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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

943 replies

awesmum · 12/03/2019 19:00

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

OP posts:
Peridot1 · 03/04/2019 13:02

Not sure if I’ve posted on your threads before but I’ve been following. In shock at some of his antics. Wishing you well today. Really hope court goes well for you.

AcrossthePond55 · 03/04/2019 13:07

He really is NOT his 'own best friend' there, is he? It just speaks to his monumental ego that the automatically thinks what he says is 'Moses down from the Mountain'.

I think you'll be walking out of court, if not with a shit eating grin on your face, at least an expression of wry amusement.

Soverytiredofeverythinggoingon · 03/04/2019 13:08

Best of luck, hope they wipe the floor with him, nasty deranged shit that he is.

EL8888 · 03/04/2019 13:31

Good luck with it all! So many vibes xx

safeea · 03/04/2019 13:44

You are a strong woman. This might be tough but you are tougher. Flowers

purpleboy · 03/04/2019 13:50

Best of luck. Thinking of you all, hopefully the judge sees sense! Xxx

GummyGoddess · 03/04/2019 14:31

Wishing you all the luck in the world. I hope it's all going in your DD's favour.

JammyGem · 03/04/2019 14:46

Delurking just to wish you luck today OP. You're really an inspiration Flowers

Queenofthestress · 03/04/2019 14:46

I dont think even his own barrister likes him...

HopeMumsnet · 03/04/2019 14:55

Hi all,
Best of luck with your case, awesmum. We see that someone's kindly mentioned raising funds and when that happens we're obligated to post this little speech.

We've had reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. Though, we strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Good luck with everything, awesmum, apols for butting in on your thread. Flowers

WhoKnewBeefStew · 03/04/2019 15:39

Good luck OP Flowers

FuzzyPixel · 03/04/2019 16:10

Hoping it's all going well for you Awesmum.

Applesandpears23 · 03/04/2019 16:38

Thinking of you and hoping it went well.

awesmum · 03/04/2019 17:12

Hello lovely people
I wish I could impart good news. I have an order in place - he has her tonight and returns her tomorrow- that is it, because guess what - I am back to court tomorrow!

We got in he lied his fucking arse off! The judges called him on it. He lied, and lied and lied again.

The good news we are in tomorrow otherwise it would be after June.

My barrister said she has the make of him and his barrister said to mine - she's had enough of him today!

So I now have to tell my boss - I am dreading that. He's been great but his patience will only last so far.

What it fell down on was he (cu*t) would agree to an interim order if I gave him an extra night - I gave him one - he then said it wasn't enough, he wanted another one.

Oh and he shouted out in court again!

Off home now to hug my big babies.

Thanks for hanging in there with me Thanks

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 03/04/2019 17:15

I'm sure your boss will be fine, even if you need to take a day's unpaid leave.

Good luck for tomorrow, I'm sure you knew he would lie and eventually this will truly count against him.

Mrsmummy90 · 03/04/2019 17:17

What a piss take! At least you're back in tomorrow. Keeping everything permanently crossed for you!

RandomMess · 03/04/2019 17:18

Well the judges saw through him straight away it seems...

His barrister has had enough already.

Shown his true colours!

Thanks
longtimelurkerhelen · 03/04/2019 17:31

FFS Sounds like the "judges" are giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Hopefully tomorrow he will be completely unreasonable his usual self and not get any contact.

Did your solicitor bring up the health concerns and how unsuitable his work environment is for her?

So angry they let him have her even for one night.

Flowers
Minkies11 · 03/04/2019 17:40

My God he's like a cockroach - you just can't kill him! But I think he's really starting to lose now and you are coming out on top.

ShutTheFridgeUp · 03/04/2019 17:58

Ive been lurking since the beginning and just popping in to say that I think you are absolutely fucking incredible. You are being so strong and taking no shit. Keep being you as you are doing fantastically!
I'm off back to lurk behind my hedge

GummyGoddess · 03/04/2019 18:01

What does your barrister think will happen? Is there anything you need to get before tomorrow? Like maybe a supporting letter from nursery if gp letter has already been shown?

JaneEyre07 · 03/04/2019 18:03

I think most bosses would be very understanding given your circumstances.

He's a complete twat, isn't he, but then it's great that he's showing his true colours. I can't imagine any judge would award custody to someone whose idea of childcare is taking them to work............

WitchDancer · 03/04/2019 18:07

Was it brought up about the lack of care for her when she stays with him?

awesmum · 03/04/2019 18:18

Funny thing - my barrister spoke about 'D.D. best interest.' 'DD welfare.' 'DD health and wellbeing.' 'DD access to her parents and siblings.' 'DD's activities.' And how I have never attempted to stop or prevent access.
His barrister was talking about 'Mr Twat's rights.' 'Mr Twats access.' 'What Mr Twat wants.' 'What Mr Twat feels.

As we were still in court and not finished at 4.45 and we still had to go back in, I asked my barrister if he'd organised DD to be collected from nursery as it finished at 5.30 - so she went and asked him - now baring in mind he's had her every Wednesday since the beginning of January and picked her up from nursery (except when he stole her) he's response was -'I don't even know where she is.' Hmm

Then .... oh it gets better.... he went to collect her from nursery- I get a phone call from nursery whilst he's there saying that they (nursery) had been bad mouthing him in court and he really wasn't happy with them. The manager was ever so good with him. I explained to her all that was said about them in nursery was that it was only due to them informing me that he had dropped her off I knew she had been returned. She explained to him if she felt a need to report him she would not be intimidated or bullied by his behaviour and would do so as her concern wasn't him it was DD.

OP posts:
Weejo39 · 03/04/2019 18:23

He's an absolute arse wipe! Hoping all goes well tomorrow and the judge has the benefit of overnight to reflect on what a controlling entitled twat he is.