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Original poster

Do you do your husbands washing?

120 replies

Evabear13 · 15/02/2019 17:56

Hello lovely ladies, after a bit of advice. My husband has returned from a weeks holiday leaving me and our two daughters behind. I'm working a lot but always make sure there is a fresh cooked meal, food in cupboards and washing done. He very grumpily said to me yesterday " the house is a shithole". I am a little lost for words as I work incredibly hard- I literally cannot do anymore if I tried. So I thought I would leave his washing to him, going to suggest it tonight. See if he can cope with looking after himself at least a little bit. He does have a very demanding job but so do I ! Do you do your partners washing? I would say it is one of the most time consuming jobs! Any advice greatly appreciated!

OP posts:
TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 15/02/2019 17:57

I think you have bigger issues than just the washing OP.

AnyFucker · 15/02/2019 18:01

Did he roll his sleeves up and start tackling the "shithole" ?

No ? All down to you , I expect.

JamesBlonde1 · 15/02/2019 18:01

Yes I do. Seems a daft waste to do it all separate.

Also, he cleans my car for me and mows our grass (amongst many other things). I wouldn’t expect him to wash his own car, put all the stuff away and suggest I wash my own.

How odd.

princesskatethefirst · 15/02/2019 18:02

What trendy said with bells on!!!

FusionChefGeoff · 15/02/2019 18:03

We both do each other's. Big basket, sometimes he puts it on, sometimes I do.

But I agree with pp it's not just the washing really - I would be very unhappy if that was his reaction after being away for a week!!!

DH would have immediately rolled up his sleeves to sort it out whilst telling me to sit down and watch 'crap about hospitals or something'.

He'd have more to worry about than doing his washing if he spoke to me like that.

Threewheeler1 · 15/02/2019 18:03

Sorry OP, I'd probably be tempted to tell him to poke a washing tablet up his bum after that comment.
Perhaps he could roll up his manly sleeves and get to work showing you what the house should look like and then he could carry on with that, seeing as he's an expert. And he's had a nice relaxing holiday so he must be full of energy.

Sexnotgender · 15/02/2019 18:04

I think you’re asking the wrong question...

But yes, I do the washing and that includes my husbands clothes as we are a family and it would be a little odd not to. Like he cooked dinner this evening and I’d have been a bit hacked off if he hadn’t cooked any for me.

Traveler001 · 15/02/2019 18:04

No, we each do specific housework responsibilities and laundry is one of my boyfriends jobs but honestly this sounds much bigger than laundry.

Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt · 15/02/2019 18:04

I wash, he hangs out and puts away. Best for full loads, etc.

If he's swanned off for a week, leaving me to hold the fort and came back and said that, I'd have done un-mumsnetty things to him.

anniehm · 15/02/2019 18:04

Yes, not sure he knows how to operate it (not kidding) but I'm part time so it's part of the deal

sonlypuppyfat · 15/02/2019 18:05

Well I would say just wash it but after the way he's spoken to you he can get stuffed

MargotLovedTom1 · 15/02/2019 18:05

He's been on holiday on his own and then complains about the state of the house? Arsehole.
And I don't wash my husband's clothes; I do mine and the three DC so always enough to fill a load. He does his at the weekends.

happymummy12345 · 15/02/2019 18:06

I always do all the washing. Pointless to do washing separately

VioletBedframe · 15/02/2019 18:06

Tell him you’re going on a weeks holiday and leaving the kids and house and washing to him.

MsAwesomeDragon · 15/02/2019 18:07

I don't do dh's washing. That's one of his jobs, so he does mine and dds too.

I agree with the others that you have for issues than just his washing. If you're both working you both need to be active in looking after the home and the kids.

PeterPiperPickedWrong · 15/02/2019 18:07

I do it because I also do DCs washing and I sort a load based on colours. DH also does my washing & DC washing so it’s no big deal.
There are times I’ve complained the house is a shit hole if he has left lots of crap lying around and vice versa.

However in 20 years of marriage neither of us has ever had a holiday leaving DC and DP behind.

Bananalanacake · 15/02/2019 18:08

Yes. Complete waste of electricity, water, money to do it separately. I am a Sahm and he works full time. He would never call the house a shithole . He would ask me nicely to clean the bathroom.

FlagFish · 15/02/2019 18:09

I do all the washing. I also work part time whereas DH works full time. But if he called the house a shithole, I’d be furious!

dementedpixie · 15/02/2019 18:09

I do all the washing but dh does the cooking so it evens out.

GirlOnIt · 15/02/2019 18:09

I tend to do the washing, Dp does the ironing. I don't generally do his work stuff though as that's a load in its self and he's always got his pockets full of stuff so he empties them and puts them in tonight usually.

When he's been away (holiday or working), he'll come home and put a load straight on. He likes to get everything unpacked and cases/bags put away as soon as.

caffeinebuzz · 15/02/2019 18:10

I do all the washing, but he pulls his weight in other ways. If one of us has a busy week and things have slipped, the other will help pick up the slack. Like PP have said, you've got a bigger issue than laundry!

DwayneDibbly · 15/02/2019 18:11

Different scenario, but shortly after I had my DC my DP told me I was lazy and the house was a tip. I'd never had a baby before and was teetering on the edge of post-natal depression. That was one of the comments that convinced me to leave him. If he doesn't see the work you do and appreciate you for it, chuck him in the bin.

Mitzimaybe · 15/02/2019 18:14

We don't have "his" and "hers" washing. Sometimes he does our washing, sometimes I do. We'll usually consult each other first e.g. "I'm going to do pinks etc. Is that OK or are you low on work clothes so need blacks doing?"

I think you have bigger problems than the washing, though.

n0ne · 15/02/2019 18:15

All the washing gets done together, DH does it 80% of the time. I put away mine and the kids, he does his own cos my clothes take up all the cupboard space so I don't know where to put his. If he went away for a few days he wouldn't dream of complaining about the state of the house after I'd been kid-wrangling single-handedly for days! Your H is a dick.

CaseofEllen · 15/02/2019 18:17

Well yes but he also does mine. Just depends who puts the load on. He would never say the house is a 'shit hole' though!