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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

943 replies

awesmum · 12/03/2019 19:00

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

OP posts:
Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 02/04/2019 23:52

All the very best for tomorrow. You deserve it!

TheFormidableMrsC · 03/04/2019 01:07

Good luck OP!

Kiskacsa · 03/04/2019 06:29

Good luck OP. As a solicitor, albeit one in an unhelpful area, please please please make an SRA report about previous solicitor, unforgivable that she has been so useless and given you such incorrect advice.

Disfordarkchocolate · 03/04/2019 07:16

@awesmum Good Morning. I'll be thinking of your family today, remember how strong you.

Liz38 · 03/04/2019 07:39

Good luck today. Will be thinking of you and hoping that common sense prevails!Flowers (couldn't find a shamrock)

pointythings · 03/04/2019 07:48

Fingers crossed for you today. Flowers

WitchDancer · 03/04/2019 07:55

Thinking of you today

MotherOfDragonite · 03/04/2019 08:07

You are a mama bear protecting her cubs and we are all in your corner. Your last solicitor sounds ridiculous; thank goodness you have better representation now.

oh4forkssake · 03/04/2019 08:21

Thinking of you today - good luck.

Bethanyg25 · 03/04/2019 08:29

Not sure if this has been suggested or if you find this inappropriate/offensive i really apologise in advance but surely this must all be costing you a bloody fortune and the last thing you need to worry about is money! We could set up a go fund me, if you need extra cash for whatever you need to do to get this thing sorted!

Barmaid101 · 03/04/2019 08:47

Thinking of you today!

Mrsmummy90 · 03/04/2019 10:13

@Bethanyg25 I'm normally against this sort of thing on Mumsnet but on this occasion I'd be happy to but only if the op is in control of it all.

AprilBaby29 · 03/04/2019 10:19

Good luck today, hope it all goes well!

Mix56 · 03/04/2019 10:36

I am praying that the judge understands the depth of the abuse. & potential damage to DD
X is deranged.

RhubarbandGin · 03/04/2019 10:59

I been following this thread for a long time, but I have not commented as I didn't feel I had anything to add. Just wanted to break cover and say how wonderful you are, how hard you are fighting for your family and just how strong you are. You rock! Good luck today!!

londonginge · 03/04/2019 11:32

Similarly to some of the posts above. Long time lurker and admirer of your strength here! I've been thinking of you regularly and hope everything goes well for you today. X

Bethanyg25 · 03/04/2019 11:49

@mrsmummy90 absolutely

justilou1 · 03/04/2019 11:50

Oh god I hope that the judge is sensible and makes a very quick decision!!! (In your favour, of course!)

Original poster
awesmum · 03/04/2019 11:59

@Bethanyg25 that is the kindest thing, thank you. Yes is is costing a bloody fortune! Currently I am ok, my new solicitor has agreed to work half price - due to fuck ups and my income. Hope things should be good. I have sold some stuff - not the kids, so have a little buffer to tide me over for the next court case as well - on the proviso we can get a few things sorted today and he gets put in his place and doesn't throw too many spanner's in the works in between. You did actually me tear up. Hold fire - I may call on you but at the moment I am fine x

OP posts:
Original poster
awesmum · 03/04/2019 12:16

When I pulled up in the car park I got out to pay he pulled right in front of me and just sat staring in his oh so intimidating manner he has. I started to get the shakes massively. I went back to my car - a new one he didn't know- it was very nice having a bit of anonymity for a little bit.
I went back to the car to the boot to get bits for court out, he waited and stared not moving. When I started to walk to court he leapt (I say leapt he sort of bumbled in his troll like fashion) out of the car to follow me. I abruptly did 180 back to car, waited for him to go and then moved my car.

How the hell does he still put the fear of god into me, it's an involuntary response. I suppose it's as my body is used to him to bring there 24/7 and relaxing to a degree. I become almost immobile.

I have met my barrister who is lovely. I put my position. He's put his, exactly the same he wants 50/50 and I am trying to cut him out of DD's life because I did it with my older children's dad- erm no fuckwit he doesn't see them because he treated us like shit and they made the decision, careful you're acting in a similarly unpleasant fashion and when DD gets old enough - like they were she may make the same decision - he does however pay maintenance until you!

He's barrister hasn't bothered going back to him with an offer after hearing his thoughts- mine raised their eyebrows and said 'they didn't see any point after speaking to him.'

Just for a giggle what he's made a statement about having her extra days and not returning and informing me why is
There wasn't anything agreed so I thought I would keep her.

My barrister and I were aghast. This will go down really well in court!

I am in for a long wait now, so we shall see what happens.

OP posts:
MissingInActionYouSay · 03/04/2019 12:20

I have been on your thread since the first post but have NCd a few times. Good luck with everything. It is just awful that he has put you through this.

Mrsmummy90 · 03/04/2019 12:21

He is a fucking c*nt!!!!!!!
I hope they wipe the floor with him!

Are they going to make a decision today?

Sending you big hugs! You are so strong. Keep your chin up xxx

justilou1 · 03/04/2019 12:22

Oh Honey! Big hugs from Australia and sending you strength to get through the waiting! This man is clearly completely delusional. So pleased he is making it so obvious for everyone! X

alliwantisagoodnightssleep · 03/04/2019 12:22

Delurking to wish you all the best of luck today.

Mix56 · 03/04/2019 12:44

I hope they wipe the floor with him too !