Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

943 replies

awesmum · 12/03/2019 19:00

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 27/03/2019 19:59

What a day! I'd say it's a 'two-piece' (of cake) day, at least!

I'm glad you're getting a new solicitor! And that DD will be home tomorrow!

I'm in the US, and here if you are a 'party' to an action, you can't serve the papers. If you can't get a friend or whoever to do it, you pay a process server to do it or sometimes the local marshal will. I guess it's different in the UK. Just out of curiosity, would you delivering them by hand to his solicitor's office be considered the same as handing them to him?

If not, I agree that someone needs to film the delivery AND I would have a least two people with me as witnesses (even if they stand off to the side somewhere). Can you deliver them to his office? At least he'd have to 'behave' there (I hope).

Original poster
awesmum · 27/03/2019 20:03

@AcrossthePond55 the court suggested I could ask the police to do it, so I may try them. I will be honest I Sam in no rush to do it.

Failing the police you can employ an independent person to do it.

I don't think it would be ideal for me to do it.

I think I may have to bailiff who served him last times number - he wasn't keen on him so may refuse though. 😆

OP posts:
Tiddleypops · 27/03/2019 20:19

Howling at the fact that he failed to pin the speeding fine on you, especially because he looks like a poisonous troll 😂

You are amazing. I'm so glad to hear you have a new solicitor lined up. It sounds as though things will start to move in the next few days. Good luck Flowers

RandomMess · 27/03/2019 20:20

I have to say the speeding thing warmed the cockles of my heart...

GummyGoddess · 27/03/2019 20:25

I am so pleased for you all, I hope things are slowly starting to look up a bit and you get a good sleep this evening.

longtimelurkerhelen · 27/03/2019 20:30

I know it is horrible but when he returns her could you photograph any visible signs of his neglect? Knotted hair, dirty, unkempt appearance.

WTF is wrong with you Solicitor, not telling you immediately about him returning her! She must know you have been frantic with worry. There seems to be no sense of urgency whatsoever. So angry on your behalf.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/03/2019 20:40

@awesmum Well, for the price of round trip airfare I'd be more than happy to do it for you!!! 😆

Original poster
awesmum · 27/03/2019 20:49

If I had the money I pay for you all to come and do it, we could go together, imagine that 😁

OP posts:
Applesandpears23 · 27/03/2019 20:55

Oh God, sorry to hear you are going through this again. I am amazed that you have managed to get a new court date. Well done. I hope she does come home tomorrow.

HazelBite · 27/03/2019 21:10

You have to serve so as there are 3 clear working days before the hearing.
If he chooses not to attend you are quids in, but he must be made aware of the hearing.

RandomMess · 27/03/2019 21:26

Is that days or working days?

justilou1 · 27/03/2019 21:33

OP, I would fly from the other side of the to personally staple the papers to his face if I could.

Ginger1982 · 27/03/2019 22:08

Up here we would have sheriff officers do it, so there must be a similar mechanism where you are?

Mrsmummy90 · 27/03/2019 22:18

I would happily travel to you to help you! 😁 loving a pp's suggestion of stapling them to his face! How about a swift kick in the crotch while we're at it?

In all seriousness though, I'd ask the police to do it. Seems far safer that way. Please don't do it until after he's returned her though.

AcrossthePond55 · 28/03/2019 00:19

OMG! Can't you just see a herd 'murder' of MNers piling into his office to hand him papers? And then saying "While we're here.....we have a few things we'd like to say to you!".

He'd shit a plaid rabbit!

CanuckBC · 28/03/2019 04:07

I would love to come from Canada and serve him! Retired police here😁👮‍♀️ Would be fantastic to see his face with my accent saying, sir, you have been served, picture and video taken🤣

Mix56 · 28/03/2019 08:10

When you have a new Solicitor, Please do report the old one, Unbelievable incompetence.

HazelBite · 28/03/2019 08:50

Awesmum, the court papers must be served today as you have to have 3 clear working days before the next hearing ie Friday. Monday, Tuesday.
This is to give the defending party time to gather any defence they have, it is considered "fair".
Especially where a child is involved, they see to see both parents/parties.

HazelBite · 28/03/2019 08:51

"need to see" oops!

BeUpStanding · 28/03/2019 09:09

Brilliant that there's some movement finally - what a relief.

Count me in to the 'murder' of MNetters marching in to tell him what's what! And afterwards we should all head over to that shit solicitor...

BeUpStanding · 28/03/2019 09:10

(That sounds far more menacing then I intended Blush)

oh4forkssake · 28/03/2019 15:21

Please do report that solicitor to the Solicitors Regulation people when you have the energy. She sounds so horrific.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Disfordarkchocolate · 28/03/2019 16:17

I hope you managed to serve the papers today, at about 5 to 5 if you can to mirror his tactics.

longtimelurkerhelen · 28/03/2019 17:32

Hope the serving went smoothly today and your daughter is back in your care.

Original poster
awesmum · 28/03/2019 18:39

I have DD she's fine filthy dirty, her ears are black, her nails should have been cut, her eczema is bright red and widely spread. I have taken pictures.

She's being a monkey baby, and not wanting to leave the house too. I can't be more than 3cms away or she shrieks.

Nursery are doing a little party for her tomorrow as she missed it on Tuesday.

She was so happy to go back to school today, she played in the garden with her friends and had stories and singing. A bit different to sitting at work watching telly.

Papers were served - had to post them through his front door- I have video as I wasn't able to locate him and time was running out. He did drive past me about 5 minutes later after I had left.

New solicitor has papers from the old one.

OP posts: