Hi,
My counselling session on Monday went well, I talked a lot of things through.
She said that in my head I had already gone (I think this is true), whereas H doesn't seem to have understood that I am serious and is still behaving as if having a nice holiday together and a bit of "quality time" is enough to fix us.
I think she's right. I got a bit down this week because it's hard to find somewhere to live in the area I want to move to, but something has come up and I can visit it on Monday evening.
Meanwhile, H has come home from his work trip. We weren't speaking before he went away and he didn't contact me at all while he was gone.
Last night in bed he asked if I was still angry.
I calmly said that he was then one not speaking to me and I didn't know why.
He started to try and play his "game" of making me guess and telling me he was sure I knew really if I just thought about.
In the end it turned out that on the last morning of the holiday he was cross because our friend made a joke about him which I laughed a bit too heartily at.
He was asking if anyone at breakfast wanted sugar, and she jokingly said he was asking because he wanted someone else to go and get it for him. I laughed quite a lot because this is something he does, and even the kids have pointed it out.
Anyway, it turns out in his head I was the one who made a mockery of him in front of everyone and that this hurt his feelings a lot.
Hence not speaking to me for a week.
I see how far I have come now because I just felt really distant from all of this, and also I am kind of blown away by how I put up with this crap in this past, let myself "hear his pain" and let a week's silence go by in anguish.
He brought up something about his sister bossing people around (to prove to me how hard it was to go on holiday with her).
I then pointed out that the way she insists she is always right and won't let the other person make their own decision, is exactly what he does every day in our relationship.
He had nothing to say to that.
As usual, he rolled over and went to sleep, I didn't, and now I'm knackered despite having hoped for an early night.
I have a nice weekend lined up though, hairdresser's, lunch with a friend, and then cinema tomorrow with friends too so will be out of the house a lot.