Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

[awesmum]

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

@user1486131602 I am so sorry you're going through this too. It's so consuming isn't it. I try very hard to let it go but it takes conscious effort to.

I am so with you on the bitter and twisted thing. He was always so argumentative with everyone- drivers on the road, people in restaurants, people in shops - just everyone quite frankly. When I used to talk about it he would say 'why do I always have to let people out/ put up with them jiggling about/ walking past me.' I won't allow him to turn me into him being constantly cross and angry at people even him.

Having said that he's still arguing the toss on wording in the court order. Which is eminently frustrating. I am going to have the weekend off thinking about it. I find that fairly helpful- I allow myself allocated times to think about him and deal with him (his rubbish, not that I miss him) a bit like an unpleasant job you really don't want to do but must - clean the gutters, wash out the wheelie bin that sort of thing.

@Pinktornado many thanks for the compliment ironically enough I used to really enjoy writing I stopped as he read some of my stuff and belittled it saying I came across smug and patronising as I am too wordy. I am back writing for pleasure again and even starting a blog.

Can I have the blog link ? Xx

I'd like the link too!

Please may I have the blog link too xx

I wouldn't put a link to the blog on here, this forum is anonymous and Blogs generally are not.

Please pm me your log link

I have pm'd the link. Let me in your thoughts

Please would you pm me the link too?

If possible please PM me the link too

Done and done

Could I have a blog link via PM too please? I've lurked/cheered you on all the way, and though I've never felt I had anything useful to add or say, I've been totally inspired by your perseverance and fairness through everything!

Could I have the blog link too, please?

I've lurked, and quietly cheered you on from the sidelines - even whilst thinking "is [awesomemum] with my daughter's biological co-creator?!" because this? Is exactly the sort of thing he'd do. I've been "free" of him now for 22 years (DD is 23), but I still get twitchy from time to time. His parents stalked her. His sister harrassed me over social media. Yet I wasn't the one forbidding DD to see them. She was the one refusing, point blank, to go. Awesome, please bear in mind that your littlest and 11 year old may well need extra support to deal with this situation either now, or at some point in the future. You've done absolutely everything you needed to do to protect your child(ren)... but their emotions/mental wellbeing is a strange thing that might need just someone to listen who they're not going to be afraid of upsetting.

I'm another one that would love to read your blog, I have found your strength, determination and how you have put your DD at the center of it all is amazing. She really is lucky to have you to fight for her.

could you pm your blog link please?

Well done OP with all you have achieved and will continue to achieve. Could I have your blog link too please.

Have sent it.

@contrary13 sorry to hear you've been through this horror, your daughter too.
I completely agree about emotional support, I have spoken to each of the children's schools, particularly DD 11's school as he was refusing to return DD when she was studying for SATs. I have also spoken to her friends mums, who have been a wonderful support to me too. They have expressed to her as have I if she ever wants a chat with someone outside of the situation, that they are available to her. I am so conscious of not over pushing the situation but keeping an eye on them. It's a fine line. I think the older 3 are a little sick of him and his histrionics to be fair and just want an opportunity to get on with their much more peaceful lives.

I've only recently come across this thread (not sure how I missed it) but read this one and the previous one in one sitting and it kept me up until 1am as I couldn't put it down. It was like reading a horror novel and I wanted to get to the end to hear that the victim had won the day and the perp had got his comeuppance. Then I had step back and remember that this is actually true life and you, your DCs and this monster STBX are real people. I'm gobsmacked at what you've been through OP, what you've endured and what you've overcome. I'm in awe at your strength coping with all the shit this man has thrown at you, and continues to even now. I'll certainly keep reading your story, and likely Thread #3, as this one is fast filling up. Keep fighting OP. You're doing a fantastic job. I too would be interested in reading your blog if you wouldn't mind sharing the link.

awesmum may I please have the link to your blog too? xxx

@awesmum could I please have the link as well? Xx

We all want the link awesmum as we are in awe!

I'd love the link too please!

I have read both your threads, and to see how far you have come is amazing, so I am another requesting your link to your blog please! You truly deserve all the love, luck and happiness that is sure to come your way!

I think you are doing brilliantly, hats off to you and your dd. Please may I have the link too, I enjoy your writing style it's very good. TIA

Link too please!

Link for me too please if you don't mind. Your story has so many parallels to mine although your XH is able to exert more control because your youngest is so little still. Keep strong OP