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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

OH attacked me but I can't leave tonight (pic)

414 replies

youjustdontunderstand · 24/01/2019 21:57

Threw DS high chair at me then hit me with a remote. I have a job interview tomorrow I've already rearranged it so that's not an option and I need this job.

I have packed up all our things and hid them I can't have him know we are leaving.

Really worried about this cut being visible tomorrow! Sad

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 24/01/2019 22:48

I hope you get this job. Please please get out ASAP. That injury is disgraceful, you poor thing. :(

Tequilamockinbird · 24/01/2019 22:48

Please please call the police tonight and get him arrested. That way you can get the kids stuff together and move to your mums after the interview tomorrow.

If you're scared to ring the police, can 1 of us do it for you? I'm sure any of us would ring them for you if you pm your address details.

Whatever you decide, stay safe Thanks

Purplecatshopaholic · 24/01/2019 22:49

So sorry to hear you are going through this. He is controlling and you need to end it. Been there done that. He wont change. Hope you get the job you are going for, and get the Hell out - your kids deserve better

rytonsister · 24/01/2019 22:50

Love - reading in a rush but I'm a cop, please please call 999 . The fact you are both in same house is a massive risk tonight. Police will remove him and give you a night of peace.

Tomorrow make the big decisions. Tonight be safe. X

devasted · 24/01/2019 22:51

It is not just sabotage for your interview tomorrow, he feels he is losing control. Domestic abuse is all about exerting power and control.

Please whatever you do DO NOT tell him you are planning on leaving, you have seen his reaction to you going for a job interview, and also DO NOT under any circumstances go back into that house for more of your things once you have left not without a police escort.

I don't mean to frighten you but leaving can be the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship as the dynamic shifts and they feel like they are losing control over you.

Personally I think you should get out tonight with just the kids once he is asleep and you can get the car keys. Drive to your mum's and phone the police.

Don't worry about your job interview - it isn't going to be much use to you if God forbid he kills you. There will be other job interviews and you can and will get your life back on track. Good luck OP

C0untDucku1a · 24/01/2019 22:52

good luck with the interview tomorrow. Stay calm and stay safe tonight.

PinkAvocado · 24/01/2019 22:54

I think pp advice is sound: guarantee your safety tonight by leaving. That’s what is most important. Call the police or get someone else to them you can get everything ready for tomorrow Flowers

Jux · 24/01/2019 22:54

Please phone the police. You are not safe. You are not safe.

Are you able to have the children sleep in with you or will that just anger him again?

Can you sleep in their room, all 3 of you together?

cindersrella · 24/01/2019 22:56

On your photo that looks like a deepish cut, may need glueing. Please be carful getting this game together whilst you 'think' he is asleep.

If he realises what you are doing it will be more than a bit of glue you may need.

Call your possible new job tomorrow and say you have been really unwell but are very kean and if your are a good enough candidate hopefully they will interview within the next few days.

He hasn't packed a punch he has used a high chair as a weapon and smashed it in your face. Please call the police and get help getting you out of there!

cindersrella · 24/01/2019 22:57

Should say getting things together

Porridgeoat · 24/01/2019 22:59

IF you do go to the interview it’s unlikely they will comment. I think you could pass it off as catching your lip on the car door when you opened it

April2020mom · 24/01/2019 22:59

Call the police immediately. Your life is in danger. Do you have any important documents? If so gather them all and prepare for life as a single parent. Are you seeing a therapist or counsellor or not? Do you have any friends or not? Do you have any children or not? Good luck.

Is it possible to reschedule your interview tomorrow? I’d definitely call them to explain. Prayers and thoughts coming your way.

wigglypiggly · 24/01/2019 22:59

Hope you're ok, is he going to be out of the house tomorrow.

TornFromTheInside · 24/01/2019 23:02

The timing is for you to judge, but you cannot continue with a man capable of this.
Nobody, man or woman deserves that, ever.

You and your children need to plan for a new life free of violence. Of course, ultimately you will have to plan that for them.

Inform the police as soon as you are safe to do so, and be resolute, absolutely resolute. For the long term good, you must do this.

PurpleDaisies · 24/01/2019 23:02

DD is fine he would never hurt the kids

You can’t know that. You need help to get away from him right now

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 24/01/2019 23:03

Oh, that 2nd photo, that does need someone to look at it this evening. Where is he now? Can you quietly call 999

They will arrive and you can ask for your keys so you can go to your mums with DC and they will help you arrange for medical help. Or let them take him away for questioning and you can all stay at home.

What time is your interview tomorrow?

Gemz1806 · 24/01/2019 23:03

You can phone the police and explain you have children sleeping but you feel threatened and have been abused. They will only need to knock the door to see your face to take him away. They won't care whos house it is. They want to take the threat away from you. Please do it. Then you will have the fredom of the house to get what you need! They will not barge in, they will be understanding of the fact children are in the house!! Please phone. You have come on here beacuse you need help. As much as we want to we can't remove him. The police can.

TwoGinScentedTears · 24/01/2019 23:05

Oh Op how awful. I know you have a plan and everyone her is saying leave tonight, butbas a compromise could you tell someone in real life tonight what's gone on and your plan? Like your mum?

For the record, I think you should leave tonight if you can. I hope you're safe whatever you decide to do.

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 24/01/2019 23:06

The police will be a calm and controlled presence. Let them take control for you.

Rafabella · 24/01/2019 23:06

I am literally shaking at this. I'm a grown woman and these photos have taken me back to my childhood, looking at my own mother. Some things never leave you. Please please for the sake of your life and those of your children, leave. Tonight. Call the police. Do it now. X

historygeek12 · 24/01/2019 23:09

Please sweetheart call the police get them round now they will take you to your mums just please call them

cindersrella · 24/01/2019 23:11

Rafa I am like you 😞

snowbear66 · 24/01/2019 23:11

So sorry this has happened to you. Stay safe and leave as soon as you can. Good luck for tomorrow.

SweetbutAPsycho · 24/01/2019 23:13

Oh honey I'm soo sorry this has happened to you. I echo everyone else's comments about leaving him as soon as you can and never look back. You and your children deserve better. I regards to the cut, ice for the swelling and lots of make up to try and hide it as much as possible. I know it's difficult to concentrate on tomorrow but don't let him stop you getting a job you want.

CookieBlue · 24/01/2019 23:14

Oh my gosh.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No other advice to give but please please do what you need to do to stay safe Flowers. The police will help you, you MUST involve them xx