text from anyone's phone. DH and I would always call on the landline if we couldn't use our mobiles for some reason.

So pleased he's fine, just milk it for at least the day ! I suggest a gift of a mini power bank and lead - my DD's is the size of a lipstick and the lead is only 3inches so fits in a pocket (her battery is failing), i bought it for £5 off amazon.