DH says if I go home he will marry someone else

[Changedforthis000]

This sounds like it’s made up, I wish it was! Have namechanged too btw.

My head is all over the place so please bear with me!
I am currently a few weeks pregnant and want to have the baby in the UK. We (me and 5 year old daughter) moved to a country outside of the UK in June and have not settled in well at all. DH has been here on and off for 3 years and we have made do with visits etc. DH doesn’t agree to me leaving and having the baby in the UK, he said if we leave he will marry someone else as he doesn’t want to go back to the UK. I have booked flights to go home soon and he said I’m making the biggest mistake of my life, I don’t care about our children if I take them back to the UK etc.

I don’t know what I’m posting for I just don’t have anyone in real life to talk to as I’m so embarrassed that he he would say he’ll marry someone else (I’ve no doubts he will do this and is not just making empty threats) this country allows polygamy. I will basically be going home to my parents house with nothing and don’t know what I’m going to do

Morning OP, I'm in a no too far away place which you can guess from my name
I would keep the visa and your passport as it's likely to be the same department that would block your daughter from leaving.

If you get the first scan done in the UK you have another two months before the next one so you could say to DH you'll do that and come back, so the visa doesn't get cancelled and he has no reason to go the officials for cancellation/blocking. Don't worry about what the embassy said about the visa ideally being cancelled if you aren't coming back, admin in another country is the least of your issues. It will just get cancelled after the set period you're away for anyway. Plus the UK will not know you're a resident there either.

as somebody asked upthread, why would two people with British citizenship go to a ME country to get married, especially if the woman (op) can't understand a word of what she was getting herself into?

Ignore all the advice to lie, forge signatures, buy flights in cash from a different airport, etc. If you do those things and leave the country under false pretences then surely a court could order your return (if your DH went to court).

Even in the UK, you can't just take your child to live in another country without the other parent's consent.

Far better to do this honestly and with his agreement. I'm not naive enough to trust him completely but I really think your best hope is to do this with his knowledge and consent (as you are doing).

If he changes his mind when you're back in the UK, it will work in your favour that you did it with his consent and you have proof of that if he cancels your residency visa himself before you leave.

Yes it's a risk, but so is smuggling your DD out of the country as some are suggesting.

Good morning op, I hope the scan goes well today.

Can you contact your husbands family in the UK? Assuming they are still there? I wondered whether a promised visit with dd and from you may persuade his mother to support your visit to the UK? Why not ask him to come with you? He is far more likely to believe you then. I appreciate he may say no, but it builds your case.

Perhaps you are estranged from his family and that is why you married overseas. Or maybe they don’t approve.

I would also continue to put on Sm you are popping back for one
week on holiday etc. Try and build some momentum to your visit. If you are going down the route of trying to keep him on side, then try and make it beneficial to him in some wau. Could you take gifts for his family? Bring back supplies for the baby that are cheaper etc.

O if he plans to marry or take on a second wife, he will do so anyway with or without you. He will however find it easier if you are not there sobbing. This could be an advantage for him, and one I hope means you can leave safely with dd.

Is there any way to bring the flights forward? Someone’s birthday, death in the family etc?

Please do not forge anything, you will end up in prison,

Just checking in OP to say still thinking of you.

Things are getting a bit crazy on this thread now with all these urgent suggestions/ forge docs/ drive over the border etc (all very dramatic although appreciate it is well intended) just keep ploughing on and keep a cool head. You can do this.

From your posts I think you get it and you've got your head screwed on. Be strong. PM me if you need a friend on the ground ok 💐

Hi all, I'm ok although hospital have cancelled my appointment for a later time which means I'll have to get someone (dds friends mum) to pick up dd from school.
No more mention from H about passports which is a bit strange. He came home last night, went to sleep and left for work this morning so I don't know what's happening there.

Oh and I won't be forging and docs etc!

*any docs

@Springwalk his family in the UK are fine we get on ok although I know he wouldn't buy any on that. I think I'm best sticking to going home next week assuming he won't do anything to stop me, he would need passports to do so anyway which I won't be letting him have

Good luck op

OP please be careful. Dont let your husband have your passport.

I'd act normal, tell him not to cancel the visas so you and Dd don't have difficulty returning.
Ask him to make a list of anything he'd like you to bring back.
Only let him see you oacking things you normally take back for a visit. Ask him is there any gifts he'd like you to take to his mother/father so you can go by and visit with them before returning.
Talk about it like it's a normal short trip back. Ignore his hytrionics about marrying other people, or make it a joke of, I expect there not to be a new wife in my spot when I get back type thing.
Good luck.

I have to say I'm confused here. Your language in your last post op doesn't tie in with the naive and trusting picture of you I have got in my mind from all previous posts.
You have a 5 year old child that was born in UK over 5 years ago whereby you give the impression that your current husband is the father, but say you got married in the ME country you are in only recently as you've only been there a few months. I thought Islam frowned upon such things?

I'm sure I've misunderstood something here but have to admit to being somewhat confused.

I thought the language in her last post was appropriate, in the context....

Yes it probably was - I wasn't criticising her use of language, but saying it doesn't in my mind tie in with the picture of her that I"ve got from all previous posts. That's just my opinion though - doesn't make me right!

@pusspuss9 we got married in an Islamic ceremony in the uk, this has no legal standing so we got married in court here so that we could live here legally.
Apologies for the language but I felt the post from @PurpleAndTurquoise was very ignorant and just said for the sake of trying to be funny when this is my life and certainly not a joke.

Thinking of u OP. Sounds awful.
Good luck with ur scan today, try and enjoy it :)

Thank you for the explanation op. No need to apologise for the language - I use it myself in certain circumstances!

I hope everything turns out OK for you. You must be very stressed right now.

Purple, that ISIS wife is a teenage schoolgirl from Bethnal Green who has now lost two children to malnutrition under the "care" of ISIS.

I don't think you can or should link that with OP, who has a 5 year old DD already.

Is the court ceremony not recognised legally in UK?

I think Purple's post is offensive bullshit and perhaps ought to be deleted.

Possibly @LIZS but atm I'm not interested I just want to get home