Starting over after 25 years - Part Trois

[Lily007]

Time to start a new thread.

I’m hoping all you ‘regulars’ will continue the journey with me 😊

@VictoriaBun thank you

Hello Lily. Just do things at your pace, remember you are in control. He doesn’t seem to understand the procedure. Got the keys today for my house, my own bit of peace and quiet! Bliss. Your turn soon. 🌺

Good luck in your new home @Redland12. Can’t wait until it’s my turn.

I’m still waiting for the Decree Absolute, I hold my breath every day when I see the postman

I'm getting so much inspiration from you all, you will never know how much it helped me through the long dark nights following him announcing that he wanted to separate, Ive posted under various names but you will see that life is now amazing - I've met a wonderful man that loves me for who I am now, just the hard bit of finalising my divorce, selling up and finding a job new him, I'm being impatient now, I want it today but it's going to be 18 months I think for practical reasons and gives us time to make sure it's right for both of us. So it's thank you for the reassurance when I needed it and to pass on the optimism that there's amazing men out there, far better than our ex's

Thank you Lily I appreciate that. I’ve been in Spain for the last week with my family, it was lovely. My children and their partners helped me move in, it didn’t take long. I’m surrounded by boxes but slowly getting there. It’s a lot smaller than my last home so I need to get rid of a lot of stuff. Funnily enough I feel as though I’ve been here for ever, a good sign I think. I have peace now. Don’t worry it will be your turn. I do think of you.🌺

Hello Lily, I hope you had a good Christmas. How are you? 🎄

I revisited this thread today so see how you are @Lily007 hope you've had a good Christmas and all the best for the New Year

I also hope you've had a good Christmas Lily, I've name-changed but have posted a couple of times before.

Another one wishing you all the best lily

Hope the journey is nearly at an end for you @lilly 💐

@lily - Oops, sorry

Merry Christmas Lily. Another year stronger. Here is to a wonderful 2020

Happy new year Lily 🥂this is your year 🌺🌺

Happy New Year to you all too.

I had a slight wobble just before Christmas. On 23 December I rang the court for an update and discovered the Decree Absolute had been pronounced on 7 October but I hadn’t received a copy of the order. I was a bit upset for a day or two but I bounced back.

I’m now dealing with a Financial Advisor to transfer the pension and I’m hoping to market the house mid February.

I sent KH a form of authority to sign for the pension company and I put a stamped addressed envelope with it for him to return it to me, I was a bit shocked to receive a text message from him this morning stating he’d just been to the house and put it in the post box “as he was in the area”.

I’ve absolutely no idea what’s going on with him and OW which suits me. I can’t say I don’t think about him any longer, I do, but I don’t miss him now. I have to be honest though, I still hope against hope him and OW split. I don’t want him back but the bitch in me can’t help wishing him misery.

Thanks everyone for your good wishes and I’ll check in from time to time with updates.

Onward and upward hey 😊

Thank you for the update Lily. Wishing you so much happiness for 2020, a new home and finally free from KH. It must be difficult after so many years with someone, you can’t just forget about them overnight. You have been amazing through all this. 2020 is your year xx

Hey there Lily, fantastic to here from you. I do think how you are doing. Never thought after 42 years I would not want him back. BUT I don’t, as Kat2000 said you can’t forget them over night but I’ve had some good nights where he’s not come into my mind if you get what I mean 😉. Please keep us updated. Keep going Lily, you’ve done brilliantly. Xx

Lily good to hear from you. Wishing you all the best for 2020 and, when the house sells, finally being free of KH

Hi Lily xx so pleased you updated wishing you all the best for 2020 and I also hope KH and OW ( Madge from Benidorm 🧟) have a rotten 2020!

And keep updating us xxxx

Thank you all so much and I will keep you updated.

@Kat2000 and @Redland12 it’s so very hard to completely forget but as you’ll both know it gets easier with time.

@Redland12 have you settled into your new home now? Like you, I’ll be moving from a fairly large house to a much smaller one and the thought of having to get rid of quite a lot of furniture is daunting but once it’s done I’m sure I’ll feel more settled. It’ll be lovely to know I’m not beholden to KH for anything 😊

Yes Lily I have, funnily enough thank you, it’s like I’ve always been here, I absolutely love it. I too have had to get rid of so much and buy new smaller furniture. I have given a lot away. It just won’t fit. I am in a 2 up 2 down terrace. Moved in 25th November. I’ve decorated upstairs already, looks amazing. My EXH is paying me a weekly salary so I’m not working anymore. He’s been good about it. Says he’s lonely and wakes up every morning and asks himself, what have I done! Me, I’m loving life! You will too Lily. 🌺

It's good to read your updateLily
A smaller house has its advantages, smaller bills and less cleaning. Of course you'd rather not have to move given the choice, but look to the positives.
Good wishes to you.

@Redland12. I’m so glad you’re happy in your new home. I’m going to be looking for a 2 bed terraced property too. Lucky you, not having to work. I work 4 days a week but I don’t much like my job, the people I work with are nice but the actual work’s pretty boring. It’s local which suits me but I’d give it up tomorrow if I could afford to.

I also sort of envy you knowing your ex is miserable, I’m sure KH is as happy as Larry (whoever Larry is 🙄). I don’t want him back but I’d still love to know he was miserable. I can’t wait for the day when I don’t care one way or the other, indifference is my aim but I’m not quite there yet.

Ah well here’s hoping I win the lottery and can give up work 🤞😊

Sorry @TDogsInHats. Thank you so much for your good wishes 😊

Congratulations on the absolute, I couldn't wait for mine to come through but still had a wobble for a day or two.

Do keep updating, it's great to hear you onwards and upwards