Threesomes!!!

[Bug8]

What's the reality of threesomes? Fantasy am enjoying at the moment, boyfriend wants us to find the third, but am reluctant as to what this would do to our relationship. To be honest, am a heterosexual woman who isn't attracted to women at all, but enjoy a little bit of imagination during sex, & of course boyfriend wants this (MFF) so much, turns him on a great deal. Am happy with just the fantasy & think we risk our relationship if we invite the third into our relationship. Share yo experiences please. Thanks

Don't do it OP. It sounds like you're dancing to his tune and he doesn't sound very nice.

Iv had mff and mfm. Did mfm with my husband at the very beginning of our relationship. Caused no problems at all, we were carefree and it wasnt a serious relationship at the time tho which is why it went ok.
I feel like if you are in love and were to add another person in the bedroom it would go badly. Someone will feel jealous

I'm sorry, but I can only imagine there's something amiss in the relationship when he feels this aroused about involving another woman.
Sure, it's a fantasy for many men, but most are happy to keep it that way.
Does he have a wandering eye in general, OP?
And if you indulge him once, won't he just keep on wanting it? Who would select the other woman: you or him? I have trust issues, and wouldn't be able to do this at all. Sorry!

He's a cheeky git imo! Fantasy is one thing, reality is another. A girl I used to know, her bf used to really pile pressure on her to have a threesome. Eventually she agreed and he had a hissy fit in the middle of it because she was enjoying being with the other woman too much! That ended their relationship, absolute knob.

Yep, keep in fantasy land. You are imagining being the 'in control one' in the relationship - the 'true' girlfriend. But it wouldn't be like that in reality, would it? With a real live woman who doesn't see her role as being to satisfy your sexual fantasies.

Reading this I feelnlike;

A. He's pushed/wheedled the (mff) threesome fantasy into your sex life. And it's now all the time/a fetish.

B. He's hassling you about making it a reality. And not even a one off, but ongoibg.

C. He's trying to jedi mind trick you into believing you're bisexual, with the mff threesome as his end game.

He sounds fixating on this, he sounds manipulative (very) and I'd bet if you asked his exes what happened, this would've come up too.

You don't seem at that stage (nobdiubt because you're attached, invested and he seems so good and nice in other aspects, but honestly it seems better for you to get out.

I don't think he'll stop,band he may even cheat sooner or later and try to blame you for not going along with what he wanted.

His fixation on the fulfillment of his own fantasies (involving something that would make the vast majority of people deeply uncomfortable and would be unacceptable to them in s relationship) regardless if your wishes and feelings ... I suspect you're a big younger than him, I suspect he'd looking for someone to manipulate and I suspect hell keep looking if you turn out not to be manipulate-able in this area.

NotTheFordType I have just worked out your user name

I think you have been very clear that you're not interested. But he's basically ignoring you because he doesn't care.

You: I'm not interested in women.
Him: you're wrong, you're bisexual.

You clearly saying no: I want to keep this a fantasy. I do not want a ffm.
Him: you aren't clearly saying no, so I'll keep pushing.

You: I'm not interest in ffm, how about mmf?
Him: I'm not interested in mmf so we'll have a ffm

He's not listening to you because he doesn't want to, not because you haven't been clear. Big red flag!

I agree with a foursome but, as he is not agreeable, he needs to stop pressuring you into a threesome and telling you your sexuality.

A lot of red flags with this man. He does not seem trustworthy--he comes across as a potential cheater. At the minimum, he will give you a complex that you are not enough to satisfy him in bed.

I'd be wary. Ditch the fucker.

It's a long complicated story & I wont spend an hour writing about it and boring everyone to tears. There is truth in what everyone has said. I will send you a private message bug8 with my experience as a 52 yo hetro who travelled down that road two years ago. For me, like you, it was a fantasy with appeal and if I were honest, once I had got over being self conscious, it was a very nice experience and I'm happy to have had that experience. If your a jealous person by nature don't travel that road, it will not go well. If your not at least bi-curious, don't do it. As someone mentioned, all 3 people are intimate in various ways, there is no other way around it. If the thought of being embraced or in contact with the other women is a hard pill to swallow, then its probably not for you.

Other than that. Your partner trying to tell you, your bi-sexual is disingenuous at best. He is trying to project how he WANTS you to be in order for him to live out his fantasy.

"my naughty princesses"

BOAK

*"my naughty princesses"

BOAK*

Oh come on, don't pretend that didn't reenact the dambusters in your knickers when you read it.

@Chestylarue52

You just gave me my first hearty cackle of the day with "4 lusty leprechauns"

Sorry to ask... but this group chat - does it actually involve a real 2nd woman/third person or is it a fantasy chat with one of you playing the role of 2nd woman...? If she is real - (and I hate to type this) is there any chance he'll be seeing her behind your back anyway?

I'd say the reaction was more like wanting to gouge out my own eyes with spoons @showmeshoyu

Threesomes work for some and not for others...if you are not interested then it should be a firm NO!
My husband and I have been together for 13 years and last year we explored the fantasy of a MFF threesome...we tried it once, we enjoyed it but it wasn't something we'd do again...think the fantasy was better than the actual reality of it.

MeganJPerry, am sorry to hear abt what you went through and will appreciate that PM please. Thank you

Thank you everyone for your advise, it has really helped as I couldn't confide in anyone close to me. So we were together this weekend and we got talking, I told him I have bought abt it all and i don't feel comfortable with it and that I would much prefer it to remain as a fantasy. Chat seemed to go down well but

I'd insist on MMF first and see how that goes.

Accidentally sent before finishing..............as I was saying.............told him if he wants to fulfil this fantasy, we will have to end us so he can find someone else as am not feeling the mff thing. Told him doing is too risky and I wouldn't want to risk us for a threesome, not worth it. So for now, he's ok with not perusing mff.

OrigamiZoo, if am honest, am old fashioned and group sex isn't my thing and would rather just me and the boyfriend. There's a lot that can be done to keep our sex life interesting. So I don't really fancy mmf either.

I had the FFM fantasy. The opportunity arose and didn't enjoy it. Was talking to someone who said maybe it was down to the other female. Figured they had a point. An opportunity came again, still didn't enjoy it.

I have hesitated before commenting on this one. I would like to add a slightly different perspective here. I don’t do judgemental or shocked and I think it’s important to consider the whole picture.

I am very attracted to women as well as men. Suffice to say l know what other women feel and taste like. Or, if you want to give me a label, l am well past the curious stage.

But that is personal to me. I would not want to become a male entertainment centre to perform in a virtual circus ring.

Stand firm and do not go beyond where you choose to go.

You're not 'old fashioned'.

Well done on the talk. He has no right to try to remove your boundaries.