He wants a baby now, says he'll leave if I'm not fertile

[CMD87]

I'm 32 years old. We have been together 9 years. He's in a good paying job. I've been unemployed for 3 months. On the pill since before we met. He's now said once I get a job and we have 2 steady incomes, we have to start trying for a baby. He also said I'm not getting any younger and that if I'm infertile, then he'll have to find someone younger. I'd like kids maybe, but never had that massive maternal longing like other. My nieces and nephews are cool etc! Financially we are not ready.

As I've wrote this out, I now feel I know the answer to my non question here.

Anyone else experience something similar? 😦

Why on earth would you ever want to have a baby with someone who is so horrid to you. Even if you desperately wanted kids, I'd say leave and don't look back. You deserve so much better.

You deserve better. Alarm bells ringing here.

Jesus! 9years together and he says that?!

If he loved you he wouldn't leave you.
If he doesn't love you then why stay together?

Wow just wow. Do not be his rent a womb. He is showing a massive disconnect between you and a baby which should be bought into a healthy, loving relationship. Not a demand one partner makes on another! I'll be the first to say it but you know you need to LTB

I'm afraid I agree with others. Why would you want to have a baby with someone who is so unpleasant to you. It will only get worse as you become more dependent on him which is inevitable when you have a baby.

Just don’t.

Tell him ditto but you aren't taking the risk. You will be looking for a younger replacement ASAP.

I'd be leaving as quickly as possible. What a twat

I'd say, ok then love, off you f*CK, cos I'm not having kids with someone so awful as you. Bye!

Walk away. Don't bring an innocent baby into this. And don't put yourself through it either. You deserve better.

Eugh. He sounds grim.

Hard to believe anyone could be so blunt

You are even considering giving a child that twat as a father, get a bloody grip ffs x

Oh no, he's horrible to say he'd ditch you if you're not fertile. What happens if he's not fertile? What kind of a kick in the teeth is that.

Good job he is showing true colours now. Get rid, you're worth more. You'll find someone else who values you regardless of fertility and you may find yourself wanting a family.

Hope you find a job soon. That's the priority.

I'm afraid i'd be telling him to pack his bags and fuck the fuck off.

I think at some point many women with fertility issues come up against the feeling/fear that their partner will or should leave them for someone 'fertile'. I know I certainly have at times, but DH has always insisted its a baby with me or no baby at all, he has no interest in finding someone else to have a baby for him. If you honestly can't say that's how your partner would react then I don't think you should be with him at all.

Lucky you, you're now well informed enough to give your precious fertility to someone more deserving of it.

What a prize twat he is. How about if HE is infertile?
Leave him now. He is treating you like his prize cow!

If this was posted by a woman saying that she wants a baby, shes 32 and her partner isnt ready yet, the advice would be to leave if she wants dcs. His words may have been brutal, but at 32 the clock is ticking, especially if they want more than 1.

If the ops dp is the same age, it's logical that if he definetly wants dcs, that someone younger might be a better option.

Not nice to hear but what a woman would be advised to do is leave and replace him with someone else.

What a dick. Are you financially tied together at all - mortgage? If not I'd be out the door. Tell him you're off to find an Adonis to father your kids if and when you decide you'd even want any. Fucking control freak he is.

And what if he is infertile?

He needs to go, how dare he speak to you like that. Say you weren't able to have babies, his job as your partner would be to support and love you no matter what, not leave you like faulty goods.

Horrid man.

we have to start trying for a baby. He also said I'm not getting any younger and that if I'm infertile, then he'll have to find someone younger.

OP, I think this is my first ever LTB. No fannying about trying to make things work, getting counselling, etc etc etc, just leave, now. The thought of TTC with someone who's said that makes me physically sick. Who the fuck does he think he is? Henry VIII for the modern era?

😱

FWIW I think this is a relationship issue not a fertility issue, so I'd get it moved to the relationships board if I were you.

But yeah. LTB.

Your age isn't an issue for your fertility levels. Your prospective choice of parent for your dc may be. Be really sure you want to have dc with this man.

It's like he's looking for a womb, any womb, to bear his children.