Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Starting over after 25 years - Part Trois

355 replies

Lily007 · 04/02/2019 10:00

Time to start a new thread.

I’m hoping all you ‘regulars’ will continue the journey with me 😊

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 26/08/2019 06:21

He may well be delaying things because it gives him a good reason not to progress with his marriage to skank

Original poster
Lily007 · 27/08/2019 10:02

I can’t see why he’d get engaged if he didn’t want to marry her but, hey, who knows how his weird mind works.

He texted me yesterday to let me know he’s paid the pet insurance thankfully.

I suspect I’ll receive the consent order within the next few days, for approval 🤞. Once that’s filed and sealed by the court I can get on with selling the house 😊

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 27/08/2019 19:37

I know plenty of blokes who've used the old 'getting engaged' in the vain hope that it'll put the woman in a holding pen...

Good news about the order, hopefully it'll mean the next new chapter of your life can begin, and a new home without KH.

Redland12 · 27/08/2019 21:04

Good news about the order AND the pet insurance 👏👏

TDogsInHats · 08/09/2019 15:42

How are things going on with the order @Lily007?
Autumn on it's way, time to shed the old and hunker down for winter and the promise of a new year.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 09/09/2019 08:03

Strange, I was just wondering about Lily and the thread popped up again. Hopefully you’re well on your way to buying a new house and you’re rid of KH

Redland12 · 09/09/2019 22:38

Me too Lily, how are you? 🌺

Original poster
Lily007 · 16/09/2019 09:53

His solicitor sent the draft consent order to me at the beginning of September. There were several errors (including misspelling his surname!). To avoid further delays I re-drafted all the documents and sent them back for KH and his solicitor to sign. I’m still waiting for the signed documents 🙄

KH texted me on 4 September to ask me to put the house on the market to speed things up but I responded telling him I can’t until the consent order has been sealed by the court.

I found out yesterday KH and OW are abroad on their third holiday this year.

At this rate I’ll still be in the house at Christmas 😡

OP posts:
desperatesux · 16/09/2019 13:57

They are probably just trying to distract themselves from the fact that they probably have v little in common and need things like "holidays" to perk up their relationship. I mean in the honeymoon phase you could be anywhere and blissfully happy

Its been v v hard for you, certainly the lack of closure as I am sure you are correct, if you hadn't discovered it , it would have petered out eventually.
He paid a v high price for his affair and has lost everything so I'm sure he will do everything in his power to make it "work" and hang on in there so he doesn't lose face and be able to tell the world it was "worth it"
Hes such a walking cliche and shes no better, you are well rid

MsPavlichenko · 16/09/2019 14:01

What a nightmare Lily. Is he trying to spin it out hoping you will crack under pressure and agree to a reduced settlement? Or simply to keep up what little control he still has by trying to torment you?

Not that it matters. What are you actually able to do to force settlement? Has your friend any suggestions?

Redland12 · 16/09/2019 17:08

I agree with the OP Lily. He’s definitely paid a high price for it. I too was going to ask if your friend has any advice.

Original poster
Lily007 · 16/09/2019 21:40

I’ve discovered today KH and his skank are on a cruise!!! It’s their third holiday since May 😡.

My (solicitor) friend has advised me to just sit it out because until the house is sold KH has to continue paying the mortgage, which is why he’s trying to convince me to market it now. There’s no way I’m putting it up for sale until the order is sealed by the court. The longer he and/or his solicitor delays providing the documents the longer he has to pay the mortgage.

I’m perfectly happy to sit tight for a few more weeks or months if necessary if for no other reason than to piss him off 😉

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 16/09/2019 21:52

Why on Earth is he dragging this out so Long. The longer he pays the mortgage he more equity he pays and the more you’ll get. Him dragging his heels will benefit you in the long run Lily.

As for his holidays, sounds like he’s trying to prove to the world it’s all been worth while. I’d rather stay at home, knowing I’m not a cheating scum who’s happy to do that sort of thing to my spouse of 25 years. What a prize she’s got there

TDogsInHats · 17/09/2019 12:37

I just don't know what to sayLily
Best wishes to you and your son.Flowers

notsodimwit · 19/09/2019 18:05

Hello lily Flowers A bl00dy cruise! 🙄 I hope the boat sinks! Angry

vavavoomdeboom · 21/09/2019 10:02

Can't believe this is still going on like this. Hoping you get it resolved soon. Thanks

Redland12 · 29/09/2019 21:40

Evening Lily. How are you? 🌺

WhoKnewBeefStew · 30/09/2019 17:17

Any news @Lily007 hope things are moving for you, or at least KH went on titanic cruise liners.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 05/10/2019 12:34

@Lily007 I hope things are going ok for you and that the gruesome twosome got a dose of the trots.

Original poster
Lily007 · 06/10/2019 12:27

Hiya. Well, I received all the consent documentation signed by KH on Thursday and I've sent it to the court together with my application for decree absolute.

KH actually rang me on Thursday to apologise for all the messing about, caused by his solicitor. It was evident during the phone call that he wanted to chat but I wasn't having any of it, he forfeited that right the day he left. He asked how I was and I replied "I'm good thanks", I didn't ask how he was!

I did tell him, however, that if the court is backlogged it could be 6 to 8 weeks before the consent documentation is processed which would take us to early December and that I'm not putting the house on the market in December. Thankfully he agreed with me.

I am still able to view his mobile phone bill, he obviously doesn't know this, and he's still phoning an ex friend (female) of mine. It's really odd because he only rings her during his working hours but some days he'll phone her 4 or 5 times for up to 25 minutes! The calls have increased over the last couple of months. She's 35 years old! I'll bet OW doesn't know, although I'm sorely tempted to let her know, anonymously of course lol!

I'm doing okay for the most part. I still have "down" days but nothing too drastic but I'll be glad to get rid of this house and start afresh.

Thanks everyone for asking how I'm doing Smile

OP posts:
TDogsInHats · 06/10/2019 20:51

Hello Lily, I wonder what he's playing at?
Is it too obvious to guess that he's grown out of skank woman and is looking for greener grass?
I'm glad to see you're moving forward with things and can be free of KH in the not too distant future. Flowers

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 07/10/2019 12:29

Glad you're ok Lily. Wonder what he is playing at with all those phone calls. I'm certain his "fiance" would not be thrilled about that. Sounds as though there may be trouble in paradise, shame 😉.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 07/10/2019 14:15

Glad you're ok OP. Good news things are moving, which means 2020 will see you in your new home.

Funny how they think you still want to 'chat' to them, like all is forgiven and you'll chat away and advise like you used to.

Sounds like he's up to his trucks again, I'm sure Madge wouldn't be too happy to find out he's been chatting to another woman. Hmm

Redland12 · 07/10/2019 20:07

Soon be over Lily and you can have a brand new life. Why on earth is he talking to another woman!! He just can’t help himself. He's a joke an absolute joke. There’s going to be more to come, I feel it! Watch this space. 🌺

Redland12 · 23/10/2019 17:26

Evening Lily, how are things?🌺