A space in refuge for me, but too sacared to leave

[nowheretorunorhide]

I need a bit of encouragement. A space in a refuge has come up, but I feel so guilty and scared leaving. I know he can't change and this will only get worse, but I love him and feel so scared to be alone.

I was in your position from your first post on this thread a few years ago. I read it as I hoped you had had the courage to leave and I see you went through with it. I don’t know you but I’m so proud of you.
I did t have your courage and stayed 2 more years before I left. I had been offered LA houses in two separate occasions, one of them being a new build and I gave them up to stay. They are my biggest regrets.
I ended up leaving 4 years ago and they have been the happiest 4 years of my adult life (I was with exh since I was a teenager)
I wish you and your dc all the happiness in the world, you really do deserve it. Xx

That's a good update OP.
Well done on getting away and I'm so glad your RL support network are helping you.
He's really showing his true colours now.
The 'nice' approach didn't work so now it's all insults and abuse.
Which actually helps you to see this for what it is and cements the fact that you absolutely did the right thing.
Stay strong - keep reaching out.

You are doing so well. His shitty messages are just that... he knows you're gone and he can't do anything about it so he's just trying to make you feel like shit.

He's pathetic.

You're not.

So glad your DC are enjoying it there. Just keep taking steps forward. Also glad you are getting some real life support.

Deep breath... and onwards and upwards. You're already on your way.

Wow! His emails are appalling.

But the rest of your new life sounds amazing. You're doing so well.

Go find the New You. I'm sure it'll be AWESOME.

Well he is really showing himself up for the abusive exploitative ignorant bully that he is, with those emails, isn't he? Evidence , evidence and more evidence as to why no one would want to live with him!

My guess is that free of him your mental health will magically improve.

Well done for your IKEA trip - do nice things to treat yourself as an alternative to him treating you like shit!

Well done, you’re going through the hardest bit now, and doing so well.

Well done. I'm pleased for you.

I'm so glad I have left now after being so scared Friday and Saturday if I had done the right thing. it's a lot of change, but I have the kids and we are making a better life together.

It's almost easier when they're nasty isn't it? Reminds you why you've made the right decision!

He sounds like an absolute cunt and we are all proud of you for making the break - the first day you cry less is the turning point. Then the first day you realise in the evening you haven't thought about them at all that day.

Lovely you have support around you and your ex husband sounds like a legend, it's great you've stayed friends.

You've got this :)

They quickly show their true selves and make it that much easier to leave! Congratulations on setting up your new home with your children. Good luck in getting your stuff back on the weekend. Stay safe!