Heartbroken

[hemcurt]

My twins are nearly 1 and I'm disappointed with my parents. They've not stepped up and I am heartbroken. I ask them to babysit once in a while and they do but it's always like it's too much effort/tinged with - but don't be late (I would never ever take the piss- quite the opposite) but they make me feel like I would take the piss - like it's all too much.

Maybe they are intimidated by twins and aren't confidence but I'm sorry I was petrified when I found out I was going to be a first time parent to twins. I have no patience for my parents (who are supposed to be older, wiser and more confident than me) to say that they are scared - it's cowardly.

Growing up doesnt mean you do everything yourself . Quite the contrary in my opinion - no man is an island and we all depend on each other. Get off your high horses. No one is invulnerable.

The tone of your messages is awful. Your poor parents.

You are being unreasonable but I understand you are exhausted. I think you should talk with them about how much help and support you need x

Having kids is not a disability but it can be hard work doing it right. I find Im a better mum when I take care of myself and that means taking a break once in a while. It is difficult to do that just you and your partner. Yes we are all independent. I'm guessing no one on here visits their elderly grandparents? They had their lives now you get a chance to live yours?

I think it’s awful to say your parents are cowardly because they might find looking after twins difficult or worrying. How old are they out of interest?

What would you like them to do that they don't do?

The blind person comparison is outrageous.

Did you tell your parents what you expected of them before you decided to get pregnant? Did they agree to babysit when you wanted, for as long as you wanted? Or did you decide to have children and then expect them to “step up” and prove their love by doing whatever you want?

Did your parents tell you they would offer loads of support before/during your pregnancy? Is that why they are 'disappointing you'?
I have to say, I think people have been a little harsh. I suppose many of us do selfishly expect grandparents to 'want' to help. Its not about entitlement its about hoping they would want to spend time with grandchildren. I probably would also be a bit disappointed.
However, not all grandparents are like this and some do think they have served their time and just don't really want to do it. You have to just respect that.

If their daughter does it they should man up? They are cowardly .

Spending time with grandchildren isn’t the same as babysitting, especially when they’re asleep...

Yes the spending time
With grandkids comment. It breaks me that they dont want to so disappointing

Babysitting being involved with my life our lives as a family.

OP, you really aren't making much sense. I'm sorry to break this to you but you will NEVER get to take a break from being a parent, especially with one year-old twins. You can't just offload to someone else just 'because you need to take care of yourself and want a break...'

Happy mum
Happy kids.

Are you alright OP? You sound a bit hectic and dramatic. You can’t make people do what you want. Saying you’re heartbroken suggests you’re lacking a bit of perspective, it’s a big overreaction and it’s either the worst thing that’s ever happened to you - in which case may you’d life always be so blessed - or that something else is going on.

I think it's sad Op.
My parents aren't involved at all And I'm so jealous of my friends whose parents support them.
It does make things much easier knowing you can have these occasional night out, or if there's an emergency.
I plan on being a good grandparent if the opportunity presents itself. I don't want my children to go through what I've been through.
No advice but I understand and its rubbish

Parents in law are onboard. Its just my parents. I compare them

My kids get babysat maybe 4 times a year by gps.

My husband and I don't get a break together. You have to work with that I'm afraid op, you chose to have the babies so you really can't expect anyone else to want to babysit them. It's just a bonus if they do and it sounds like you have that already

If they’re not up to it you have to accept it and make other arrangements to allow you to take a break.

You chose to have babies. Yes I did. You chose to stand in the queue when someone sneezed and you caught a cold that led to a chest infection I'm sorry but because of that the doctor cant see you.

OP, what do you think your parents (and the rest of the world) owe you?

Although I think you're over reacting slightly, I think you've come in for some harsh judgement here op. I think what op was trying to say is that she feels that the gps don't want to be involved when asked and she feels bad when she has to ask them as she knows the reaction she will get from them.
I don't think she thinks she is entitled just perhaps disappointed that the gps aren't as enthusiastic as she probably envisaged when falling pregnant.

Lay off a little guys.

OP I would like to suggest that you see a GP. You're understandably struggling but I'm not sure your parents are the best people to help you here. I think perhaps talking to a professional might be of more help. There is an organisation called HomeStart that helps new families and I think you might benefit from some day-to-day help like this. Please see your GP.

So you have one st of grandparens who help out and you are complaining that they both won’t? My parents are amazing but are also in their 70’s now and my ex MIL who is 60 has barely bothered with her grandkids since they were born, which hurts but they are not her kids and her babysitting was never a condition of us having children.
If it’s hard work for you then I’m guessing it will be even harder for your parents.

What I give them. I always care about them and make sure I'm there for them. Because they arent there for me I dont want /cant be there for them. Its making me want to drift off. I'll probably be accused of being selfish now?