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Original poster

Worried that he is pushing the boundaries of our kink

143 replies

BethPorter · 16/03/2019 07:29

DH and I have a thing that we do. I would say it's unconventional, although probably very tame by today's standards. I dont think the details are important for the purpose of this post.

The point is that we both enjoy what we do. However recently he has wanted to push the boundaries. That can work for me, although it has made me think that he wants this to go somewhere that I don't and that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I don't want this to become an issue between us, and don't want to stop what we are doing. What I want is for him to enjoy it in the same way that I do. In short to think like me (I don't mean that to sound like I am controlling).

Has anyone with similar experiences, any advice as to how to keep this as something that we are both comfortable with and continue to enjoy?

OP posts:
Folf · 16/03/2019 13:35

ok, what you're doing is illegal, I appreciate its a thrill, but if you get caught or reported you'll have a whole world of problems and a criminal record.

Im all for kink (I have a few unusual ones myself) but you have to weigh the thrill against the danger and I think the more you push this, the higher the danger gets.

I suggest you discuss some other way to indulge.. perhaps going completely naked but wearing a large overcoat or something.

MeAgainAgain · 16/03/2019 13:40

Namestheyareachanging

Grin 900% true

B3ck89 · 16/03/2019 13:40

Am I the only one who thinks This is just weird Hmm

BrightSpells · 16/03/2019 13:41

So the problem is he wants to walk for longer and you just want to nip around the car park? Or do something else? I'm confused.

Jaguarana · 16/03/2019 13:42

Isn't it a bit chilly at this time of year?

ImFineThankYouSusan · 16/03/2019 13:45

What zenasfuck said.

Can't abide those who force their sex lives on unsuspecting members of public.

Quartz2208 · 16/03/2019 13:46

The problem is here it’s you who would be in trouble if caught you who could be arrested so it needs to be you who sets out the boundaries of what you are comfortable with
If he can’t see that then he is selfish and pushing it for his own thrills. You need to make it clear that any boundary pushing is by you

Tunnockswafer · 16/03/2019 13:48

Well if he is the one pushing the boundaries, wouldn’t it be fair if he was the one taking the risk? I assume he isn’t walking without his trousers and risking being caught like this, criminal record etc. Never mind the alarm you might cause in the odd dog walker who didn’t ask to see your fanny or arse on their walk.

OpiesOldLady · 16/03/2019 13:53

I'm in the kink scene with DP and we have hard and soft limits. Hard limits are unshakeable. We do not push them. Soft limits well... we bend, stretch and push them because that's what they are made for. We also operate a traffic light safe word system. Red mean stop instantly, check I'm ok. Amber means I like what you're doing but just ease up a little and green mean's loving it, don't stop.

Rubusfruticosus · 16/03/2019 13:53

I agree with zenasfuck. It's illegal if someone should see you and an inconsiderate thing to do.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 16/03/2019 13:57

As a consequence he wants to take more risks than I do.

No he doesn't. He wants YOU to take more risks. How convenient for him.

I agree with posters that it's (illegal) a shitty thing to do to risk involving an unsuspecting member of the public in your kink. You both have issues with consent.

MammaMia19 · 16/03/2019 13:58

Its quite an unusual thing, law of averages is you are going to get caught at some point. It will probably end up in the local news, pictures could end up online. Someone could take a pic and post it on the local Facebook page and people will recognise you. It's going to be you having all the embarrassment and getting named and shamed

KennyCalmIt · 16/03/2019 14:01

Absolute pointless post

You could always... speak to him about how you feel?! like adults
Believe it or not, posting this on mumsnet won’t make him sense how you’re feeling Hmm

But I’m sorry you’re both gross. This is no different than a man exposing himself in the bushes. You’re doing the exact same thing. You’re disgusting

HollowTalk · 16/03/2019 14:04

You do know, OP, about social media and videos on phones? Are you absolutely insane?

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 16/03/2019 14:17

I’m with you B3 and Kenny it reminds me of a thread a while back we’re a couple liked to get their jollies at the cinema, she had her arse handed to her on a plate, no one wants to be a participant in your weird sex games and to be honest I expect the OP is getting one almighty kick discussing it on this thread. Just go dogging OP and leave unwilling and unaware participants out of it.

lunar1 · 16/03/2019 14:31

Don't involve unwilling and unaware people in your sex life. It's both I'll and revolting.

DointItForTheKids · 16/03/2019 14:32

I absolutely guarantee if OP asked DH to be the one to walk round without his pants and trousers on, he'd not be keen on the idea!!

The risk is ALL bourne by you OP. Do you work - I mean, if you are a teacher or something like that, you could lose your career as well as the subsequent publicity, court case etc. I'm worried you're the one with most to lose, even if you don't have a 'career'. You'd be judged and vilified, not him. Would he step up then and vociferously defend you, admit it was he who urged you to do it, or would you find him rapidly stepping back and letting you take all the heat - in the trust department, would you trust him on this score, if the shit hit the fan?

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 16/03/2019 14:32

Christ that's grim.

adaline · 16/03/2019 14:36

Kinks are fine when they're in the bedroom - don't make innocent people participate in your sex life Hmm

Confusedbeetle · 16/03/2019 14:43

Oh Dear. Alarm bells. First what you are doing is illegal and you could be in trouble here, for what? The risk is the thrill, yes, for how long? That is the nature of thrill seeking, you always need to ramp it up. What you are doing could be seriously offensive to anyone who had the misfortune to see you. This shows great immaturity. Keep your practices in your own home. Its all abit sad really. Good sex can be such a good thing, doesnt need to be seedy

Frenchmontana · 16/03/2019 15:32

You go from a stroll with nothing on from the waist down.

I mean, I kind of get the thrill of being caught my be a turn on. But after 2 or 3 times?

To be fair though OP started the kink. It's not like he started he. She decided to expose herself first. He isnt convince her or bribe her to do it .

He is just getting a bit bored with strolling around with his wifes arse out. I can see why.

Cant you go to a kink club and have sex there? Theres people who dont mind being dragged into your sex games.

Frenchmontana · 16/03/2019 15:33

And outdoor sex isnt unconventional.

Its grim, for passers by. But not unconventional.

hellenbackagen · 16/03/2019 15:40

Op
If you are going to places with car parks then it's very likely that you are already on cctv somewhere.

I'm my job we often get footage circulated for ID purposes. I'd stop or at least put a dirty mac on.

PhoenixBuchanan · 16/03/2019 16:53

I would also suggest you stop this right now and find something to do in your own home. If you do get caught you will be mortified and the whole thing will be ruined forever. I'm trying to put myself in the shoes of someone who came across you. It would be embarrassing for everyone involved and possibly feel quite violating for the member of the public. Depending on my mood and the situation, I'd either just think you were a pair of nutters and tell all my friends about it, or consider reporting you to the police. If your car with your plates were identifiable, you could be in trouble.

CurtainsOpen · 16/03/2019 17:05

No one wants Storm Freya up their Fanny.

Put the gash away, love.