Let me guess, this was an attempt to sew the seed of self doubt in your parenting abilities
The day before the second hearing (and luckily we settled then, and didn’t have to go to the third), in an email to my solicitor, he said that - I can’t remember the exact words he used - I had never known how to look after the children’s best interests. But he was awful during the divorce - once he realised it was really going ahead (I took him to court over the finances for various legitimate reasons).
Before he realised the divorce was serious, he did make an attempt to patch things up - but this was following literally months and months of us being estranged in the same house, and by that time I had seen a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of future freedom (I had been to see a solicitor who helped me all the way through the process - she did write to him suggesting mediation several times but he ignored that completely, and when he sold a property of his, she suggested we initiate financial proceedings, which is when he started to take notice) and I didn’t trust his about turn. But part of me was very tempted to get back into his bed - literally. This was after months and months of my sleeping on my dd’s bottom bunk.
So I let things proceed, and it was at that point that he was apparently immediately with someone else, and also during the financial proceedings he was really awful. Making them a lot more expensive.
However his attempt at patching things up haunts me at the moment - because some of it was heartfelt - and watching his disarray was very very hard.
I don’t know how I got through it all. After the divorce became serious, we were in the same house for another 7 awful months. This is following being estranged for almost a year (after an outburst of his which was the straw that broke the camel’s back).
What an actual nightmare.
He moved out in April of last year, and when you add the estrangement / divorce process and actual separation together - it is now a long time since I have known anything about his life.
So I don’t know what realisations he may have come to, or how he has changed.
I was with him for 22 years - a lifetime - I don’t know how you get over that. I know lots of people are in the same situation.
He has a lovely side to him, but I would say is maladjusted in relational terms - reacting very defensively to perceived slights - which is where the sometimes short temper and silent treatments come in. Yes and he also had a controlling side - I now have much much more autonomy. I actually have an input and a voice in terms of things that only he would have controlled - house and finance related.
But beneath all of that, I would say that the reasons we got together in the first place, pushing aside all the issues we have had (and there are things I could/should have done differently in the relationship) are still there. There is some way in which we are very similar - it is going to sound mad - some kind of vibrational frequency. And we have a family together.
His coming inside the house at the weekends is a problem - it sets me back. Yesterday I hid when he was picking my ds up, and then made sure I was out when he dropped him back off (but our cars crossed on the street 
). So I wasted a lot of time because I had wanted to finish painting a room and I was on tenterhooks wondering when he was going to reappear.