Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

[awesmum]

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

I just dropped in to see how you're doing and saw your update..so glad things have settled..but please don't rest on your laurals...I am still dealing witht his shit six years down the line AND with a court order in place. I hope you get an excellent Cafcass officer and you can tie things up nicely!

So glad to hear the kids and you are OK...and work is going well! You're a warrior young lady!

Sending you love and a hand hold

I'm so glad things have been ok.

Yes, sometimes it's only when you remove something from the equation that you can truly see the impact it's been having.

Maintinance is separate normally.If he went agree to pay then apply through CMS.

Following your story and each time really hope
To see a positive update.

You're being incredible - he is insane!

OP just rtft and wanted to say that you're doing great. The only thing I would strongly advise I'd that you get a Child arrangements order & a prohibited steps order with a penal notice attached asap. I'm quite shocked tgat you haven't been advised to do this by your solicitor. You could actually do it yourself. It would provide fixed contact and the PSO prevents him removing LO from your care so you don't have a repeat situation. Sadly, I've been there too. Wishing you huge strength going forward. Your children have a fab parenting example in you.

@Mummacake that's what I went for at court, but they have said come back in 3 months. I knew something would happen, unfortunately it happened after the initial court date. But had it happened before I applied to court I would have to wait longer.

He's failed to return her again.

He asked to have her till Monday morning. My solicitor agreed so I could get her back last time. Hes failed to do it.
His solicitor is not returning my calls or emails.

awesmum I can't find the words. I cannot begin to imagine how hard this is to handle. I'm in awe of your strength and resilience, to have come this far and still be able to keep putting your children's needs first. Just wishing you the strength to keep going until what he is doing is officially recognised and they put a legal stop to it.

When has he decided he's returning her? I'm so sorry to hear this has happened again. And also sorry his sodding solicitor seems complacent with this xx

It needs escalating to court urgently before 50:50 care has become the norm.

He's not saying when he's returning her.

He's not saying anything

@RandomMess that's my concern. It is forced though. And he's still taking her to work, not allowing her to go to nursery or do outside activities. He's also not informing me what, when or anything.

I think you have to take some urgent court action now, this is so unfair and unsettling for the child. Every time you tell her she is coming back on a set day and then he doesn't return her it isn't going to be clear at her age that is was him who was lying. It's extremely unreasonable to act as he does and for your child to be subject to his whims. Good luck.

I am trying to sort court out now. But because we have a date it's very hard.

It all sounds so hard, I so sorry you're all going through this. Your children all sound wonderful so just hold onto that when it's really bad, the more of a controlling arse he is now the more evidence you have of him not acting in her interests.

Stay strong op. I'm praying you get full custody.
Hopefully the courts will act urgently xx

I'm gutted for you all going through this again. I can't believe no one is getting this into court now! It's a bloody disgrace

Shit.

I can’t wait for court to wipe the floor with this cock nostril.

I’m so so sorry Op

Devastated to read the update for both yourself and dd. I really hope a solution is found in court quickly.

Perhaps after doing this twice then you can refuse further unsupervised contact until power of arrest attached to CO contact time for him.

I hope your solicitor is able to advise what is for the best in your particular circumstances.

Sorry OP I'm not sure how this all works, are CAFCASS involved at all?

I know you said SS weren't interested last time but would it be worth ringing and reporting this again?

Really hope he gets her back to you ASAP, he's an absolute fucker.

Oh dammit! Hope you're able to sort court out asap.

Would it be damaging to your case if you were to have the police do a welfare check on her at his office? It might at least make him uncomfortable enough to return her.

At any rate, I hope this second instance will be enough for you to be able to stop any contact until you've been through the courts.

What an evil, selfish man he is....

So his solicitor hasn't called back, nor emailed. I ended up calling someone who used to be my best friend before the split, just to find out if DD was ok, as he won't answer the phone to me, she told me she wasn't getting involved, that I needed to sit down and sort stuff out access wise, I said every time we have an agreement he goes against it, she said but you don't have anything legally in place. So for someone who is keeping out of it she knows all the details of what happening from him.

I have moved a little forward with potentially making my solicitor actually do something, but don't fully know until tomorrow.
So in for a night of not knowing when I am seeing DD next.