Dating thread 150 - I get knocked down, but I get up again....

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Morning All

MrRY - is 38, I'm 51. So, this makes me a Cougar although my Mum said I was a cradle snatcher! Lol. He's got a few days off work so decided to spend them with me. He has a 4yr old son who he's keen for me to meet and he's obviously already met my son. He gets on well with his ex, as I do mine, so no drama there. He's told me he's not chatting to anyone else or looking. I haven't exactly done the same as I'm still chatting to MrGardener, although he's sensed something is off. I'll obviously let him know after the w/e. MrRY is fit, hits the right spots in bed, has a decent job, laid back, only 10min walk away, nice looking, gorgeous eyes and accent. Someone pinch me now! It'll probably all end in tears but can honestly see no red flags for once.

warrior - what an absolute creepy thing to do, you poor woman.

Will catch up with everyone else later.

tooold congratulations love! It sounds perfect. If you can spend that much time together easily I say you're onto a winner!

ItsA I've been back on OLD just over a month and have had 5 dates with different people. Had a further 2 dates with one of them, Mr Sailor. I aim for one or two a week when I'm looking.

batshit thank you, I like that explanation! It might actually be the case, I think he is over-invested. Awkward indeed.

batshit thanks for the offer, I've PM'd you a link.

I've made a couple of rweaks already as MyOldBrain said I sounded too busy to actually fit any dating in.

Just need to try and find some photos of me doing 'stuff' other than standing in the lounge last night

Ant welcome aboard from a fellow, er, fellow!

The ladies on here are very helpful, and I love the openness and acceptance of the thread!

warrior I am also fuming. If you'd like me to have a quiet word, I own a baseball bat...

Looking forward to my dates this weekend!

@TooOldForThis67 awww that's amazing! There's 10 years between me (although I turn 37 very soon so it will be 11 on paper!) and my BF and he calls me a cougar to annoy me 😂
We honestly don't notice the age difference though, just enjoy it for what it is!
How long have you been seeing him?

@ant330
@gothamgirls buffalo make the best crisp sandwich ever.....

@tooold ahhhhh I am excited for you lol
@shit 82 is going ok so far only had to listen to baby shark 3 times hahahaha

I have always found age does not matter for myself people are just people and when they ate ready BAM hope anyone with dates tonight have a wicked time x

So I'm not really sure about Mr S today. He has banged on an on about wanting exclusivity and telling me how much he wants me and has no desires for anyone else etc.. I've been very wary as I met him on fab and well, that's not the usual style from there!
He's still logging on to fab, I feel a bit like he is playing me which is confusing as he doesn't need to, I'd be happy with fwb and no exclusivity..

30something He may be just having a nosey, it's like looking at a car crash on there. Not looking for anything but having a browse regardless. If it wasn't so easy to see when people have logged in /are online it perhaps wouldn't bother you so much?

30something when you first mentioned Mr S and his asking for exclusivity etc I did wonder....obvs there's a chance he's on there shutting down other convos or seeing if you're online?. But...i know men who like to sleep around but get upset when the women they're sleeping with are doing the same. Maybe you need to set some really clear ground rules? Like...if you want me to be exclusive...you do the same which means no going on fab. If you find out he's playing the field you are playing it too...that kind of Thing?

TooOldForThis67 Mr RY sounds great. Just enjoy yourself.

30somethingandsingle sounds like you need to have a talk with Mr S. If it's fwb then he's asking too much from you. Especially if it's not what you want.

warriorprincessandwidowed that bloke is so out of order. This thread will be happy to come over and explain a few things to him.

ItsAMiracle2015 since the beginning of the year I've had 10 first dates. One got to a second date but that was a disaster.
My date tonight is a second date and I feel he maybe more enthusiastic that me.
Last year I had around 20 first dates and only one made it to a second date.

@WarIsPeace that's a possibility, it would be much better in a way if I couldn't see ha!

@supercali77 yes that's what I'm concerned about- that he just doesn't want to share me but is happy to sleep around himself, he can think again if that's the case!
Of course there was also the 'verification' given a couple of weeks ago which showed he had met someone but had lied (we weren't exclusive then and it was honestly only the going out of his way to lie to me that irritated).

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking it was initially fwb, kind of still is. He's making me question myself why I don't want a relationship...I'm open to it I guess, just a teeny bit terrified of investing in someone and getting hurt again.

@30somethingandsingle I just suggest that because it's so easy to have a quick look, reply to a couple of messages and nosey through the meets going 'haha good luck with that pal' without any real intent to do anything. I'm sure there's minimal meeting happening as compared to a lot of daydreaming and aimless chatting...

30 my Fab-sourced FWB tells me he goes on Fab 'for a perv' which I find amusing and quite understandable really, given the bizarre nature of what is on there it may explain his lack of performance last night???. I don't go on Fab as it chose to delete me and 20 minutes was more than enough for me anyway. BUT - there has been no talk of exclusivity between us, and I wouldn't agree if he raised it as it is not what I want. I think there is a mixed message/double standard going on with your iron and you should hold firmly to what you want. If that coincides with what he wants, fine. If not, well...

30something have you actually said you'll be exclusive? Second guessing yourself and the verification is enough I'd say to hold back a little before committing yourself to anything

It's a bloody emotional minefield when casual sex leads to something more.

I'm super excited about my date with mr old iron tomorrow. I didn't bring up the exclusive chat the other night as we were in a tiny flipping street food place. Also...i got the sense that he's serious and interested in more so I'm gonna hang back on it a bit and wait and see. It's been years since I got the stomach flips.

Thanks ladies. I think he could quite possibly just be having a perv.. I can't really complain as I've logged in myself- maybe he is checking up on me?!
I have sort of agreed to exclusivity, I haven't been really clear as it's making me a bit nervous and has been very full on. Last night he was talking about going out on proper dates and then backtracking saying not a proper date because of my reaction. He messaged straight after he left and again first thing this morning.

If I judge him on his actions when I am with him then everything is fine, judge him on what he says and I need to run away! Ha!

Sorry, forgot who asked - I joined tinder and bumble boxing day and I've had 6 first dates since then - none have made it to a second date 🤷‍♀️

Ant I've pm'd you re your profile

So I have my first date from fab at 2pm today...havnt even named him as I am getting them all confused in my head!!!

It’s one of 6 dates booked for this weekend 😂

You all have me hooked. I’m going to create a Fab profile to have a perv er I mean nosey!

Best of luck Marlboro, 6 is some determination. Hope one of them tickles your fancy at least!
hidden my profiles this morning