Handhold - Told H I want a divorce, the fallout and rise again - hopefully

[awesmum]

Part 2

Well I never thought I would have to make a follow up page.

Thank you all lovely people for the handholds, if you've read the previous thread you know what I have been through, and I can't begin to explain how wonderful I found the support on here. So Thank you ... on I go!

I am a bit reticent about the advice to email Chairman of Social Services committee as well as your local Councilor. A relative of mine did similar and got a really hard time from the Social Worker's manager and I think it was rasied , inappropriately IMO, at a Child in Need hearing. They had to point out that they knew these people anyway as their father had been on the Council with them and they had met in that context. Might be worth contact with your Councillor though.
I certainly agree that you should follow up converstions with HV, SS etc with email confirmation of the conversation as a record. I think you need to lay on with SS about his work place- safeguarding especially and lack of appropriate routine and lack of attention to her skin condition.
for you and for dd

Just checking in awesmum and i hope there is progress for you today

Well it's been a hell of a day.

I am sitting outside court having seen the judge, waiting for an emergency court date. Which he must be informed of. Because he has to be there.

She's endured social services are now involved and that should kick Cafcass into again.

I am feeling drained. But I am hoping this may kick things up a bit rather than waiting for end of June.

I know it's going to pit's a few people off, but there we go.

She couldn't put anything in place today as he has to be there.

Do you believe the judge understood that his behaviour is not in DD best interests?

You are one strong woman.

Well done OP. Virtual unmumsnetty hugs

I think you'd need to sack your current solicitor to hire a new one. Please do this and find one that's really recommended. Shit advice is worse than none.

My 4th solicitor was the one that stuck by me for 7 years and was cheap and absolutely turned my ex into a gibberish loon in front of the judge every time he dragged me back to court.

Haven't read your previous thread, but been through contested contact with violent ex.

I cannot emphasise enough how helpful Rights of Women are - as PPs have shared. Their advice line is free. They are all practicing female lawyers who know their shit. They put me in touch with a charity who advised on the contact issues.

At least the ball is rolling. What specific emergency order are you going for? I thought it could be done without him.

Hopefully it'll all be sorted within the week. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now! Stay strong. You are doing SO well!

I genuinely am so proud of you xxx

Thank you everyone.

I just asked my current solicitor if I could have the Emergency Legal Aid as informed by Legal Aid themselves, she said 'No ....' because I didn't go into a refuge and my child has not been removed by social services.

So .... whilst waiting I spoke to Women's Aid, and I think I have a new solicitor.

I can't sign off the old ones today as I am stuck an hour and a half away still, but will get it sorted soon.

Failing that anyone want to by a kidney?

*buy

Thats great news. You are an amazing mum. No need to sell a kidney it sounds like the wheels of justice are finally moving in the right direction. You need to change your user name to awesomemum

This is brilliant news! That solicitor needs reporting to the SRA. She is appalling and should not be dealing with cases like these.

I am really pleased that there seems to be progress...what I am concerned about is him having to be there...not in my experience. What are they going to do if he doesn't turn up (which is often the case). An order will allow the police to go and fetch DD and bring her home. I hope this can be done as urgently as possible.

KOKO OP

Well done OP. You have to stand up to this man he is a nasty price of work. Your poor child

Absolutely brilliant news op! You are so strong, really proud of you

Great news re WA recommendation. Good luck and well done.

I am so pleased to hear that there is some movement! Your solicitor sounds awful and I am also delighted that you can now find somebody better!

What has been happening in the meantime with DD - does he still have her?! And are you ok? (ish?)

So glad to hear something is finally getting done. Stay strong op. We're all behind you. Xxx

Was a date set for the emergency hearing?

Just got home - it's been a long day.

Emergency court hearing is set for Wednesday coming, a long time yes, but does allow me to secure another solicitor.

My old solicitor along with telling me the wrong form, tells me she got an email YESTERDAY from his solicitor saying DD will be home tomorrow 🤦🏼‍♀️

I have to, me, personally, serve home the court papers to him. That will be fun.

Anyway the wheels are in motion.

On a side note, you may remember me saying about him telling the police I was driving when caught speeding - that too was today in court, and they could see it wasn't me driving, I am not the most beautiful woman in the world - nearly, but neither am I a poisonous troll like him.

So 2 wins today for me and 2 you fucked up buds to him.

On a plus plus note DD18 bakes a double chocolate cake whilst I was at court, so came home to that!

Thank god you're getting her back tomorrow.
Please ask nursery to ban him from the property! He'll just continue to abduct her otherwise until a court order is put in place.

So so glad that the cogs are starting to turn! Xxx

Also, film yourself serving him the papers. That way he can't say that he never got them.

All sounds so much more positive I guess get her back tomorrow then serve papers and refuse to handover until after court,

Yes can someone film you serving him tje papers?