DH says if I go home he will marry someone else

[Changedforthis000]

This sounds like it’s made up, I wish it was! Have namechanged too btw.

My head is all over the place so please bear with me!
I am currently a few weeks pregnant and want to have the baby in the UK. We (me and 5 year old daughter) moved to a country outside of the UK in June and have not settled in well at all. DH has been here on and off for 3 years and we have made do with visits etc. DH doesn’t agree to me leaving and having the baby in the UK, he said if we leave he will marry someone else as he doesn’t want to go back to the UK. I have booked flights to go home soon and he said I’m making the biggest mistake of my life, I don’t care about our children if I take them back to the UK etc.

I don’t know what I’m posting for I just don’t have anyone in real life to talk to as I’m so embarrassed that he he would say he’ll marry someone else (I’ve no doubts he will do this and is not just making empty threats) this country allows polygamy. I will basically be going home to my parents house with nothing and don’t know what I’m going to do

We are all rooting for you OP and we can't wait to hear that you are back safe and sound

Is your dd your p's biological child? I was not clear due to changing her age and how long you had been together.

If you have read what I said you will see that I initially wanted to go back to the UK to have the baby
But why go now when you are not due to give birth for months? And why tell your DD that you won't come back and expect her to keep that secret from her dad?

You did post that you believe he knows you don't intend to come back to him hence your concerns he could stop you.

Anyway, only posted my views, clearly everyone think it is right to give up on 10 years together, one child together and another on the way just because you don't like living in Dubai and him throwing the comment that he'll find someone else if you indeed decide to move away for good despite pretending it's only temporary.

Has the OP said she lives in Dubai?

@swingofthings he knows we aren't coming back, Dd knows we aren't coming back.
And I have to go back now as I won't be entitled to NHS care and DH has said we can't afford to pay!

But why go now when you are not due to give birth for months?

She has explained that. Not that she needs to. If she wants to come home for her birth and pregnancy, that's up to her. She doesn't need to have a reason you approve of.

@swingofthings my concerns came from posters telling me to hide my passport, saying he might try and stop us

Yes @LIZS he is her bio father

Think about posting any belongings you need that are important to you
Talk as if you are coming back - home improvements holiday plans etc
Keep it normal

I really wish you a lot of luck

swingofthings you have misunderstood the thread. the op's dh is aware she is moving to UK for good with their daughter. She is not hiding it from him. He has not opposed this, he tells her they can move.

They used to live separately with him in middle east, her and daughter in UK. She and daughter only moved to middle east last year. She has suggested reverting to previous arrangement, or him moving with him, he hasn't opposed her moving to UK but says he will marry someone else if she does.

Some posters are worried he is tricking her, personally I think he isn't and he (sadly) is happy to move on with his life as a single unencumbered man. I would urge you to move this week though op, in case he changes his mind, takes a second wife and wants to raise your DC with her. Also if the second child is a boy, he might feel differently (again sadly, but I have met men of some cultures who value their sons far more than daughters).

Hey OP hope it's all going ok. Everyday your one step closer to those flights.

She is not even sure if she is actually married or not

The OP is married according to Islam. Her marriage is also recognised in the Uk as being legal as her wedding is legal in the UAE if thats where she is. And another good indicator thats she's married is that her husband is her sponsor where she is and to be her sponsor he would have to have submitted an attested copy of their marriage certificate in order to be able to sponsor her.

If I were the OP I'd be hiding under the bed such is the amount of tripe being posted on the thread.

This explains the legalities of the marriage

Is an Islamic Marriage Recognised by UK Law?

For a Muslim couple to enjoy the financial security and the other benefits bestowed by the completion of a civil marriage they must have either married under Sharia law in a country where this type of marriage is recognised by law, or they must get their civil marriage in addition to their Islamic marriage.

We would strongly advice every couple who live in the UK and are married under Sharia law to check whether their marriage is valid and recognised by UK law.

If you are not legally married, you may find yourself in a difficult situation if you were to get divorced or if one partner passes away.

Finding out if Your Sharia Marriage is Valid

Although it is seen as a valid marriage ceremony within Islam, in UK law the Nikah ceremony is only recognised as a religious ceremony, which for that reason carries no legal weight.

Under English law the couples who are only in a Nikah and who did not get a civil marriage are considered to be a “co-habiting couple”. That means that they do not have the same rights as couples in a civil marriage.

The co-habiting couples have therefore less rights regarding pensions and benefits. In the unfortunate event of divorce or death the spouses will also find difficulty.

Getting a Sharia Marriage Overseas

If you had your Nikah abroad; in a country which practices and recognises Sharia Law, your marriage will be recognised by UK law.

As a result, couples who have chosen to get their Nikah in this way will have access to the exact same benefits as couples within a civil marriage.

Getting an Islamic Marriage in the UK

If a couple who is having their Nikah ceremony in the UK wants the same recognition, they need to attend a registry office to obtain a civil marriage in addition to their Nikah.

It is not particularly complex to get your civil marriage in place. You can simply contact your local authority, who can inform you how to undergo your civil marriage ceremony in addition to your Nikah.

I suspect swingofthings is actually OP’s DH.

Good luck op
Try and stay calm

OP, are you in Dubai? Don't have to answer but if correct, consider how swingofthings knows that. Could it be from the expat site?

Changed mentioned that she had posted on the Dubai expat forum....but that she’s not in that area

I see. Thanks for clarifying, Button

If you are in Doha I think that there is a deposit for the sponsor for residency if it is a private individual, not for companies.

Hi op how are you?

They are his children too. By all means separate and move home yourself but you still need to allow your children to have a relationship with their father in the future. Just remember that.

The UAE is not signed to the Hague convention, I believe

warcat op has asked dh to return to the UK, where they are both from. He has so far refused. Preferring to threaten her with a second wife instead.
Op is pregnant and does not want to be in the ME any longer. It is her choice to go home, he can return and have the same rights as any other father in the UK.
His right to a relationship doesn’t exceed her right to be safe. ESP as her dd wants to go home to the UK as well.

‘Just remember that’ makes you sound mildly threatening. I hope you didn’t intend it to.

Thanks @Springwalk I'm plodding on! DH has tried today to get me to change my mind. I haven't but it is so mentally draining I can't even begin to talk about it. Only a few days to go now.

The UAE is not signed to the Hague convention, I believe

And that’s what’s relevant.

It must all be stressful and upsetting op.

I hope it all goes well.