I have namechanged for this, as it could be quite outing.
My mum died 2 and a half years ago and I my resilience has really taken a hit following that and I do struggle to cope at times.
He has a very mild learning difficulty, this has been exacerbated by excessive substance misuse (this was in a report by a psychologist). I grew up with him being a manipulative, violent (at times) alcoholic. He would then constantly be in a cycle of giving it up and going back to it.
He caused her immense hurt and worry but she always just persisted, trying to help him and take care of him.
When my mum died she left his inheritance to be left in trust with me and my husband as the trustees, she knew that he would either give it away to various undesirables that he knew, that exploited him, or that he would drink it all.
Anyhow, without the safety net of my mother, he just completely fell apart and it shone a light on the fact he cannot take care of himself. He is now in the position of having to have carers go in to see him daily to check his various medications and help him try and live independently.
There has been a recent situation with this arrangement whereby the Council stopped paying for his care for a period, we have now settled all this. However, during this period he was telling carers and social workers that I was refusing him money for things he needed (he never even asked me), telling me his carers were treating him badly (I spent so much time fighting his case over this), only to then find out its all bullshit.
Like I said earlier, since my mum died I don’t have the resilience to cope with things like I used to and trying to fight his corner against all the things he has been alleging, has been exhausting (I also live 240 miles away, have a stressful full time job and my own family), and then to find out that not only is it all lies, but he has also been lying about me, is just too much.
I feel like the worst person in the world right now for saying this but I feel like I have reached my breaking point, I feel like I resent the fact that I now have to look after the man who ruined my childhood, who abused my mother. I feel like all this time Ive worried myself sick trying to help him because I know deep down that if I don’t know one else will, but I feel like enough is enough, He has created all this drama and this entire situation for what? For his own entertainment? For attention? Maybe he has started drinking again??? Who knows.
But all I want to do right now, is write him a cheque for all his money and just cut him out, but I cant do that can I? I just feel so trapped.