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Relationships

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Original poster

Worried that he is pushing the boundaries of our kink

143 replies

BethPorter · 16/03/2019 07:29

DH and I have a thing that we do. I would say it's unconventional, although probably very tame by today's standards. I dont think the details are important for the purpose of this post.

The point is that we both enjoy what we do. However recently he has wanted to push the boundaries. That can work for me, although it has made me think that he wants this to go somewhere that I don't and that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I don't want this to become an issue between us, and don't want to stop what we are doing. What I want is for him to enjoy it in the same way that I do. In short to think like me (I don't mean that to sound like I am controlling).

Has anyone with similar experiences, any advice as to how to keep this as something that we are both comfortable with and continue to enjoy?

OP posts:

1Redacted1 · 16/03/2019 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frenchmontana · 16/03/2019 17:13

No one wants Storm Freya up their Fanny.

Maybe she was hoping for a bit of Gareth

BorsetshireBlew · 16/03/2019 17:15

Agree that it's you who is taking on ALL the risk if you were to get caught. For goodness sake get yourselves to a sex party and fuck in front of people who are consenting to it. Your kink is gross.

00100001 · 16/03/2019 17:37

well, sounds like its time for him to get his kegs off and go for a walk....

Redglitter · 16/03/2019 18:07

You might get a kick out of it but if you get can you imagine the repercussions. Not sure what your preference would be. The Police at your door or photos or a video of your walk on social media. It's only a matter of time before one or both things happen

Stormyday · 16/03/2019 18:08

I hope you don’t do it round here .

Frenchmontana · 16/03/2019 18:16

People saying he needs to get his legs off need to remember
and it was me that suggested that we went for walk in my then state ofundress.

Him running round the woods half naked might not do it for her. This was her suggestion and, like most kinks, it's got a bit samey. Lots of kinks naturally progress

katykins85 · 16/03/2019 18:17

Penalties for indecent exposure can be up to 2 years in prison....maybe try a new kink that isn't so risky?

ahtellthee · 16/03/2019 18:17

*'Put the gash away, love'.

Frenchmontana · 16/03/2019 18:18

His kegs not his legs off.....whoops

Crunchymum · 16/03/2019 18:21

What does he do whilst you are prancing about with your fanny out?

Singlenotsingle · 16/03/2019 18:21

What happens if you meet a mad rapist while you're out flaunting? Is dp a big, strong bloke who would protect you? Or would he run away? Or would he think it was just one step further?

Stormyday · 16/03/2019 18:23

I’m thinking of an elderly person walking their dog.

Crunchymum · 16/03/2019 18:24

The chances of an exhibitionist bumping into a rapist have to be pretty slim? But OP is at much higher risk of bumping into someone who really won't appreciate seeing her minge.

Calzone · 16/03/2019 18:25

That’s not a kink.

It’s bizarre.

Really grateful dh doesn’t want this kink.

TheFatberg · 16/03/2019 18:26

Are you getting off on reading these responses because that's not ok either?

Gruzinkerbell1 · 16/03/2019 18:32

Just post a photo of your bare arse and have done with it OP. You’re obviously desperate for the attention.

AvocadoYUK · 16/03/2019 18:34

That is a completely fine kink and I totally understand when things sometimes need to be elevated.
.
However he needs to understand that even if it's fun , it is still illegal and you'll be the one to pay from him pushing it.
.
Talk to him, work out a safe word maybe. Swap roles. Just be very clear to him

ElspethFlashman · 16/03/2019 18:35

What does he do whilst you are prancing about with your fanny out?

Presumably he walks along, completely and fully clothed. He isn't going to get in trouble, oh no. He's not the one who's going to end up with their Facebook photos in the Daily Mail. People may roll their eyes at him, but they'll call you every name under the sun. And you'll be the one to lose your job.

Stop being a mug OP, and start protecting yourself, FFS.

GreenEggsHamandChips · 16/03/2019 18:37

You're not getting turned on by the kink.

You are getting turned on by his reaction which is waning. You dont really understand his reaction because it was never your kink in the first place.

So really you were doing something just to please him, not to directly please yourself. This is massively unhealthy. You are having trouble putting sensible boundaries in place because kink bounderies should be entirely about you, what you find sexy and what you dont. You haven't been exploring that at all.

You need a massive rethink. It will be hard because the trust has completely been buggered up. He cant trust you because have just gone along with stuff and you cant really trust him or you.

How valuable is this relationship with you. Because you have a hell of a job to fix it

Frenchmontana · 16/03/2019 18:39

The OP was the one who felt great having sex outside and him not so much.

I am not convinced it's his kink.

GreenEggsHamandChips · 16/03/2019 18:39

Lots of kinks naturally progress

I think the opposite too. Once you've explored the kink and considered the drive behind it it can almost entirely disappear.

GreenEggsHamandChips · 16/03/2019 18:48

^The OP was the one who felt great having sex outside and him not so much.

I am not convinced it's his kink.^

OP wanted to do one thing. Switched to something different when it was clear her DP wasnt enjoying himself. It led to satisfying sex. Its easy to assume the kink is what is turning you on not the reaction.

The give away is that the OP isnt really actually now inherently enjoying it whereas her DP wants to go further.

Therefore his kink not hers. Her reaction was in response to his not the kink itself.

My kinks i would enjoy with my DP or not. We dont do all of them because he doesnt enjoy all of them. Im absolutely certain the reverse is also true.

Kinks only ever work if you both inherently enjoy what you are doing.

MashedSpud · 16/03/2019 18:50

Why not visit a nude beach or a nude b&b?

icannotremember · 16/03/2019 18:50

You can't involve others in your kink without their full and informed consent and if people see you when you are doing this, you have involved them. That's not fair.

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