Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

[awesmum]

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

So what are you going to do between now and Wednesday? Are you going to keep her off nursery in case he turns up and takes her?

I'm speechless on how he can do this to his daughter. What a nasty piece of work! Some small consolation that it is unlikely he will be allowed unsupervised contact, for her welfare

Holy shit op, he's a right bastard.

I'd probably try and take her to a walk in or hospital tbh, get it on record ASAP so they know it burst with him and not you.

I'm speechless at his "care" for DD.
He doesn't care for her at all.

Sending strength and hugs for the day ahead OP. Keep going, you are a strong and incredible mother to your beautiful children.

Been lurking but your DD's eardrum has pushed me to post - what an utterly shit excuse for a parent he is I hope it shocks the authorities as much as it shocked me and that they come down on him like a ton of bricks.

He’s awful.

I hope the GP records it as neglectful, to help your case.

I know that you feel strongly about DD going to nursery...but is there anyway (once she is better, as I imagine you will keep her off) that you could change the times for collection? Maybe ask your DD1 to collect her earlier? I’m just trying to think of a way to avoid him doing this again.

He's not due to have her next until Wednesday afternoon- after court. So he shouldn't pick her up from nursery at all, I assume as he's been served court papers he won't be that stupid.

If he does I would be able to say how unstable / unreasonable/ unreliable and quiet frankly dangerous he is.

I hate to say this, but I feel really concerned for your DD's safety, knowing that your ex will be angry about being served court papers and knowing how unreasonably he has behaved recently (and with no concern for her wellbeing).

Is it at all possible that he will try to punish you for the impending court action by removing DD again?

Another lurker just saying I followed your previous thread and you're amazing!! All your dcs are so lucky to have you ❤️

Your poor DD, and poor you. I just wanted to say that my DD had a burst ear drum about a year ago and she only started showing signs of discomfort the same afternoon it burst. I’m not defending your evil ex in the slightest, just trying to put your mind at rest that your DD might not have been in pain for too long.

I hope it all gets sorted out soon for you and that man is never allowed unsupervised access again.

I agree that you shouldn't assume anything now that he has been served. I know you know him very well but he may react unexpectedly, or dangerously. He may not of course but bear it in mind.

Maybe given your concerns the nursery could consider stalling if he turns up to allow you to get there?

Be very careful here as you have sent her to nursery and he’s taken her from there and returned there being neglected. The courts and nursery can say you allowed this too.

Not to scare you he’s escalating for the worst. With his neglect of her.

He might not be due to pick her up but he can, there is no court order saying he can’t.

He’s been served and you know he will be angry don’t endanger her now as he will be at his worst.

I agree. I'd try to have her looked after by someone else or keep her with me. He left her with a broken ear drum, what else is he capable of?

Hope the GP appointment goes ok today. You may need a few minutes without her in the room if you can.

I think you should speak to social services about this. If nothng else, just to get it logged with them. This is neglect and is a safeguarding issue.

Thinking of you! Fingers crossed common sense will prevail and the court be in your favour!

Drs this afternoon. Social services have come back again and said they're not interested. We will see if that's any different after going to the doctors.

New solicitor is top notch already and all over it. They've given me more advice in one 10 minute phone call than the others did in 5 months.

She's not at nursery now till Wednesday so no chance of him getting her with no say so.

Hope all goes well at the docs, and so happy your new solicitor is more helpful than the last. Thinking of you

Sounds promising re your lawyer. As others have said you should probably report your previous one given . God forbid she continues to give others such poor advice.

I really hope you are all able to relax and enjoy each other this weekend.

Good that she isn’t back at nursery till after the court case.

What was the reasons from SS to not get involved. Are they thinking it’s tit for tat over access again when it clearly isnt. I know they are overworked and underpaid but for fuck sake they need a rocket up thier arse for this.

Her ear has not ruptured, thank goodness, she does have an infection and they are absolutely filthy. The dr has done a letter for the court about his very obvious failure to treat her eczema and the state of her ears.

This evening I am going to sort out more paperwork for my solicitor because the old one failed to send most of it 🤦🏼‍♀️. Then I am forgetting about him and his rubbish for the weekend and going to focus on having some fun with DC.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and fingers crossed I don't bump into or have to deal with him.

Oh yes social services think this is a tit for tat about access. I do sometimes wonder if I am mad. But maybe I just have higher expectations for what is appropriate care for my daughter.

@awesmum social services see things I don't want to imagine I'm afraid. It's probably very low-grade neglect to them. You may get more traction if nursery or your GP contact social services.

The mind boggles, how do ears get so filthy in just a few days???