Do you do your husbands washing?

[Evabear13]

Hello lovely ladies, after a bit of advice. My husband has returned from a weeks holiday leaving me and our two daughters behind. I'm working a lot but always make sure there is a fresh cooked meal, food in cupboards and washing done. He very grumpily said to me yesterday " the house is a shithole". I am a little lost for words as I work incredibly hard- I literally cannot do anymore if I tried. So I thought I would leave his washing to him, going to suggest it tonight. See if he can cope with looking after himself at least a little bit. He does have a very demanding job but so do I ! Do you do your partners washing? I would say it is one of the most time consuming jobs! Any advice greatly appreciated!

It's not the washing, it's the expectation and the lack of respect.
I do most of the washing as I work fewer hours, but DH does his share of other stuff. It's about a fair division of chores and mutual respect, love and support.

DP does his own washing & ironing. He wouldn’t trust me to do it properly and he is absolutely right. There is no way I could be arsed ironing shirts to his standard. The creases have to absolutely perfect and symmetrical. My life is way too short for that nonsense.

yes, but we share laundry.
whoever doesn't do the cooking (also shared) puts on a wash (and hangs it up to dry)

We both do each other's washing. It all goes into the same basket and is divided into darks and lights, not his or hers. He does at least as much as me if not more.

However in the cricumstsnces you described, I'd be telling him to do his own washing from now on, and your DH should take an equal share in cleaning up the 'shithole'. Cheeky fucker, especially having just got back from a holiday without you. He needs to pull his weight.

For me our family washing is purely a pile of colours and textiles, who it belongs to doesn’t matter. I mainly do it at the moment coz of life patterns but the point is fair leisure time for each person, kindness and respect.

Hahaha if my husband spoke to me like that I’d dump the wash basket at his feet and tell him to have at it whilst me and the kids went out for the day. Your dh is a cf.

Yes she does, but mind, so do I.

My fiancée does most of the washing n seperately, but I do assist, and I do load the machine by myself! 😉

I will get the power/conditioner/stoppables (others are available, we use Wilko version as best value for money, and it doesn't leave a mark). We got a cracking deal recently... 100 load box for £8

I used to but stopped several years ago when I realised it was always me doing it, and his clothes are big and heavy when wet. He has about three times more laundry than me. So I thought fuck that for a game of dominoes and told him to do it himself and now I only wash my own,

It's SO not about the laundry.

Suggest you take a weeks holiday leaving him at home with the kids. Let him see how he gets on.

On the comment the house is a shit hole, if I've been away a week, and come back and the house is a shit hole, and even when our daughter was little, I'd say. And I'd still say now.

Fortunately he knows well enough and cleans up before I get back so it's not s sink full of dirty dishes and crap all over thr place.

However he should be doing his own laundry. And he should do his share when home.

Yes but I just chuck it in with the other stuff. A lot of his stuff I don’t donout of principle though. Thewashing just isn’t any more work so it would be pointless for both of us to be doing it separately.

I too would be raging.....not only with the comment, but mainly because I had run the show in his absence when he had a week of winter sun and he didn’t return refreshed and positive.

Dh travels for work, I’m alone with the dc’s and working full time for 1-3 nights mid week and it’s exhausting. By the time I collect the children from the childminder at 6pm, bath, stories, catching up and bed it’s 8.15, I then eat and go to bed, literally a load of washing, dishwasher, wiping the kitchen sides along with making beds is all I manage.

I think you have bigger issues than just the washing OP.

This ^
I mean, yes, to literally answer your question, I do eveyone's washing here, most of the time - in that, it's a pretty easy / non-time consuming job because I put it in the machine and then walk away and do other things. I work from home sometimes so it makes sense for me to do that particular household chore as I can get the washing out the machine relatively early in the day and it is dry before dh (who works outside the home) gets home. Cannot see the sense in people each doing their own washing.
However
My dh wouldn't come home and speak like your did. Even if it were something he were thinking inside his head (which I doubt) he's intelligent enough to realise that would not be a wise things to say.

I do the laundry, at least I do whatever I find in the laundry basket as I don't pick up after him. He does his own sports gear and he also irons his own shirts. We share domestic tasks quite equally I'd say, as we both work full time.

I think you need a wider conversation about what jobs need doing and how to split them up. Having a regular weekly catch up on this works well in our house.

DH is a laundry control freak! I am just about allowed to put it away (after he folds everything just so).

If my OH called house a shithole I'm point him at the cleaning materials... and the front door.

We both do, depends on who is home and when we need it. Currently I am working a Lot and he is at home for the month, waiting to start his new job next month. He has been Washing All the clothes and keeping the house clean and tidy. We sort of have the mentality of whoever has the time does whatever needs to be done. And if we are both busy and too tired we do it together - we always agreed it's better to be suffering together than alone 😂

Absolutely not. He managed just fine before I met him.

I do the washing most of the time (put in machine and then dryer), but we both put it away

I'm ( surprise surprise :) ) with @AnyFucker yet again.

He complains? He cleans.
In our household, I do most of the washing, my DH does most of the cooking.
I sometimes put on a wash just for me ( full load) and he sometimes does the same. Usually because we are washing our ( seperate bedrooms, we both snore ) sheets or bedding. He changes his, I change mine.
Sometimes because we have accumulated enough dirty outdoor stuff separately to need a seperate wash.
But, we talk to each other and "bulk up" a dark/dirty/hot/ white wash!
And adult DD does her own ( or not!)
Seriously, if he is complaining, after being away - he can sort himself out.