In a relationship of about 9 months.
The main issue is that I'm finding it really difficult to trust him.
I suspect part of that comes from me - I find it difficult to trust anybody, and previously have chosen partners who are somewhat "safe" (as in, I didn't think they would ever cheat on me).
Current partner has a relationship history that is somewhat....colourful. He was married, had an affair, ended the marriage and saw the affair partner for another couple of years, cheated on her. Had a couple of short-ish (6 months) relationships since, which if not overlapping, were certainly very, very close together.
He has never given me any reason to suspect that he is/was/has cheated on me. But then, he has years of experience, so I doubt I would know even if he was.
He is currently working away, and I'm driving myself mad with "what if" thoughts. Of course, I can't know where he is every second of every day, but that leads me to wonder what he is doing, given that it would be pretty easy to cheat whilst he is away.
I suspect lots of people are going to reply with "why on earth are you bothering?", and believe me, I've wondered that myself. But things are really good when we are together, and I don't want to end something that is potentially a non problem, but actually all in my head, or a problem caused by my own issues.
Is it me, with trust issues?
Is it him, with his history?
Does it matter what is making me feel uneasy, when the fact that it is making me feel uneasy at all isn't great anyway?