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Original poster

Do you do your husbands washing?

120 replies

Evabear13 · 15/02/2019 17:56

Hello lovely ladies, after a bit of advice. My husband has returned from a weeks holiday leaving me and our two daughters behind. I'm working a lot but always make sure there is a fresh cooked meal, food in cupboards and washing done. He very grumpily said to me yesterday " the house is a shithole". I am a little lost for words as I work incredibly hard- I literally cannot do anymore if I tried. So I thought I would leave his washing to him, going to suggest it tonight. See if he can cope with looking after himself at least a little bit. He does have a very demanding job but so do I ! Do you do your partners washing? I would say it is one of the most time consuming jobs! Any advice greatly appreciated!

OP posts:
Fairylea · 15/02/2019 20:16

Well I do all the washing because I don’t work and I consider everything household ish to be my domain. And I’m happy with that. (Both dc are school age).

But you both work! So washing should be either split between you - all chucked in one pile and take turns to put a wash on- or owned by one person in return for another “chore” to be done by the other person.

Your dh spoke to you terribly! I would be so angry.

unique1986 · 15/02/2019 20:17

I'm single so I do my own washing but if I had a husband I don't think Id do his because I'd never leave the f house.

MrsJonesAndMe · 15/02/2019 20:18

To answer the question, yes I do all the laundry but I work from home and DH does the ironing which I hate.

Like others have said, this isn't really the issue here!

MrsJayy · 15/02/2019 20:19

This is nothing to do with washing and everything to do with him being an arsehole ! Has he any intention of helping to keep the shithole tidy? Fwiw yes i do everybody in the houses washing but Dh will do ours .

PlinkPlink · 15/02/2019 20:22

I do the washing but OH would never dream of telling me the house is a shithole because I'm the only one that does it. He's sensible, see?

If he did however, I would be joining a PP in telling him to shove a laundry tablet up his bum and do it his-fucking-self. I would deliberately not do his washing... just to prove a point.

Your DP is treading on dangerous ground there, I think...

Hope the Rota suggestion goes down well

cstaff · 15/02/2019 20:23

At the very least you two need to talk. Seriously OP there is no excuse for that kind of behaviour and him after having a week away. That is not on.

Nanny0gg · 15/02/2019 20:28

I do the washing because I like doing the washing. I don't like doing the ironing. We share jobs, not necessarily equally but he works longer hours.

However, if he had swanned off on holiday and spoken to me like that on his return, his washing would be up the end of the garden and he would likely be following pretty sharpish.

EKGEMS · 15/02/2019 20:31

I'd tell him to drop dead. Twice

Closetbeanmuncher · 15/02/2019 20:31

Get your big girl pants on op because you're being treated like a complete doormat...

He sees your work as the 'little woman's sideline' and believes doing housework is beneath him...

Anyone with a micron of consideration wouldn't let their other half do everything; to complain after being on holiday for a week without you is so far over the line I can't even put it into words.

You must stand your ground, he needs kicking into touch immediately!

This is what happens when you show your good character to the wrong person.

Arsehole.

Flowers
mindutopia · 15/02/2019 20:32

No, I have never in more than a decade together done my dh’s washing. Though I will on rare occasion hang it up to dry if he’s done it and it’s in my way and I need the washing machine (like if he’s away or at work, otherwise I tell him to hang it up himself).

Walnutwhipster · 15/02/2019 20:34

Yes but only because he does all the cooking and washing up. I have someone who irons it so don't consider it a big deal, especially as I do the kid's too. I don't work. I think you have a husband problem.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 15/02/2019 20:34

No. He does mine. He moaned about the way I'd done the laundry once too often do I told him that it was his job from then on...

dragonsfire · 15/02/2019 20:36

I wash and hang but we each put own clothes away - I DO NOT IRON lol

His job is the dishwasher

SnotttyNosedSheila · 15/02/2019 20:36

We do each others. We both take it in turns. Whoever has more time puts a load on. Same for loading the dishwasher.

I also earn twice what my DH does so don't let your DH give you the wanky argument that because he earns more he gets to do less. I don't expect my DH to do twice more than I do. We do stuff equally as much as possible. We both work long hours and are knackered. We share stuff and work as a partnership.

EdWinchester · 15/02/2019 20:39

My husband wfh, so does all the washing. He also does all the cooking and shopping and most of the cleaning (we have a cleaner too).

But I have limited sympathy for women who take on all the domestic crap, even if they work themselves, then get treated like skivvies by their man-child.

PurpleDaisies · 15/02/2019 20:42

All laundry goes in the laundry bin. Whoever runs out of pants first puts it on.

I agree, there are more issues here than just laundry.

Tigger001 · 15/02/2019 20:44

I do the family washing yes, but it would be very strange for me to do my sons and my own and just leave my husbands in the wash basket. Surely it doesn't take that much longer to do his, so I can't see it saving your any time just trying to prove a point.

but My hubby would also never speak to me that, but if he seen something that annoyed him,he would just do it himself there and then, after all he has very capable.

Why don't you just ask him to do his bit rather than (IMO) silly games like leaving his washing. Isn't it more productive if you point out he should be helping out and give him a couple of jobs, that are his responsibility and takes a bit off you ( I know before everyone starts...you shouldn't have to tell him...he's a man child, but it's just a lot easier to talk )

Chocolate1984 · 15/02/2019 20:47

I do the washing if it’s in the laundry basket. Stuff he leaves on the floor gets binned or thrown in his wardrobe. He irons his work clothes.

My husband’s suitcase from our July 2018 holiday is in the garage unpacked with all his dirty washing still in it. He left it in the hallway for 3 weeks expecting me to take everything out and wash it. If it’s not in the laundry basket it doesn’t get washed.

ScreamingValenta · 15/02/2019 20:47

No - laundry is one of his jobs, so he does it for both of us.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 15/02/2019 20:49

To answer your question, yes I do do my dh washing. But he does pretty much everything else.

Re your dh, and his ‘shithole’ comment

I’d be drawing up a list of ALL chores regardless if he can do them or not, and splitting everything 50/50!! I’d tell him that as he thinks the house is a shithole he needs to pull his weight. Then book a weeks hildiay for yourself and leave him with the dc.

I’d be fucking raging at him tbh!

birdsdestiny · 15/02/2019 20:51

How can you touch someone who you have to give jobs to.

Felicia4 · 15/02/2019 20:59

I do all the laundry and housework because I don't work. BUT my DH appreciates what I do in the same way I appreciate what he does.
If he ever said the house is a shithole, he would have a very difficult few years months days.

SexNotJenga · 15/02/2019 21:01

I do the washing and some of the ironing. Dh does the cooking and the washing up and some of the ironing. And if he wants the house tidier, he tidies it.

torthecatlady · 15/02/2019 21:05

Yes, he also does mine... we both work full time. However if one of us stayed at home with kids that person would do all of it.

sackrifice · 15/02/2019 21:05

Whoever is free or at home does it when it needs doing...so today he did it but if a load needs doing on a Monday then I'll do it.
But he is your problem, not the washing.