Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

[awesmum]

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

I wouldn't bother trying to speak to anyone that's in contact with him. He will have spun them a load of bullshit lies and anything you say will get back to him. I'm sure he's loving that you're panicking. He really is a piece of shit!

I hope he drops her back off tomorrow!

I have deleted them all now. Also just tried to call him to speak to DD. He's not answering.

She did call me back the 'friend' said she'd spoken to him and DD was asleep on the sofa at work. She was very short with me and a little patronising. But yes I agree he's properly smeared me to all and sundry.

At least she replied (although there was no need to be a bitch to you). Unfortunately in their world, you are the villain. Hopefully, when he is denied access and the courts sort him out, they may realise that he's not the saint they think he is.

He'll show his true colours to each of them one day. They always do xx

At least she replied (although there was no need to be a bitch to you). Unfortunately in their world, you are the villain. Hopefully, when he is denied access and the courts sort him out, they may realise that he's not the saint they think he is.

He'll show his true colours to each of them one day. They always do xx

Just realised not only is DD going to miss her ballet class tomorrow but we're meant to going to a Mother's Day tea party at her nursery. My heart is breaking, she loves ballet and I just bought her ballet shoes she was so proud.

KOKO

This is so awful, she must be so bored being held hostage in his shitty office. Please make somebody do something to stop this its heartbreaking..... Hes clearly mental

What an utter twat you poor thing and poor DD, hopefully though this won't look good for him at court. He's showing how unreasonable he is behaving. I'm shocked at his so called professional solicitor

Gosh poor DD imagine being stuck in an office instead of being at nursery with her little friends. Really stimulating atmosphere, I don't think.
Surely this must pose Health and Safety issues for a child of that age in that enviroment.

I appreciate this may not result in any positive action on part of this idiot of a so called father, however 'advise' him that there is a tea party at nursery and it is DD's ballet class tomorrow and that you will leave her ballet kit at the ballet class venue for her to change into. You wouldn't be asking him to take her, but strongly implying he should and it would also show a digital trail so he couldn't claim he didn't know when this all comes to court.

A tiny part of me wonders if his solicitor has sacked him given he is not following their advice?

Poor little girl. Can nursery do anything to help? I was just wondering if she's at risk of losing her place if he doesn't take her when he should. Can you seek advice from your health visitor?

Are their other adults around at his place of work when she's there? Could it be raised as a safeguarding issue, especially if the other adults aren't DBS checked?

A tiny part of me wonders if his solicitor has sacked him given he is not following their advice?

I was just thinking this. His solicitor wasn't impressed after the last withholding event, so may well have binned him off.

No more contact once you get her back. None. At. All. He can't be trusted.

My everything is crossed for you, awesmum

@DPotter thanks, good idea. I have just sent an email saying what she's missing. Also asking when she's being returned to his solicitor.

@AgathaF I have been trying to call the health visitors all day and it's permanently engaged, I will try again tomorrow.

Other things I am thinking - how it affects his work insurance and health and Safety in work. DBS is a good point also.

OP, I might be clutching at straws but is there any stipulation in his business insurance or premises lease that says children aren't allowed on the premises? I'm sure it can't be permitted to regularly have a child for long periods of timeduring work hours and particularly unsupervised. Might be worth calling the insurance company to see (who I'm sure you probably sorted in the first place).

I sincerely hope it all works out in your favour in the end and he gets what he deserves.

Cross post!

@IndieRar great minds

Worth calling insurers to enquire/make them aware/lodge a complaint of sorts. It might invalidate the cover and they'd need to warn him to give him the chance to stop. You're probably still named on the cover as well.

Everything crossed for you OP, I've been where you are

It does get better doesn't it?

This is all so awful. I was previously a family solicitor in another jurisdiction. Could your solicitor not apply for an emergency order for delivery and interdict him from removing her from your care?

Apologies if you've already covered this. I see from your thread you have legal wheels in motion but they don't seem very effective!

@Ginger1982 they really aren't very effective. It appears everything goes at its own speed, none of which is very quick at all. It's awful.

Thanks for the advice it's all going on my list of things to ask my solicitor tomorrow.

Yes please do ask! The terms may be different in England but they should understand what you mean. I have done this in the past for clients.

@awesomemum you are a SAINT! My Gran went through years of domestic abuse and my Grandad was very controlling like you have mentioned all the way through. Just know that women like you are the sort of mother I aspire to be one day!!
It takes so much strength to continue to just do what is right by your children, they will be brilliant adults one day because of you!!

What's the process for an emergency application? Do you need your solicitor to do this? Sorry I'm in Australia so I'm unsure, as here I could apply directly to court if I needed to.

@liamhemsworthsrealwife it's really difficult in the UK to discover what to do next, there's no where you can go to get advise like the court. Even CAB (citizens advice bureau) aren't legally trained so can't give advice as to the next step. Everything has to go via solicitors and then half the time they either don't come back to you or don't fully disclose what is available.

Because I have a solicitor no other solicitor will give me advice. My solicitor won't currently do anything as I am waiting on my legal aid application, However legal aid have said why are they doing an emergency application, I can't process that only my solicitor can do that. But I can't force them to do it. My solicitor won't tell me what I can do personally next as if I do they aren't getting paid to do it. So I am stuck.