Starting over after 25 years - Part Trois

[Lily007]

Time to start a new thread.

I’m hoping all you ‘regulars’ will continue the journey with me 😊

Also thinking about you lily xx

I feel as though this farce will never be over.

KH's solicitor drafted the consent documentation, I think I said it contained quite a few errors which I spotted and so these were corrected before submitting to court. However, almost 4 weeks after the paperwork was submitted to court, I've received a letter stating the DJ is not satisfied with the wording of 3 paragraphs. Also, the DJ wants an explanation as to why I'm receiving 100% of proceeds of sale and 100% of KH's pension.

It seems to me the Judge hasn't read the paperwork properly and thinks KH only has one pension which he's transferring to me when in fact he's got 2 other pensions which are worth far more than the one he's transferring to me.

I'll no doubt wait another couple of weeks for his solicitor to amend the consent order and I've got to write a letter (to be signed by both KH and myself) explaining the reason for the equity and pension split. Once the paperwork is, again, submitted to court it'll no doubt be another 3 to 4 weeks before it's dealt with.

I'm not going to put the house on the market in December, I really can't see the point. Who's going to be looking at houses right before Christmas.

On a lighter note, KH rang me a few weeks ago to let me know he'd successfully reclaimed PPI from a bank loan we'd had years ago. The compensation was £2,400 so £1,200 each but he'd made the claim via a claims management company and their fees were £600. They took their costs from his £1,200 so I ended up with the full £1,200 and he ended up with £600

Oh no Lily! Why on earth has he not read it properly? This delays it again! I remember looking for a house at this time of year, moved in before Christmas but I get it. It’s to much hassle really. I used Purple Bricks, they were brilliant and no commission. I can recommend them. Oh well done on the £1200. Go get some winter sun.

😄 I really chuckled at the PPI settlement.

I remember having this type of hassle with my divorce and the DJ. A pain in the arse at the time, but it's a dim and distant memory now.

You are best off waiting until the divorce is settled and after Xmas to sell. Take the pressure off you over the festive period and you don't have to worry about tidying up the Xmas decs before viewings etc.

Plus I'd also be sniggering at KH and Madge in their shitty house... she must be spitting feathers at the thought of you getting 100% of the equity lol bet she thought she'd be on the gravy train bagging herself a KH. She'd have been imaging herself in a nice big house, similar to the one you're in now. But she's having to put him up yep bagged a real jem in him and his phone calls to other women!

On the ppi it was decent of him to let you know, many wouldn't.. but I suspect he is looking for a way back.

Karma will bite KH's & his slags arse.

The telephone calls are a definite sign he is not happy with his lot.

Good to read you are still holding on Lily - onwards & upwards 💐

It seems like a never-ending saga Lily. You'll get there.. eventually. Let's look forward to a brand new year and a new home for you.💐

Oh and the £1200 will come in handy.
That's a good surprise, for a change.

Thanks everyone.

The court saga is a bind but I really can't be bothered stressing about it any longer.

KH has changed mobile phone provider so I can't see his bills now which is a bit annoying because I'm a nosey cow lol

I'm quite happy to put the house sale on hold until after Christmas so I can just relax and, hopefully, have a nicer Christmas than I had last year and then I can set to selling the house and looking for something else in or around February next year.

I don't know whether I believe in karma but if it does exist, I hope it bites him in the arse big time and that I get to watch

Sounds like he's already making in roads into another monumental fuck up talking to other women. I'd laugh my tits off if once your divorce is sorted, he then has to start the next one.

I think his life will be karma ridden from now onwards.

Do you think it is coincidental he changed phone provider or is he following this thread do you think ? Long time follower, but I am frequent name changer.

They are sneaky bastards Lily. Selfish to the core. It’s like they have no morals. All they think about are themselves. I have no idea how they do it. Gosh, has it been 20 months! You sell when you want to. Glad the consent document has gone through. 🌺

@MrsTishellsNeckBrace I doubt KH will see this thread, it isn't something he would think of looking at.

@Redland12 yes it's hard to believe it's been 20 months since he left.

I don't miss him any longer. I feel sad sometimes that my life isn't going to be what I thought it would be and I'm angry I'll have to work until I'm 66, but it is what it is, there are people far worse off than I am. My mum always said everything happens for a reason - I hope it's true.

I suspect he'll get married fairly soon after we receive the decree absolute. I don't envy OW one bit, if I were in her shoes (which I never would be) I'd always be thinking, if he can treat someone so badly after being together 27 years, he can do it just as easily to me. But hey, that's her problem. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you.

Another of my darling mum's sayings "God doesn't pay his debts in money"

You sound so much better than you did 12 months ago, I'm sure that you can look towards your future with confidence and calm.

I understand when you say it’s not how your thought your life would be as I think exactly that too. As I’ve said before it’s 42 years for me, we’ve now sold and moving this Friday! Ive a little 2 up 2 down near my 2 children and their partners. Obviously the amount of time we’ve been together (and my age) he has to cough up quite a bit, luckily he’s happy to do it. BUT, it’s not what I wanted, I wanted him and our happy family, he’s ruined all that. He has asked a couple of times to try again, it’s a definite no from me. Let her put up with him now Lily. Poor woman. Once a cheater and all that. I agree with your mums quotes. Chin up Lily. 🌺

@Redland12 it must be even harder for you after 42 years. If you don't mind me asking how long is it since you split? I'd give anything for KH to ask to come back, not that I'd ever entertain him, but I can't deny I'd love to know he wasn't particularly happy

I am getting by fairly well although I think it'll still be a sad day when I am notified the absolute has been granted. When I think of all the really lovely times we had together it still makes me sad. I'm hoping that as more time passes those feelings will disappear completely.

I'm glad to hear you've find yourself a lovely little house near to your family and I hope Friday's move goes well

Hey Lily, of course I don’t mind. We’ve been in separate bedrooms 2 years this coming February. So still in the same house. It’s been tough at times (most times) but I’ve tried to be upbeat. I have a huge friendship group so I’m out a lot. Yes he’s asked a few times to call a halt to it but I’ve said no. As you’ve said I too think of all the good times, and must admit I cry, we’ve sat a couple of times and cried. It’s all such a waste. No going back for me. I’m sure all be work out for you, I never thought it would but it falls into place eventually. Thanks Lily, it will be a bitter sweet day I imagine. 🌺

My friend arrange a girls night out for when her absolute came through so she didn't stay sad for too long or dwell on it

Hi @Redland12 how did you move go? I was thinking about you yesterday.

I've received the sealed consent order from the court this morning but no Decree Absolute. I'm assuming I'll receive it in the next few days although I'd have thought the court would have sent it with the consent order.

I'll wait a few days because if, by chance, the court have overlooked it I'm sure his solicitor will pursue it.

As I really want to wait until February to market the house I'm hoping KH doesn't start pressuring me to market it immediately. I suspect he will though because he'll want to stop paying towards the mortgage as soon as possible and the consent order states he must pay until the house sells.

Just drag your heels, as he has done with you, the solicitor and various other paperwork. Tell him there's no point even thinking about it until after Xmas and the general election. I'd think of all sorts of shite to tell him it's not worth starting just yet

The move went well thank you, I have been moving stuff out over the last few weeks as a friend has a huge storage facility. God it’s hard work! I was knackered. When the house was finally empty and the solicitor called to say the money was in the joint account and to hand over the keys I could look at my husband, it was to upsetting. I told him to go and he said to me, I will always love you. Pity he didn’t show it!, I’m just waiting for my new house to go through (I’m staying with family), I agree with Whoknew, tell him wrong time of year. Thanks for thinking of me Lily, I appreciate it.

Been expecting the Decree Absolute to be delivered but I'm still waiting. Apparently the Ancillary Relief Order has to be sealed by a District Judge and only after this has been done does a court clerk type up the Absolute. I'm told it just goes into a pile of orders which the court staff work through. The Ancillary Relief Order isn't effective until the Decree Absolute has been pronounced.

KH emailed me on Friday. He said his solicitor would be sending me a cheque in the next few days for £550 to cover the divorce petition payment and, unsurprisingly, asked me when I'll be putting the house up for sale.

The stupid man clearly doesn't understand the financial order isn't effective until the Absolute is received. I've not replied to him, which I'm sure will piss him off because he won't know whether I've received the email or if I'm ignoring him.

I'm as keen as he is to offload this house, it's far too big (4 bedrooms) for me on my own and the garden maintenance alone is a full time job at this time of year. I'm constantly ankle deep in leaves because the house backs on to a wooded area, also we have a decked area at the end of the garden which is bloody lethal when it's wet and I can't even sweep it for fear of breaking my neck.

I suspect he'll send me either another email or text message soon asking why I haven't responded, I'll ignore that too

@Redland12 glad to hear the move went well and good luck moving into your own house, I can't wait to be in that position.

For nearly being there
But

for when you are.

I've followed you since the start Lily (under various names), and it's wonderful to hear you stronger and happier each time you post. I do hope KH gets his comeuppance and I'd love if he came back asking for another chance - and for you to tell him to shove it but I suspect, as you never did grovel, he'll realise it's a none starter. As for his engagement, I have 'my big fat gypsy wedding' in my head when you mention it.

So keep posting as it's lovely to hear you happy and making a new life for yourself.