Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

[awesmum]

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

I really couldn't have said how it was going to go. Even my barrister couldn't call it. I am a little stunned, cautiously optimistic and hopeful we may now be able to start living our lives.

But I am also aware who I am dealing with so wouldn't put anything past him

Brilliant outcome OP. This must feel like a ten ton weight off your shoulders .

🥳🥳 great outcome! So pleased for you!

(I bet he's livid)

I am so pleased for you and your Dd

That sounds brilliant, OP - I am very pleased for you!

That's so great!!!

Presumably now if he doesn't comply with the new order you can apply to court to have a penal order (or whatever it's called) attached so he could be arrested and police can force him to return her?

Great news!
Do you have power of arrest if he withholds her?

Congratulations on getting that result.

Also well done. Because he has tried everything to scare you, intimidate you, put you down and make you give up and you have powered through. You have been an absolute role model of a powerful woman.

Congratulations!
Justice and common sense prevail.

That's such good news!

What a fantastic outcome, I think we all desperately hoped knew his lies and unreasonable behaviour would bite him in the arse.

Have a massive glass of wine and smile.

Well done for staying so calm and composed in the face of extreme provocation. You are indeed awesome.

So pleased for you and your kids.

Omg! That's brilliant! I can totally see why you're cautiously optimistic, but really positive start for you all.

Except him. He's such a CUNT!

Despite him withholding her on 2 different occasions as there was no court order in place at the time, they wouldn't put a prohibitive steps order or powers of arrest in place, they did however express his stupidity and unreasonableness at his actions. I think possibly trying to be diplomatic.

I am a little in shock at the moment we have finally got here. I am extremely tired - emotions and due to lack of sleep from the fear of the outcome for the last week.

I think hopefully the evil little fucker sitting in my shoulder should hopefully start dissipate some what now as we actually can look to the future.

Well done you. You were lucky with those 3 magistrates. Most are not competent to deal with the intricacies of family court. (I cant understand why any intelligent government minister could have ever thought that would a good idea. Sorry answered my own thought - they didnt think and didnt care). Lay magistrates are no place for family court decisions. Hope your family thrive now without that pressure.

I have followed your threads from the start. Fantastic result but no more than you deserve

I'm so pleased for you all! Now you know he's delusional and other people know he is. It isn't you and never was.

This is fantastic news, I hope you have a cheeky big chocolate cake to celebrate with your children this weekend

Amazing! So glad that you have majority custody! I bet you're so relieved xx

This is great and although they cant arrest AT THE MOMENT, you now DO have a court order so if he starts pissing around again Im pretty sure they will slap a PSO on him.

Brilliant news for you and your DD

Wonderful!!! I honestly think you got the best outcome you could have hoped for.

That's pretty much what my BFF had, hers included exact times for pick up/drop off and myriad other 'rules' to keep him from jerking her around the way he had been. She kept a strict calendar showing whose weekends and holidays were when and also documented any requests/refusals for changes in days, no shows, late pick up/drop offs, etc. I'd suggest you do the same. At the very least, he'll try to jerk you around for awhile trying to disrupt your plans by demanding last minute changes in days or times. Keep a record of it.

Luckily in the US, not returning a child is 100% enforceable by the police, no 'extra steps' needed in the custody paperwork. Too bad the UK doesn't have the same. It's almost stupid for the courts to spend the time to make a decision when the troublesome parent knows there are no 'teeth' in it.

Oh well, I still say he'll get bored with trying to jerk you around if you stay calm and don't let him get a rise out of you or ruin your plans. It worked that way for BFF. Eventually her ex completely buggered off. It was sad for their son, but the loser was into drugs and spent the time with his son badmouthing her and lying about how she 'wouldn't let' him see their son (translation; he was too high or drunk to be bothered). In the end, her son was better off without him.

Well done op. So what happens now if he takes her from nursery or doesn't return her?

That is excellent news! I'm sure you are celebrating tonight, and then sleeping soundly. 🎉

Quickly opened app before going to work to see your update...
F'ing well done. I assume he got DD back to you, whatever his reasoning. It was a seriously pointless action, & in no way better for DD.
Try & rest !