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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Girlfriend Fell Asleep After Sex?🤷🏽‍♂️

110 replies

stressedinthought · 15/02/2019 01:39

Am I over reacting here?

We had a lovely Valentine’s Day together.

Had sex.. she went to the bathroom almost immediately after we finished.. wouldn’t lay and just relax for five minutes which I think is a nice thing to do once you’ve done that. I was so tired.. but waited up for her to come back to bed so we could lay with eachother for a little. She came back to bed.. didn’t say goodnight or anything... and just fell asleep almost instantly... No cuddling up to me or anything. On the other side of the bed as we speak.

The only thing she did was kiss her hand then press it against my lips for a second... like seriously? What?

Im now left wide awake typing this feeling very sensitive and offended? Almost put out?? Especially after the day we had together. Now I’m left just feeling resentful and will almost certainly bring this up tomorrow morning or is that not a wise idea?

It all just felt very rushed and not very romantic at all. How would you guys feel about this? Usually it’s the man who falls asleep and isn’t sensitive about this kind of stuff!!!

Almost feel strange laying here next to her not even being able to put my arm round her properly.

We’ve been together 7 months.

Thank you.

OP posts:

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/02/2019 01:46

Yes, you're over reacting.

I understand why you'd like the snuggling thing, but she's asleep. She's had a long day, a presumably excellent and exhausting orgasm and she felt the need to clean up after that, rather than just rolling over and throwing a lazy arm.over you before starting to snore. Be glad you pleased her and relaxed her, and go to sleep.

Justagirlwholovesaboy · 15/02/2019 01:48

Did she have a busy day at work, need to be up early tomorrow. If you are trying to force romance because it’s a certain day in the year maybe it’s not for her

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/02/2019 01:49

PS, don't bring it up tomorrow. Or ever. And get over the whole "put out" thing. The world does not revolve around you and what you want.

rvby · 15/02/2019 01:49

Yeah how dare she fall asleep. She's done it to spite you OP. Definitely pout about it tomorrow, that'll show her.

Sadiesnakes · 15/02/2019 01:54

Pretty sure this has to be a joke🤔..

But on the off chance it's not, you sound unbalanced and very needy. Not a good look op.
Continue taking offence at little things like this and you'll suffocate her.
She's tired, she fell asleep. Simple as.

IndieTara · 15/02/2019 01:57

Offended? Really?
Over reacting and over thinking

sagradafamiliar · 15/02/2019 01:57

Grow up.
It's the early hours, if I was all shagged out after a busy day, I'd be asleep as well.

CallMeRachel · 15/02/2019 01:58

Omg just think yourself lucky she didn't squirt after 30 seconds then close up and roll over snoring!!

I'm guessing she didn't rate your performance...erm did she get the chance to enjoy it ?

TyneTeas · 15/02/2019 01:59

Is this some kind of reverse??

Original poster

stressedinthought · 15/02/2019 02:00

Thanks for your comments guys.

We’re away on a city break, no work. We don’t see eachother often so when we do, we like to make the most of the time together.

Surely I can’t help how I feel? For your partner to just roll over and not say goodnight as they ALWAYS have done or give you a cuddle is a little rubbish? Almost felt like rushed sex, got up straight away, cleaned up, back to bed and straight asleep not a word spoken to me.

We always cuddle up before sleeping.. it feels very odd laying on opposite sides of the bed after all that?

OP posts:

Sadiesnakes · 15/02/2019 02:04

Surely I can’t help how I feel? For your partner to just roll over and not say goodnight as they ALWAYS* have done or give you a cuddle is a little rubbish? Almost felt like rushed sex, got up straight away, cleaned up, back to bed and straight asleep not a word spoken to me.

We always cuddle up before sleeping.. it feels very odd laying on opposite sides of the bed after all that?*

So surely since you ALWAYS cuddle up after sex, you'll excuse her this one time?🙄

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/02/2019 02:04

No, you can't help.how you feel, but.you don't need to tell her your nose is out of joint. Seven months in, she trusts you enough to act naturally when she's tired, take it as a compliment!

sagradafamiliar · 15/02/2019 02:06

Just...get over it. Fuck sake, you're on a city break, just had a nice day, rounded it off with some sex. Don't ruin it. Go to sleep.

Beansonapost · 15/02/2019 02:07

GTFTS!

🙄🙄

TyneTeas · 15/02/2019 02:13

You've posted a few times about things that you are not sure are issues. (Sorry I did an AS)

It's not easy to tell if you are overly anxious or there are potential indications you want different things

Original poster

stressedinthought · 15/02/2019 02:13

Well I wasn’t expecting so many comments this time of night so thank you all.

I know it sounds ridiculous, I’m just too sensitive I suppose. I won’t mention it tomorrow and just see how the morning goes.

Perhaps I’m just majorly overthinking it all. She’s a very cold / distant personality and im the opposite so you can imagine the clashes.

I just thought it would of been a nice way to round off the evening that’s all. Sucks being a wet towel personality sometimes!!

I may add she ALWAYS gets up after sex straight away.. no laying for even two minutes.. I find that a bit rubbish. I know a few other guys who do too. Then again I know it’s to prevent UTI’s etc.

OP posts:

rvby · 15/02/2019 02:13

Surely I can’t help how I feel?

Oh christ. You're one of those.

Your emotions are not controllable, no.

But please, for fucks sake dont make your emotions your girlfriends problem. YOU are accountable for your emotions. If you're dating someone who upsets you by doing things like falling asleep after sex, I respectfully suggest that you are the one with the problem, not her.

Have you had any counselling for your anxiety?

Isnt this the same lass you get upset with for not texting you in quite the right way?

Have you considered dating someone who you dont disapprove of?

Skittlesandbeer · 15/02/2019 02:14

Many people find the ‘obligatory’ romance of Valentine’s Day (& night) a bit of a pain. Your partner may have been a touch perfunctory and ‘ticked the boxes’ to please you and the culture.

I think she did this for you, as a gift. So accept the gift, appreciate her efforts and be gracious. Sulking that she should have gone above and beyond is a bit ungracious.

But then again, I speak as someone in a long term relationship where perfect ‘sex and romance marathons’ is a bit of a rare thing.

Enjoy what you have, and don’t compare to TV. Go to sleep yourself, so you’re rested enough for a great Round 2 in the morning. Otherwise she’ll be on MN complaining about you, and none of us will get any kip!

Sadiesnakes · 15/02/2019 02:15

No, your right. She should lie beside you straight after sex, for as long as you feel you need.. fuck uti's right?

Starting to feel real bad for your gf now...

Fairenuff · 15/02/2019 02:16

Almost felt like rushed sex, got up straight away, cleaned up, back to bed and straight asleep not a word spoken to me.

Ok. So if we are to believe this, she got up, went to the bathroom, got back into bed and went to sleep without either of you saying a word.

Right? Is that what you're saying happened?

Monty27 · 15/02/2019 02:16

She's tired?

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/02/2019 02:21

You are majorly overthinking things. However, if you find her cold/distant, and you're the opposite, and you're only seven months in... is this relationship really working for either of you?

HeddaGarbled · 15/02/2019 02:32

Surely it’s normal to have a bit of a cuddle after sex - not straight into the bathroom to clean up then fob partner off with as distant and brief a touch as possible before going to sleep. That’s just rude, no matter how tired you are.

OP, unless this is a one off, I think it’s probably time to give up on this relationship.

Klopptimist · 15/02/2019 02:36

Then again I know it’s to prevent UTI’s etc

UTIs feel like you're pissing broken glass, they're fucking awful and if you're prone to them (as many women are), it is essential to empty your bladder after sex. Clears things out, so to speak.

You've got absolutely no right to put your own preferences over someone else's health.

Knackeredmommy · 15/02/2019 02:38

She may just be knackered, are you overthinking this because of Valentines?

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