Girlfriend Fell Asleep After Sex?🤷🏽‍♂️

[stressedinthought]

Am I over reacting here?

We had a lovely Valentine’s Day together.

Had sex.. she went to the bathroom almost immediately after we finished.. wouldn’t lay and just relax for five minutes which I think is a nice thing to do once you’ve done that. I was so tired.. but waited up for her to come back to bed so we could lay with eachother for a little. She came back to bed.. didn’t say goodnight or anything... and just fell asleep almost instantly... No cuddling up to me or anything. On the other side of the bed as we speak.

The only thing she did was kiss her hand then press it against my lips for a second... like seriously? What?

Im now left wide awake typing this feeling very sensitive and offended? Almost put out?? Especially after the day we had together. Now I’m left just feeling resentful and will almost certainly bring this up tomorrow morning or is that not a wise idea?

It all just felt very rushed and not very romantic at all. How would you guys feel about this? Usually it’s the man who falls asleep and isn’t sensitive about this kind of stuff!!!

Almost feel strange laying here next to her not even being able to put my arm round her properly.

We’ve been together 7 months.

Thank you.

I always used to get up straight after sex to go to the toilet and never had an uti. Until once I lay there for 5 mins with a tissue against my foof to avoid leakage. That was the first time I had an uti and it was horrendous. Never again.

Maybe she felt like she had to because it's Valentine's Day but was quite tired so wanted to get it over and done with so she could go to sleep.

Crikey. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

You sound weird and needy

What an absolute turn off. She wanted to get clean and go to sleep, is she not entitled to do that?

As you're on a city break I assume you've been doing a lot during the day. She's just tired. Stop being so needy.

Did you really just call your gf cold and distant? 😂 omg

I’m not cuddly when I’m tired it can irritate me. We are all different, if you love her you will accept this.

This is just a 'witty' sex-reversal post, surely?

(Except for the cleaning up part. Often followed by discovering the man already asleep on ones return).

Is this a reverse?

The two of you are not compatible.

Also welcome to our world

I find it hilarious and depressing that as it's a man posting about his feelings it's fair play to insult him. Don't do many women complain men aren't open with their feelings?

He wanted a hug FFS not more sex, or to be made dinner or anything like that.

Did you have a nice meal with alcohol last night?

Sometimes it’s hard to stay awake for the sex if it’s been a good evening. Enjoy the rest of your break.

I'm going against the grain here OP and saying I agree with you. I love the time after sex when you're all fuzzy and warm. Love it for lying there chatting, giggling, cuddling. Totally get where you're coming from, I don't think it's needy.

However I do think she's not the right one for you, if you feel she's generally a cold person. You sound like you need a more open and tactile person. If you're feeling this sad after only 7 months and on what's meant to be the most romantic day maybe she's just not the one.

And you're not weird and needy, that's just MN being its shittiest.

I'm straight up and into the bathroom. Sometimes I'm in there for 2 minutes and when I return dh is asleep! I love that. I always think he must be really relaxed and content and drifted off.

Did you want a thank you? Or exclamation of how good you are in the sack?

Leave her alone, let her sleep, petulant man child.

I think you've had some harsh replies here. If she is normally happy to cuddle up after sex, and wasn't last night, I'd be asking her if she was OK this morning, in case something had upset her last night. I'd be upset if DH ignored me completely after sex. I hope the rest of your break is enjoyable.

Surely it’s normal to have a bit of a cuddle after sex - not straight into the bathroom to clean up then fob partner off with as distant and brief a touch as possible before going to sleep

No. My ex always did this. Which I was fine about as I actually can't sleep if someone is touching me.

Sometimes me and Dp will chat for ages after, sometimes I'll fall straight asleep, sometimes I'll go to the bathroom and come back and he'll be fast asleep. Dp takes it as a compliment if I fall straight asleep though, he feels he's done his job good.

You say it felt rushed and unromantic, was that the sex in general or just the falling asleep after? I think you've to be careful about trying to build sex up if I'm honest, it should be fun, natural and comfortable and I wonder like some others if maybe she wasn't that bothered but felt she should. Can you tell if she's not that into it? You say you're sensitive but are you in tune with how she feels?
My Dp knows if I'm really in the mood or not and we've been known to stop before now it one of us gets the feeling the others a bit meh about it.

I wouldn't say anything if I were you, unless you can jokingly say something like "you were a sleepy head last night, I missed our cuddles" would depend on your relationship how she takes it though.

Depends on entirely on the circumstances surely. If she’s exhausted, it’s late and alcohol featured anywhere you’re probably lucky she made it through sex. We’ve been together about 6 years. Sometimes it’s a cuddle and talking after. Last night got to say I too just went to the bathroom then fell asleep. Full disclosure I’m also pregnant and as a result pretty tired. Fell asleep watching tv at around 8pm too lol.

Shock horror we also didn’t do much for valentines. Just a card and a small thing for each other.

If this distance is a regular thing there may be a problem but if she is generally close to you then I’d just shrug and put it down to circumstance at the time. Certainly wouldn’t worry about it.

She’s a very cold / distant personality and im the opposite so you can imagine the clashes.

Clashes after 7 months? Perhaps you're not compatible. What a thing to say about your gf.

She was just tired. You are taking it way too personally! I'd let this one go. She clearly wants intimacy.

We don't really do Valentine's as such, although I am making a nice dinner. But for tonight. We're always too knackered in the week. Tomorrow we can lie in for a bit. We might even have sex.

I think people are being a bit harsh to OP. If it’s out of character then surely OP is going to wonder what he’s done wrong? I for one like to cuddle arfter sex especially when you have only been together 7months and your on a romantic city break?

OP, you maybe over thinking things, see how she is with you today, if she’s off with you then maybe you have said or done something to upset her? If she’s fine then maybe she was just tired and needed a bit of space.

And to the people that say “don’t mention it to her”, how are you meant to know if she’s upset if you don’t communicate with each other?? I wouldn’t want to be with someone I couldn’t talk too when I was upset about something.

You know what’s standing out to me. You’re on a city break together so presumably doing the same things. You said you were tired but waiting up. If you’re tired then she’s going to be tired too hey? Maybe she’s less able to cope and fend off sleep.